Week 25: December 16, 2013

Hey there!

I have a lot to tell you this week, so I hope you're ready to have your minds blown.

Starting with Pärnu. I guess it's like the tourist capital of Estonia, and it's about two hours out of Tallinn, which means six hours from Narva. Anywho, I had to stay there with two other Estonian sisters while our companions (all sister training leaders) went to a leadership council in Riga. That was super interesting because, first of all, there are hardly any Russian speakers there. All I heard was "Tere!", which means hello. Also pretty sure I heard some Estonian curse words when I tried to speak to people in Russian, haha. But yeah, it's pretty much the cutest town I've ever seen. Apparently it's right next to the best beach in the Baltics; I just didn't get to see it. I was introduced to this Estonian mustard, which is essentially like wasabi mustard. I've never really tried wasabi and I wasn't expecting the effect it had on me: I spread some on a piece of bread like I saw a branch member doing it and took a bite and it just hit me. My immediate thought was, "What's happening to my face?" as tears started to pour. My sinuses went something like WA-BAM! It was really good though so we bought some in the store today.

That night I rode back into Tallinn with Sister Benson and we started our exchange with the sisters there, Sister Carr and Sister Dalley. Tallinn reminds me a lot of Vilnius, except the challenges are a little different because their Russian branch is combined with the Estonian branch. I guess that half of the services on Sunday are in Estonian and half are in Russian. It makes it difficult to have branch unity, and the thing that's a bummer for the Russians is that anywhere they are in the Baltics, they're the minority. So their voice tends to get drowned out and it's harder to get them to feel like they belong at church. But it was cool because I was on the exchange with Sister Dalley (she came out the same time as me) and we had a lesson with a member, Mark. He brought his blind friend that he's been helping out for a really long time. It was actually really sweet because he's somewhat mentally handicapped but he is so pumped about the gospel and his testimony. He said the opening prayer and he literally blessed each of us individually in the like manner: "Please bless Sister Dalley. Give her hope, strength, love, peace, and health. Please bless her family. Bless them to be safe, happy; give them hope, strength, peace, and love. Please bless Sister Gooch...etc." It was kind of adorable. He also bore his testimony twice in the middle of the prayer. Mark is awesome. He said he's getting me a New Year's present because I'm his best friend, but honestly, that's how he feels about everyone. It's great.

Sister Dalley and I get along really well though. We had a ton of fun and she's just about the nicest, most chill person ever. We taught a really powerful lesson on the street in English since the girl didn't speak Russian, but it reminded me of how much I love what I'm doing right now. Sister Dalley asked me what my favorite part of missionary work is and I think it's those moments when you say exactly what the Spirit prompted you to, or you do exactly what you've been guided to do, and you can tell that it strengthens or effects somebody else in a positive way. Being an instrument in the hands of the Lord is just about the best thing I can do for my own self-esteem.

So lots of bus rides this week, which is not fun, but I realize that complaining about having to travel to three different cities in Estonia isn't very grateful. Do you realize how cool my life is right now? I've been especially lucky to have gone to all of the open cities in Estonia except for Tartu. Pretty rad, huh?

Oh, and we found out this week that this transfer ends on the 26th, so I'll be in Narva for sure on Christmas. Which makes me really, really happy. I was going to be so bummed if I didn't get to be here for that.

This week Sister Janis was talking to us after church to set up a meeting for tonight, and she busts out this salmon-brown colored block of something with the consistency of cream cheese and starts spreading it on bread. I sensed that something was wrong when Sister Benson immediately was like, "Actually, we have to get going right now so we'll call you later and be in touch." Sister Janis wanted us to eat this bread with browny stuff on it and thankfully we didn't because I found out later that it was spreadable liver. Did that sink in? Spreadable liver. I am 100% that meat is not supposed to be spreadable, ever. So thank heavens for Sister Benson's wisdom and urgency.

Wanna know what the highlight of my week was, though? For the spiritual portion of our English class, we taught about repentance. This guy named Vladimir came and I'm not sure if he's completely sane or not but he was loving everything that we said. At one point, I said, "To me, repentance means change." (Roughly translated; pretty sure there's not an English equivalent to the beginning of my sentence) But get this: Vladimir whips out a pen and writes down what I said. I don't know if you can totally comprehend how rad this is: I was quoted by a Russian, in Russian. What the?! Granted, it is probably the easiest sentence ever to say, but I was feeling pretty good about myself right about then.

Later in the week we taught Zhenja, who's wife is less-active. I told Ash last week but her name is Masha and she was baptized by Calvin's brother-in-law, which is cool. Anyway, we have been trying to meet with him foreverrrr and it finally worked! We brought Brat Kaben (technically President Kaben as of this week) and had a great lesson. We started it out like this: "Zhenja, we're here to tell you why your attempts at quitting smoking have never worked." We're working on being bold, obviously. Essentially it boiled down to the fact that he, as a son of God, was given the divine power to make decisions for himself. And secondly, that he must have a greater and more perfect trust in God to deliver him from temptation and give him strength. It was a great lesson though. He's going to start the program to quit this week. We are hoping with all of our hearts that he and Masha start coming to church and become the first full-fledged family in the branch. He wants to get baptized in the spring because he has lots of stuff that he wants to fix about his life before then, but we're working with him on that. He's a fun person.

I've been thinking a lot about my area and about the needs of the Narva branch in general, and something that I've been impressed over and over about is that I need to be helping somebody in every interaction I have with them to become fully converted to the Lord. The members here are really awesome and I'm making it sound like they aren't converted, but here's what I mean: there are tons of people in the world who have testimonies that the gospel is true and who come to church every Sunday and are honestly active members, but they aren't fully converted. Full and true conversion is actually something I don't feel like I really had until I came on my mission. It's something that Elder Bednar talks about a lot. (Here's the hint that you should look it up) But yeah, I was thinking this morning about why I'm converted unto the Lord and what has made the difference for me.

Here's what I got:

-I have had daily interaction with either the scriptures or the Lord consistently in my life.

-Heavenly Father always, always, always answers my prayers.

-I guess that you love what you sacrifice for, and my mission so far has been the greatest blessing for my relationship with the Lord.

-I have been deeply impressed with His love and loyalty for me, and I'd like to return the same to Him.

-The way that He works with each of His children is incomprehensible to me, but I have been given a glimpse and I want to be a part of it--I want to be His hands.

-I have tried out His promises and invitations and found more blessings there than I ever could have expected.

-He keeps working with and through me even though I make mistakes and am not always the perfect or ideal vessel for His purposes.

-His understanding of my potential is deeper than mine and I know that if I stick with Him, I can reach it.

-He so perfectly supports me.

-I ask Him for a change of heart and he gives it to me.

-I have made covenants and I seek to understand and honor them.

To sum it all up, I feel like the things that have made the biggest difference for me in truly being converted is daily scripture study and prayer, an understanding and remembrance of covenants, and a study of true and simple doctrine. 

I know that I talked a few weeks about the "art of prayer", and it's been bugging me ever since because I think back on it and think of how snooty that sounds. My thoughts have changed a little bit since then because I think I made it sound like prayer must be this eloquent plea before the Lord, but that's not what I meant. I don't take back what I said about remembering the Savior as your Advocate when you pray, but I think that James E. Talmage says what I am trying to say better than I can: "It is well to know that prayer is not compounded of words, words that may fail to express what one desires to say, words that so often cloak inconsistencies, words that may have no deeper source than the physical organs of speech, words that may be spoken to impress mortal ears. The dumb may pray, and that too with the eloquence that prevails in heaven. Prayer is made up of heart throbs and the righteous yearnings of the soul, of supplication based on the realization of need, of contrition and pure desire. If there lives a man who has never really prayed, that man is a being apart from the order of the divine in human nature, a stranger in the family of God's children. Prayer is for the uplifting of the suppliant. God without our prayers would be God; but we without prayer cannot be admitted to the kingdom of God."

I thought that was pretty.

Anyways, I hope that you all have a great week. The house looks so good! Kind of crazy to see pictures because it looks way different. Good luck with selling it!

Love you all to the moon and back.

-Sister Gooch

P.S. Can you send me the recipe for caramel popcorn and caramel apples? And Sarah Whittier's email address, along with Sadie's? And Leah Derrington's? Aaaand Rachel Alderman's? Thank you!

Also, I haven't received my package yet--don't know if I will before Christmas. It might be in Riga sitting in the mission office, but seeing as Narva is kind of an isolated part of the mission, we don't get mail, like, ever. But I will tell you when I do!

Week 24: December 9, 2013

Hey there!

So I've been on my mission for what, seven months(ish) now? And I had been wondering when I would encounter some food that was just ridiculous and nightmarish, like the stuff you always hear returned missionaries talking about. Well, dear friends, it happened at a birthday party. Kasenja turned 19 and invited us to eat dinner with her at the church last Monday. Her mom had prepared this thing--I don't know what they call it. I'll just tell you the ingredients: mayonnaise, sardines (or some kind of fish with eyeballs. Let me emphasize that again lest you missed it: eyeballs!), onions, beets, and pretty much everything about Russian food that I'm still not (probs won't ever be) used to. I persevered and ate that sucker like it was nothin'. 

Anywho, it's snowed everyday here last week, which is actually kind of nice because that means that every day the ice gets covered so it's not so slippery. Anya (14 year old in the branch) makes fun of me for walking like a babushka but whatevs! Babushki know how to hustle safely, which is what I like to call my method. The bab-hustle.

Ever since I got here, I wondered how people use strollers here because it's freezing and there is a ton of snow, but I get it now! I've seen more people pulling their kids in sleds than strollers lately, so that's fun. I would have loved that when I was little!

As for the weekly Sister Janis story, I actually had a really sweet experience with her. From our last lesson, she had told us that she doesn't quite have a testimony of Joseph Smith and in the lesson, I had told her that we'd print of a talk by Jeffery R. Holland for her. The one I had in mind was "Safety for the Soul", where he bears a face-melting testimony of the Book of Mormon. Even though it has more to do with the Book of Mormon than with Joseph Smith's history and all that, I still felt pretty strongly that she needed to read it. We finally got to meet with her again on Saturday night and basically read through the whole talk with her because she loves to read out loud. And here's the thing about Sister Janis: she is ridiculously faithful and believing. As she was reading, she stopped towards the end and said, with hand over heart, "Sister Gooch, God put it in your heart to give me this talk. I just received a testimony that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. Glory to God! Halellujah!" It was so much more hilarious/endearing in Russian and if you could just see the way her eyebrows go up and down and she bobs her head when she talks. Every time we've seen her since then, she gives me a huge hug and says, "My dear, my beautiful, my little Sister Goochka! God told you to give me that talk, didn't he?" She's the highlight of my day, almost every day.

This week was full of really, really cool experiences, actually. We had an awesome lesson with Sasha. Sister Valling helped us, and I can't remember if I ever told you about her but she is what keeps this branch running. She's the most solid member and she is about 50. Anyway, we talked with Sasha about fasting and we decided to fast with him to receive an answer about whether or not he should be baptized on December 25th. Best present I could think of to give Christ, personally. But anyway, it was one of the most spiritual experiences of my life. Before I fast, I like to write down in my journal exactly what I'm fasting for or any questions I have. Then I pray with my eyes open to begin my fast and read down the list slowly, writing down impressions and thoughts that come to my mind as I go. Heavenly Father always gives me more than I ever expect from Him. I have wondered since I was in the MTC why I was learning Russian. Hopefully my head doesn't seem too big when I say that I can express myself pretty well in English, and I'm used to saying things in a way that makes me feel like I can get my point across in a pretty way. Obviously I can't do that in Russian. I had actually expressed this frustration to Sister Wrigley, my MTC teacher (sorry I talk about her all the time, it's just that she's the best and she taught me some of the most valuable things I've learned on my mission) and she told me to ask Heavenly Father what Russian has to teach me in life. Because obviously everything Heavenly Father puts in our lives has the intention of building us up; we just have to figure out how it's supposed to do that. So I did ask Him but never felt like I received an answer.

Fast forward six or so months, and I just get it now. Heavenly Father wants me to learn Russian so that I can learn to rely on Him and the Atonement completely. I had thought that I knew how to do that--I've always had the testimony that He can make our weaknesses become strong, but I hadn't recognized that He knows how to make full use of me--infirmities and all. That means that He can change every detail about me and make me into something glorious. Every part of me. My time here is teaching me to have a more complete faith in the cleansing and enabling power of the Atonement. And I know I talk about this almost every week, how we can change our weaknesses and become better, but I guess it's the message that Heavenly Father's especially searing into my heart since I've been on my mission. I figure He wants you to know it, too.

Sasha didn't necessarily receive any answers about his baptismal date, but that fast was mission-changing, I think. So I'm incredibly grateful nonetheless.

Had another powerful lesson with a former investigator of the elders (before sisters came to Narva) named Ludmila. If you haven't clued in yet, Russians pretty much have a variety of ten different names, haha. Anyway, we had taught an English class and at the end, for our spiritual thought, we gave everyone a piece of paper and told them to write down the name and contact information of someone they know who wants to change their lives and become better or who would be interested in the gospel. Ludmila referred herself, which was pretty awesome because apparently the whole time that Sister Benson has been here, she's been trying to meet with her. We taught her about repentance using Alma the Younger's conversion story in Alma 36. We explained what was happening as we went and focused on showing her how Alma went through the process of repentance. It was really cool because I've made a goal to memorize a bunch of things from Preach My Gospel in Russian and there was this perfect moment that it came to memory and I said it very slowly; sentence by sentence, and suddenly it just clicked for Ludmila. She said, "I've read this story with the missionaries before but I never understood it!" The Spirit really helped her see how Jesus Christ is connected to the process of repentance, and why we need Him as a Mediator with Heavenly Father. That was pretty awesome. 

Another sweet thing about this week was our other lesson with Sasha, where we talked about the Word of Wisdom. Thankfully, Sasha doesn't smoke or drink, so the only thing he really had to give up was green tea. We asked him what he thought about the whole commandment (not the best question, haha) and he said, "It's like people in the army, right? They have to be physically prepared for battle and they have to condition their bodies to perform well. In the same way, God gave us the Word of Wisdom to keep the condition of our spirits healthy and ready to deal with any of the trials that we have in life."

Here's where one of those movie moments is supposed to happen where I'm in the middle of drinking a glass of water and I spray it everywhere. Future gospel doctrine teacher, right there.

Remember how I told you about President and Sister Dolgovi? Well, he was released as branch president and transferred to Latvia, so now we don't have a branch president. I'm really pumped to see who the new branch president is going to be. I mean, there's not much imagination to use since we only have one priesthood holder, Brat Kaben, but I'm still excited. 

Anyways, I hope that y'all have a lovely week. Crazy that I get to talk to you in like two weeks, right? LOVE YOU.

-Sister Gooch

Week 23: December 2, 2013

Hey friends!

I guess I haven't told you much about Narva. I've mentioned that it's tiny--we seem the same people often and people pretty much know who we are. People call us девченки here, which is pronounced dyevchonkee. But it sounds like dyev-chunky to me, and it means gals or chicks or something. It's slang for girls, so I'm not sure how that translates. Anywho, it makes me feel like a fat little five-year old with lopsided pigtails and chocolate on the corner of my mouth that's just baaarely too far for my tongue to reach. 

Obviously I've thought about this a lot.

I guess it doesn't help that I cut four inches off my hair and now look like an eight-year old. Life is good; hair is healthy. I can't complain.

As you probably know, it's cold here. I had thought that it wouldn't really surprise me because it's not like I'm from Hawaii--but I didn't realize that it would be so painful. Haha it feels exactly like being on a sled pulled by a snow mobile and the snow is just flying in your face and you're not really sure how you're going to live. And there's literally two inches of ice everywhere--I'm terrified that I'm going to fall and break my leg since it hasn't healed from the first day in the MTC. I may or may not be a drama queen, but I'm tellin' ya, it's nothing like I've ever experienced before. And everyone keeps saying that it's normal weather! Apparently it gets to be -27 in January. Happy birthday to me! Also, I don't think I mentioned that I'm serving in the coldest city in my mission. So there's that.

But yeah, this week has been lovely. You know how I'm somewhat fanatical about Christmas? It's like my winter wonderland dream come true here. I bought a Christmas tree and some holly and I'm pretty sure it's going to be the cutest thing ever. I'm also spearheading this Christmas activity in the branch that I'm pumped about. There are going to be three separate parts of the Savior's life that we'll have presentations on: His miraculous birth, His ministry, and His Atonement/Resurrection. 

I love Christmas so hard.

I've come to realize that I will probably have a hilarious story about Sister Janis to tell you every week. This week, we were moving this huge table in the church kitchen to the sacrament hall. Sister Janis came in the door just as we were trying to squeeze it through the doorway of the sacrament hall and immediately she throws her purse down and her hat off her head and starts yelling, "Oh Lord, help us!" as she took part of the table and just ended up making it a lot more difficult. I was laughing so hard. The funny thing is that she doesn't even take the Lord's name in vain: she's literally always addressing Him in prayer. She's the most faithful person ever and it makes me so sad that y'all don't know her.

Another shining Sister Janis moment was on Sunday, when she told me that I look like a beautiful Egyptian. I just--I don't even know where she's coming from. Haha she's so funny.

The branch had an activity where we went to an art museum. It was a Christmas exhibit, apparently, but it had lots of Bulgarian artists. So Mike, that's cool. I also read Bulgarian all the time on the products here and it makes me excited for the fact that we might be able to kind of understand each other when I get home.

And oh my gosh, Ashton is one! So crazy. Nobody sent me pics of him, so let's jump on that next week, shall we? And Thanksgiving! It sounds like it was fun. Mine was pretty great.

As predicted, Sister Benson and I ended up doing the gravy, apple tarts, rolls, stuffing, cranberry cake, and squash. The elders brought chicken and coleslaw, haha. It was super good though--the whole church smelled like America. Which I'm now realizing just smells like food that's going to make you feel like a big fat lard, haha.

Forgot to tell you that Elder Rawlings is from Fruitland, Idaho and everyone gets a kick out of how hick he is. He was super impressed that I know Josh Foster (shout out to Josh!) because he has a huge farm...or something like that. So good job, Josh.

Our trip to Riga was fast--we were literally there for two hours. We had the time to eat at this Latvian cuisine place that was tasty but mostly just tasted like Lithuanian food to me. It was good though. 

It's kind of cool that I can tell that my Russian is a lot better here than it was in my first two transfers. I'm thinking it's due to the fact that Sister Benson and I only speak Russian outside and I'm suddenly able to memorize things really quickly. The gift of tongues is real, my friends. I know it's also due to the fact that I am working harder than I've ever worked and Narva is teaching me some really valuable lessons. I asked Heavenly Father why he sent me here, because I felt like Narva needed at least five Sister Bensons and none of me. We're pretty much young women's leaders here, so it's a heavier work load than any other areas have for sister missionaries. Working with teenage girls who have it really rough in life is difficult in a way that I never expected it to be, but I have never loved people more or felt more like the Lord has expanded my ability to look beyond myself. Essentially, the Lord wants me to learn how to be selfless here. I've thought about the difference between the Savior and me, and in most situations that I would turn inwards, He always turns outwards. I really like who I'm becoming and the missionary that I'm learning to be. It's sad that it's taken me over six months to finally have this realization, but I thought for the first time this week about how honestly and completely blessed I am to be here of all places, doing what I'm doing. I've probably written that before but I've never felt it as deeply as I do now. Sister Benson and I have been focusing on teaching in every situation that we're in and instead of going "contacting", we go "teaching". It's made the biggest difference for me to focus on my purpose as a missionary to teach. It's made me more consecrated, happier, and in general I'm a lot less critical of myself.

I've thought a lot about the art of prayer this week. Sasha told us that praying is really hard for him because he doesn't want to ask Heavenly Father for blessings that he shouldn't. Honestly, I had the same problem before my mission, but it has been one of the most valuable things I've learned on my mission: how to pray in the name of Jesus Christ. I never really thought about it before but when we learn to pray in the name of Christ--to actively think of Him as our Advocate with the Father--our relationship with God and our Savior becomes a lot more than just a list of things that you're grateful for and things that you need. At least, mine did. Praying to know what to say in my prayers has made all the difference. Praying for the Spirit to guide you in your supplications and questions; praying for the humility to be open and willing to receive whatever answers or instruction that Heavenly Father has to give. Imagining the Savior beside you as you speak with the Father is something that's kind of hard to describe, but I just know that if you do it, your life will be more specifically blessed in the places that you need it to be than before. 

I hope that made sense and didn't just sound like me rambling. But I love you all and I'm so grateful whenever I hear from you.

Love,

Sister Gooch

Week 22: November 25, 2013

Hey there!

Can I just say how much I love Narva? Seriously, this place is magical. Not in the sense that it's pretty (there's a ton of construction and it's actually the grayest place I've ever seen--haven't seen the sun since I got here) but I have never been somewhere like it. The people are awesome and I think they love the sisters especially hard because we're the first ones to come for mannny many years. Sister Janis invited us over this week and we reviewed the Restoration with her because she's a little shaky in her doctrine but she loves to share the gospel. It went really great! The only problem with her out-of-this-world generosity and general vivaciousness is that she does not take no for an answer when it comes to food. I still haven't brought myself to liking dill, and she had prepared dill bread with an uncomfortable amount of margarine on it. Sister Benson ate four so I didn't have to eat any, bless her heart.

This week was busy and kind of crazy. I can't remember if I mentioned the fact that Sister Benson is a sister training leader, but she is. We had to go to Riga because there was a mission leader conference there. I wasn't originally supposed to go all the way to Riga; I was supposed to stay in Tallinn (it's on the way) with the Russian speaking sisters there while Sister Benson traveled with a bunch of elders the rest of the way to Riga, but she forgot her passport so we had to stay overnight in Tallinn. I had happened to pack my passport and so I went with her to Riga the next day since the elders left her and she needed a travel companion, but I was secretly thrilled about that. E. Cook sent up her passport on a bus from Narva to Tallinn and we picked it up and left early the next morning to Riga. I was so pumped because Sister McDiarmid (remember, she was in my MTC district?) and Sister Coombs (my MTC companion) are serving in Riga center and I was able to do exchanges with them. It was extra awesome because Sister Roy was there, too. It's crazy that we were all back together again! So happy. They all seem to be doing really well. I forgot how much fun we have together. Even crazier was the fact that Sister Coombs and I went to teach a less-active, Yana, who is the exact same person that we had role-played teaching in the MTC! Sister Wrigley had known her and to meet her after pretending to teach her a few times was kind of surreal. Especially since it was with Sister Coombs. The lesson went well, considering. We hadn't planned at all before. But Yana is awesome--I got to know her and she's super nice and it made me want to serve in Riga so that I could get to know her and her family more.

The bus rides that we have to take lately are killllller though. We're going to stay in Tallinn tonight and then head to Riga tomorrow because Sister Benson has a visa renewal appointment or something there. It's eight hours to Riga and it just barely works out with our schedule that we can't make it in one day's travel. So that's a bummer. But I love hanging out with Sister Carr and Sister Dalley (the sisters in Tallinn that we stay with). They're a hoot.

Church this week was pretty awesome. We had Sasha, our investigator that I hadn't met until then, show up. Sister Benson had told me that he's probably the coolest person she's ever met, and I didn't really believe her until I met him. But honestly, he's just cool. I don't know how else to describe him. He's 23, really relaxed, smart and super talented at videography and photography. He also has a beard and long, curly brown hair, so that's something. He could only stay for sacrament meeting but he met with us at 4 for a lesson. He's a deep thinker and he's the most sincere person I've met on my mission--he really wants to do what's right and he wants to be close to God. During the lesson he was telling us how he doesn't think he's a very good person basically because he's not perfect. Haha he's not very patient with himself. It was cool because I had read the perfect chapter for him in my personal study that morning--2 Nephi 4. It's where Nephi seems kind of discouraged because of all his weaknesses and the temptations he has that so easily keep him from progressing. I had Sasha read verses 17-19, I think. What really hit me was the line in verse 19, where he's talking about how weak he is and he says, "nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted," or something along those lines. Isn't that what makes the difference in everything that we struggle with? I've studied 1 Nephi a lot for the past couple of months, and I feel like it all boils down to the fact that Nephi knew God's character and his brothers didn't. That's really all that was different about them. Knowing who God is and His attributes is essential to having any kind of hope or faith that we can change and become better.

Here's what I would have told Sasha if my Russian was out of this world:

-He has a much better opinion of you than you have of yourself, and He is not frustrated or impatient with your flaws. He already knows how to fix them, and exactly how long it'll take. He's a lot more realistic than us in that way: we always want our weaknesses to vanish as soon as we start working on them, or in a week, tops. But God isn't interested in temporary fixes--He's setting up your life in such a way that it's going to change your very character through trials and experiences. That takes time, so be patient with yourself.

-Although He is merciful, He will always, always expect you to do what is right over what is easy or even understandable. He knows your potential to be extraordinary (He didn't create you to be anything else) and He knows that you won't get there by being less than what you're capable of. He knows that we can be caught in the deception that we can excuse ourselves of excellence because life is hard and busy, but He has given us more than enough sources to look to (scriptures, General Conference, prayer, church, other awesome people) for us to overcome it. 

But alas, my Russian only allowed for me to say, "I can see that you're a really good person. God knows you perfectly and He will help you become better every day." 

Bummer, huh?

Anywho, it's Thanksgiving this week! Sister Benson and I have delegated responsibilities to the rest of our district (we only have elders, so I'm guessing that we'll end up doing the bulk of the work) and we're going to eat as a district in the church. Sister Benson is teaching me how to cook and I've already mentioned this but she's the greatest. We have a lot of fun together and we teach together pretty well.

I'm getting pumped for Christmas--there are decorations in the Rimi that we get groceries at. I may or may not buy a mini Christmas tree next week. And by that, I mean that I will absolutely be buying it. It's started snowing for the past two days, so that's great.

Narva is a very challenging area (I guess it's mostly because we're dealing with teenagers and essentially zero priesthood) but I haven't ever felt more at home anywhere else. It's the most unique city in the mission because its challenges are unlike any other, but I love it with my whole heart. Life is good. Thank you so much for those of you who have been praying for me, writing me, or any other form or support. I love you all and hope you have a lovely week!

Love,

Sister Gooch

P.S. Thank you so much for sending the package!

Week 21: November 18, 2013-Estonia

Heeey everyone!

So let's just talk about the fact that Estonia is BUTT COLD. Haha I'm in Narva, this tiny town four hours (ish) away from Tallinn. Actually, it borders Russia. If you have a decent arm, it's a stone's throw away. Sadly, I don't, but I've heard of missionaries who've done it so that's cool for them.

Saying goodbye to Vilnius was bitter-sweet. Nobody was more surprised about transfers than yours truly--but mostly I was pumped. We went to Ludmila's right after we found out and she made us eclairs that were phemomenal, kak abuichna. It was a little bit sad since she's like my Russian babushka, but I was pretty pumped about Narva anyway. 

I also got to say goodbye to Alvidas, which was providential and one of the greatest moments of my mission. He took my hand and looked me in the eyes (as only dear, soul-melting Alvidas can) and told me to listen to my heart, don't stop believing, and a bunch of other stuff that Journey sings about. I told him thanks for how much he's helped me and before I could even finish my sentence he was hugging me. Haha show me a sister missionary who wouldn't hug Alvidas back and I'll show you someone without a heart.

We also got to do one last west side excursion with Elder Packham and Elder Hall. I will for sure miss working with them because they're fuuuuun. We went to a Russian guy's door who they called Boxer Guy because he was only wearing boxers when he answered the door the first time they went. He answered; told us he was busy but would ABSOLUTELY call us, which means he will never call us. But it was all good because it gave us the excuse to hang out with the elders one last time.

And oh! The sweetest miracle of them all: Sister Weaver and I brought flowers to Maria, our babushka friend! We finally were able to write her a cute little note and deliver it. I told her I was going to Narva (kinda sounds like larva, doesn't it?) and got to say goodbye. Babushka kisses are the best. One on each cheek, along with a cute little hug. She's adorable.

Packing wasn't too bad, but the worst part was 13 hours on a bus. I took a bus to Riga, then another bus to Tallinn, and then another to Narva: all of them approximately four hours long. Cool thing about the ride to Tallinn: my traveling companion was Sister Karr, who's serving in Tallinn. We traveled with two other elders and about an hour into the trip, a big guy came to the back where we were sitting and said, "I thought I heard someone speaking English!" Apparently he's from Louisiana and his name is Mark. He and his wife, Terry, travel Eastern Europe and are kind of like musical missionaries for the Southern Baptist church. He was super nice and told us how cool he thinks it is that we're setting aside 19-24 months of our lives to talk about Christ. Terry came and talked to us too, and eventually it got to the point where we discussed the differences in our beliefs. They "exhorted" us to stick to the Bible, which was well-intentioned. There was a few moments where I really felt like the Spirit was working through me. I was able to tell them about the verse in the Bible that says, "by their fruits ye shall know them" and testify about the fact that good and only good things have come from my testimony and studying of the Book of Mormon. I guess I don't really get why someone who holds God's word to be of such import would be so unwilling to learn more about Him. I had a hard time explaining why the Book of Mormon is necessary, so that's sort of my bad.

Anyways, my new companion is Sister Benson. When it was my second day in Riga and we were all lined up in front of the trainers and waiting to be told who was training us, I had seen her and immediately I thought, "I wanna serve with her." She was also Sister Weaver's companion just before I was and honestly, she's such an awesome missionary/human being in general. She's a food science major and she loves to cook, so I've been eating like a queen ever since I got to Narva. Seriously, I'm so lucky. Haha I sound like I'm talking about my life partner. But she's been out for over a year and she's super nice and has a talent for loving people in exactly the way that they need it. Here in Narva, it pretty much couldn't get more opposite from Vilnius. The branch is tiny (approximately 20 people, but less actually attend) and the majority are young girls. Sister Benson is just amazing because she's like an older sister to these girls and we're working on getting them started with personal progress/following For the Strength of Youth. Sister Benson opened Narva for sisters the transfer that I got here, and the church is only ten years old here. There's one priesthood holder besides the senior missionary branch president, President Dolgov (from Russia) and the other four elders who are here (Cook, Rawlings, Hampton, Allred). The Dolgovi came last transfer and before then, a normal elder had always been branch president. 

As you can imagine, things are kind of crazy. I'm so grateful to serve in places like this and to see how some people do so much for the branch where I know most people in the world wouldn't be willing to pull as much weight as they do. It's made me realize that I can't just be the kind of member who doesn't attend activities or do my visiting teaching when I get home. God gave us the personality traits and talents that we have for a lot of reasons, and I know that one of them is to strengthen and lift where we stand. It's sad to think that lots of members think they don't fit in or that their talents aren't needed in their wards/stakes/branches. I wish everyone could just realize that their diversity of talents and opinions is needed and welcomed in the church.  The branch is struggling and my first Sunday here was theeee most insane thing I've ever experienced. 

Somehow there wasn't a lesson planned for Relief Society so what ended up happening was that the eight people there just talked about the problems that they have. I only tell you this story because it's literally one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed. At one point, someone said something offensive to Katja, an 18-yr old, and she started crying. There's this woman, Sister Janis (Ya-nees), who is suuuuuper loving and energetic and sort of crazy in a lovely way. She has an extremely large chest and she loves to hug, which can be smothering, as you can imagine. As soon as Katja started crying, Sister Janis jumped up and ran over to her. Now imagine this, if you can: Katja's face is crushed to Sister Janis' chest as S. Janis strokes her hair and frantically repeats over and over, "Everything is good, Katja! Have peace! Glory to God! Hallelujah!" Hahahaha I die just typing it. She's one of the greatest people I've met. 

Quick funny story about visiting a member last night: Svyeta has a really annoying and mean cat and as soon as we sat down, the stupid thing sat right on my lap. What is it with me and animals on my mission?! It's like they know how much I despise them and they want to rub their grubby little bodies on me. Haha life is good.

The branch is full of really amazing people, and even though it's totally not what I'm used to, I love it here. It's definitely culture shock all over again, but the great thing about that is that the food/dairy here is sooooo good. Part of that might have to do with the fact that Sister Benson always makes really good stuff (we're having curry this week!) but I think in general the food is just great. And by the way, I eat mushrooms, tomatoes, and onions now. I'm all growed up.

We had zone conference in Tallinn on Saturday, and that was really cool because Elder Bennett from the Area Seventy came. He talked a lot about consecration, which is a subject that you would think I'd understand by now but I don't. Haha that's apparent by the fact that I learn something new every time. He was talking about the fact that we tend to think that the major part of the conversion process is over in our investigators once they start living the commandments, like paying tithing and obeying the word of wisdom. That's the lower tier of obedience, and that brings blessings and peace for sure, but it doesn't necessarily bring true happiness. What brings happiness is giving yourself over to the Lord: trusting in Him instead of what you think is best for yourself; being able to let go of the things that you think or are pretty sure will make you happy, and doing instead what you know the Lord would want for you. It's kind of a hard concept to grasp because I think it's easy to think, "I know exactly what makes me happy so why wouldn't I do it?" I guess the difference is in making decisions based on the happiness that lasts; choosing to do things that may not be as pleasant or desirable for us now but that will ultimately bring us true satisfaction and joy. 

I'm sorry this is so short--blame it on the fact that I've been emailing Ash back and forth this whole time. Haha I love you all and I pray for your specifically and individually every day. 

Love,

Sister Gooch

Week 20: November 11, 2013

Heyyoo!

Just so you know, there's a deaf Lithuanian lady screaming into Skype next to me so I am semi-incapable of writing anything that's comprehensible. So sorry, haha.

It's been a lovely week. Let's start off with exchanges.

Sister Lubberink (she's Dutch, so that's fun) came with Sister Ramos from Imanta, Latvia to do an exchange. Sister Ramos had been in Klaipeda but got emergency transferred to Imanta. Anyways, I went with Sister Lubberink for the day. She's walking sunshine, pretty much. Seriously, she's the nicest person ever and her English is great, so there wasn't any problems with communication. It was actually really cool for me to see her throughout the day as she talked to tons of people because she struggles pretty hard with Russian. She goes home after this transfer and she still has a hard time with basic stuff that I struggle with too. But what's awesome about her is that she doesn't even need to be that good at Russian because she's such a happy person that you can tell people genuinely love talking to her. Funny story that happened: there's this pedestrian bridge that we live by where, when you walk across it, you can see the bus stop that you're walking to because it's across the street. I don't really know how to put that into words. Anywho, we saw the other sisters waiting at the stop as we were walking across the bridge and we saw that they were talking to a guy and then they got on a bus and as we were walking to the bench that they had just left, the guy passed us. He had a Book of Mormon in his hand so Sister Lubberink said hi and asked him if he was gonna read it. It was pretty clear from how he smelled that he was drunk, but also there was something about the way he was acting that told us he was also on some pretty hardcore drugs. Sister Lubberink testified of the Book of Mormon because she's great and then he asked us where we were from and I told him America. For some reason that made him so happy. Only Emma Brague, Thyme, and Lauren Sasine will understand this, but he made the little sigh and grin that the king in the Esther movie made when she said that her heart was his. Haha so at that point, he just went for a hug and I froze. I wasn't trained for moments like that so I just patted his back! So funny and extremely awkward. Is it bad that I regret nothing? Just kidding. Kind of.

We also got to go to Kaunas for district conference on Saturday and Sunday! Kaunas is the most nationalistic Lithuanian area, which essentially means that they don't take very kindly to Russian speakers. We definitely saw that on Saturday when we went to the Maxima (grocery store) and asked for something in English and the lady was like, "Good morning, this is Lithuania, not America. You need to learn how to speak Lithuanian." <---it was a lot scarier and mean than that looks. Haha but it was super fun as well. A few members from all the different branches in Lithuania came and it was fun meeting them. There's a bunch of really cool members that I'm sad I won't be able to serve with because they are in the cities that Russian speakers don't go to. One lady stopped me when I was walking out and asked me where I'm from. I told her Idaho and she was like, "Really? You look like you're from somewhere in Europe." So there's that. She also said something really nice! She kind of tilted her head and then said, "I like you. You look like a really pleasant person." I love Lithuanians and their honesty most of the time. 

Speaking of which, here's a random fact: Lithuanian doesn't have any curse words, so they just attack your character or physical appearance. Haha it's terrifying. Or they just call you Polish, which is rascist and horrible but also slightly humorous to me. But mostly awful.

I also had an interview with President Boswell that made me 99% sure that I'm staying in Vilnius. He said that my area will be needing the skill set that I'm learning to cultivate in the very near future...so, I mean, that's pretty clear. Haha Sister Weaver thinks she's going to Klaipeda.

Last week's FHE was so funny. Genadi and Svyetlana and Karl were the only people who came but it was the best. We played mafia, and Karl is a hoot in pretty much any situation you put him in. Genadi is also hilarious--I wish I could explain to you how funny it was to play games with them but it just kind of gets lost in translation. I don't know how to tell funny stories that happen in Russian in English, if you get what I'm saying.
My gosh my brain is just exploding with this lady screaming warbled
Lithuanian in my ear, haha I'm sorry. I feel like this whole email is illiterate.

Anyways, my interview with President Boswell was a good learning experience. We were talking about our potential as missionaries, and more broadly about our potential as people in general. I had told him that I've heard so many missionaries who've been out for a long time or who were preparing to go home say that they felt like they came on their missions to do simple things like make peoples' days by smiling at them or having a nice conversation. They always say it like it's their calling not to baptize but to just make a good name for the Church. I asked President Boswell how to balance that attitude with the idea that we're supposed to focus and put all of our energy into baptisms and making sure that we get them. I guess it's been a grey area for me because it always seemed insincere to focus on getting people baptized rather than just making sure that we help them change their lives. But what he said was the perfect answer for me. He told me that Satan's way of getting to followers of Christ is by convincing them that they are only here to do good; that they don't need to strive for the extraordinary. He is so good at getting us comfortable with where we're at and making us think that it's enough to just be good. I'm not saying this in a discouraging way--I hope it doesn't come off like that. I'm just saying that there are two perspectives: One is Heavenly Fathers; that we are not only capable of great things but that we need to be actively striving to become the absolute best possible version of ourselves. The other is Satan's; that progression can stop or slow down when we feel that we are making positive changes. That's just stupid, quite frankly. Why shouldn't we try to develop all of the gifts that we were born with? If I was born a nice person, why wouldn't I strive to develop the gift to inspire kindness in others? We can always, always, alwaysexpand on the goodness in us. That's what's kind of fun about us as eternal beings--there's no end to our potential for greatness! So get started. Pray to know how you can strengthen your gifts as well as your weaknesses. 

Anyways, I hope that you're all doing great. Sorry this is a short one. Hopefully I have lots of exciting news for my next email about where I'm going, but probs not. Haha LOVE YOU!

-Sister Gooch

Week 19: November 4, 2013

Hey loved ones!

So last Monday we carved pumpkins for FHE and let me tell you--it's definitely going down as one of my favorite mission memories. Ludmila told Elder Erekson to carve her a scary pumpkin (I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but E. Erekson is Ludmila's favorite. He's like...he's like a human puppy. No joke, the kid didn't learn swear words until high school, soooo that's pretty much him in a nutshell). He really struggles with Russian (well, I guess not much more than I do; he's only a transfer ahead of me) so he didn't understand her request. So he carved Jesus' face. I can't even express how incredible Ludmila's reaction was. She kept saying, "This is a nightmare! I asked for a scary pumpkin and I get Jesus! What am I supposed to do, pray to it?" Hahaha she was being her normal sassy self but it was just great because Elder Erekson couldn't understand why she was freaking out and he just kept on a'carving. 

Lena, another member, was also really funny to watch because she was just hacking the pumpkin to pieces and making animalistic noises because it made her 6 yr old son Mindaugas crack up. We kind of combined the activity with the Lithuanian branch as well so it was extra crazy up in there. I loved it.

My pumpkin that Elder Bolingbrooke and I worked on together got a lot of flack because it didn't have a nose and only one tooth--but like whatever! The noses are ugly anyways. Haha I'm not bitter.

Oh, and real quick before I forget, Mike: the hymn Israel, Israel God is Calling sounds like it should be redone by Utah Phillips, am I right? I don't know, use your imagination. And also can someone send me the definition of abrogation? I read it in Jesus the Christ and it's driving me nuuuts.

Anyways, another cool thing from this past week was that we called Eglė. We had been hesitant to because she said she didn't want contact with us and was really rude about it, but we called her basically because President Boswell said to. Haha anyway, she ended up being super nice and explained that she had read up to the point where Nephi decapitates Laban and that she just couldn't believe that God would command Nephi to kill someone. Which is totally understandable! That sounds crazy if you don't look closely at the whole process and how Nephi absolutely didn't want to do it either, but that God had a greater purpose in mind. She agreed to meet with us again and to read further, so that pretty much made my whole life, if we're being dramatic here.

Sister Weaver and I had lots of moments of realization in the past week. We've been frustrated with how we teach--basically it comes down to the fact that I haven't been pulling my weight. I just assumed that I wasn't capable of taking the lead in lessons and stuff because I have such a small vocab and my grasp on the grammar is pretty lacking. 

So here's what it came down to: Sister Weaver told me in a comp inventory how stressed she is and how she needs me to step up, essentially. I felt horrible because I guess that I hadn't thought too deeply about how much responsibility is on her shoulders as a trainer, so I decided to take the lead in the next lesson we taught with Natalija. And guess what! I'm capable. Haha it's sad that it took me so long to realize it, but I'm totally capable of leading a discussion and asking thought provoking questions, even though it's obviously in really butchered Russian. I invited Natalija to baptism, which also felt good because we have been feeling prompted to do so but it never quite happened. She said no, but that's besides the point. Haha she's still working on receiving an answer, but I already knew that. I mostly invited her because for some reason, when you wait for a long time to ask someone to prepare to be baptized, they just stop progressing. It's a lesson I'm still trying to grasp.

We had one day where we had a lot of contacting time but for some reason nobody was home and the streets were deserted and a lot of businesses were closed down. We figured out that it was a Lithuanian holiday where they go to the cemetery and put flowers on their loved ones graves and cry. Haha it's depressing but there were tons of flowers everywhere, which was pleasant.

We had a magical day (I use that adjective because I'm not messing around--it was lovely) on Saturday because we went to Trakai to teach the 8 yr old, Alena, again. We brought E. Erekson and E. Bolingbrooke because there's this rule that we have to have another person with us if it's just a father and the kids. Dima, the dad, was the only one that was for sure going to be home with Alena so we had to bring someone with us and it just so happened that the elders had a blank day. Christina, the mom, ended up being there but it was still fun to have the elders come with us. Trakai is kind of an all-day event because the bus ride there is forty minutes, then it takes forty minutes to walk to the Elanskaya family's house, and then we have to leave early so we can catch our bus back to Vilnius. But the fun thing is that Trakai is gorgeous and it's always fun to have lessons with Alena because we just play games with her. This time we blindfolded Alena and hid a piece of candy in the room, then told her to find it. Obviously she couldn't, which is supposed to symbolize the fact that it's hard to navigate your way through life without the Holy Ghost's guidance. Then we had E. Bolingbrooke be the Holy Ghost and tell her where to go, so finding the candy was not only easier but possible. Her cousin, Kamelia, was there and they were both laughing so hard when Elder Erekson put the blindfold on and Alena played the Holy Ghost. Kamelia's the same age as Alena and they're both really funny little Russian girls. I took a picture with them that just kills me because Kamelia is doing the classic Russian poker face. They had watched Harry Potter (Garry Potter, as they pronounce it) a few days previous and they had sticks that they pretended were wands. They were casting spells on us and screaming, "Avada kadaga!" haha it was adorable. The Russian version of spells are funnier. If we can pick highlights of our lives to rewatch in heaven, then that lesson is for sure going to be one of mine. 

Elder Erekson said the closing prayer and here's a direct translation of one of the things he said: "We are grateful that we can be eating the scriptures." Haha I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S BEEN DUPED BY THAT VERB.

Oh, and another funny moment of my week happened before we had a lesson with Ludmila. We were a little early to the appointment so we decided to contact by Ludmila's. Sister Weaver dared me to talk to this old man with a cane who looked a little sketchy to me but, like, what was I gonna do? Be a pansy? So I stopped him and he was drunk, of course. Haha I'm still not the best at discerning when people are but I'm blaming this one on Sister Weaver. He did the classic Russian monologue for like fifteen minutes before we were able to say, "We gotta go but it was nice to meet you." He turned to me specifically and asked me something, gesturing to my hand. I thought that he was going to shake it, so I held mine out and he took it but just before he brought it up to his lips Sister Weaver told me that he had asked if he could kiss my hand. My reaction was painfully awkward because I ripped my hand away from him and was like, "I'm not allowed!" Haha I told Sister Weaver that I was never going to let it happen to me and she said good luck because it's happened to her dozens of times. I don't know what it is about drunk men and wanting to kiss your hand but I just wanna go as long as possible without becoming a victim to it.

Ah! I also remembered just now that we found out where our bab Maria lives! We plan to visit her and give her all of the gifts in the world because she's the sweetest person on earth. Seriously, I love her to death. We also saw Vechaslava on the way home and she makes life here 1,000 times better. As Sister Weaver so eloquently and sensitively says, "I'd slit my throat if babushki weren't in these countries." Terrible, but they really do make up for the lack of sunshine that we're getting. Speaking of which, it gets dark around 5 now. 

Next week we find out transfers, which is a little something I'd like to talk about for a sec. Before my mission, I had thought that transfers were no big deal, but let me tell you: they are intense! Haha maybe it's just because it's early in my mission and being paired with someone who came out with me is really likely, so I'm anxious to hear where I'm going/who I'll be with. It's funny because Sister Weaver made transfer brackets for the Russian sisters. She's intense about this too, which is probably where I get it from, haha. We just know that the Russian sisters have to move around a lot because six of us are finishing training and President Boswell likes to split up trainers from their trainees after two transfers. A city also has to close, and it's rumored to be Imanta, Latvia for Russian sisters because two sisters are going home but nobody is replacing them. So gah! I guess you'll hear in two weeks where I'm at because we find out transfers the day after I email you next week.

I realized recently that I haven't really said thanks to anyone yet, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone for writing me, praying for me, or any other form of support. I have especially felt your prayers this past week and you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear from y'all. I'm glad that Halloween was fun--we taught English and talked about holidays. Roman, the creepy guy, actually did something hilarious. We told them how trick-or-treating in America works and Roman left the room for a little and came bursting through the door yelling in a very thick Russian accent, "Holiday!" and handed out chocolates filled with vodka. Hahaha he was trying to imitate trick-or-treating but didn't quite get it right. Also, I think he's a little whack in the head but I was laughing so hard I was crying.

I really love my life right now. I'm obviously struggling with a lot of things but I can already tell that some of my happiest memories have been here in Lithuania. I know it's because missions require daily sacrifices, but the more that I've sacrificed, the more I've noticed that my capability to love whom and where I'm serving has grown exponentially stronger. I guess it's the same principle in life--parents love their children beyond description and it's because of the sacrifices that they make for them. I heard a quote in the MTC that has stuck with me and I think about it a lot: "Your mission will always be home to you." That definitely didn't feel true for most of these first two transfers that I've served, but I'm starting to see it. I love the fact that I'm here with these people and I'm so blessed to start to see a glimpse of the incredible things Heavenly Father has in store for me and for His children in general.

I hope that you all have a lovely week. Thanks for making my life so good.

Love you!

-Sister Gooch

Week 18: October 28, 2013

Hey friends!

This week was pretty great. We went to Klaipeda (a town 4 hours away) for exchanges with our sister training leader, S. Ramos. I did the exchange with her and it was seriously so fun. First of all, Klaipeda is exactly what I had imagined Lithuania to be like. The city is all old and pretty with cool architecture and cobblestone. It was a lot of fun because Sister Ramos and I get along swimmingly. She's from New York and I love hearing about her life and all of the things that she's learned, because it hasn't always been easy for her. She's the bomb. 

There's a senior couple there, the Yaskus', and until I met them I didn't realize how rad senior couples are and how sorely they're needed. They fed us lunch (and introduced me to this aloe drink that I'm sort of obsessed with now) and their apartment smelled like America! I can't really explain to you how incredibly comforting and lovely that was.

Moral of the story: If you're a senior couple and you're able to serve a mission, YOU MUST! Seriously, Vilnius would be doing a lot better, branch-wise, if there was a senior couple to run FHE or something.

Anywho, a couple of other fun things happened this week, too. We were invited to dinner with Elder Erekson and Elder Bolingbrooke at Tatyana Orlova's (previous member of the relief society presidency in the branch and just all-around solid lady). She's a classic Soviet woman because she didn't let the elders help make dinner while she had us help chop stuff. First time I've eaten raw tomatoes in, like, ever! Not too bad. Just another thing that I'm definitely going to be used to by the end of my mission. She made us some really good chicken cutlets and a salad, plus tea, of course. She has this little Yorkshire terrier whose guts I hate but it was pretty much on my lap the whole time during dinner. I literally threw it off of my lap like five times but there just came a point where it wasn't worth fighting anymore. Haha and also, Sister Weaver is more afraid of dogs than I am, which I just find hilarious. 

We also had dinner with Ludmila and all of my district, plus Alvidas. She made the same mushroom soup that I told you about a while ago, and then these huuuuge Khazakstanian meat pastry things. Plus this chocolate cake with cherries and cream in the middle and tea. The meat pastry was brutal because it had the consistency of a potsticker (it's steamed or something) and it's packed with meat and grease. I felt a little more prepared this time--I didn't touch my strawberry rhubarb tea until I had finished everything else--but I still felt a little bit like death. It always tastes pretty good, though. I mean, come on. It's Ludmila we're talking about here.

She's the world's #1 hostess because she did magic tricks and made us play games. Haha she's such a lovely person. You would love her.

Elder McClure (new zone leader, he came from Samara, Russia mission because he had visa problems and had to be sent here) said that he would finish reading the Book of Mormon in Russian before me and I sort of destroyed the fool. Haha we were challenged to finish it within our first two transfers and I finished three weeks early, so yay!

And speaking of Elder McClure, funny thing happened yesterday at church. I sat by Alena Elanskaya (8 yr old that we're preparing for baptism; lives in Trekai by the castle) and she drew a picture of a princess, then underneath she labeled her "Gooch". Haha so cute. And then she drew a picture of a girl with a dress on and labeled it "McClure" because he was sitting behind us and looking over her shoulder to see what she was drawing. Hahaha so funny. She thought it was hilarious.

So yeah, I'm doing well. Let's be real, though: missions are really hard, and mine is no exception. It's definitely the hardest thing I've ever done but I also feel like I'm surrounded with some of the most special people on earth and I'm learning more than I ever could have, had I not decided to come here. But I've noticed that my hardest days are always the ones when I'm counting my frustrations rather than my blessings. The most valuable thing I think I've learned so far is just basically what I was saying last week: who God is.
Here's what I know about Him: 

-He is not impatient. I always seem to project my characteristics onto Him. For example, I might feel like He isn't proud of me for the imperfections that I have and it might make me feel unworthy to ask for His help, but that's what's so rad about Heavenly Father. We may be impatient, but He is not. He has a perfect understanding of our capabilities and constraints. He only asks that you keep Him in the loop--pray; involve Him in your decisions and tell Him how you're feeling. It's a lot easier for Him to help you when you're seeking for His advice.

-He doesn't ask us to be something we're not. From the beginning, He has worked with and through His flawed children. He doesn't expect us to be perfect in order to be His. He only asks for us to develop the skills and talents that we were blessed with, and He helps us let go of the vices that we don't know how to get rid of. Which leads me to the next thing...

-The Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ, is more powerful that I can even comprehend. Do you reallze that He can change our very nature? He can take the impulse that we have to be selfish and exchange it for the impulse to see things from His perspective. I can't imagine how much happier we'd be--and how much more of a blessing we'd be to those around us--if we just learned how to correctly apply the Atonement in our lives.

-He didn't give us repentance to punish us. In fact, it's the furthest thing from punishment that I can think of. Real punishment would be if He had just expected us to live without hope of being able to let go of all the guilt that we accumulate from our imperfect lives. He gave us repentance because it's the only thing that we have in this life that's going to lead to lasting happiness in the life after this.

-He's hasn't ever and won't ever do anything that isn't for our ultimate happiness. For real. It's just not who He is. He has a purpose for everything, whether we can understand it or not. I sometimes feel like my life would be so much less stressful and negative if I could fully grasp this concept. He doesn't give us this gospel and this church just because it's something that helps our lives today. I mean, that is part of the reason, but He has greater purposes. He's preparing us as individuals and us as families to have the greatest amount of happiness that we're capable of obtaining. Which I think is pretty cool of Him.

I don't have too much time left but it helps me to write you about this, so the sermon's gonna continue next week, haha. I really hope that you all realize how lucky you are to have the knowledge that you do about God. So many people don't, and their lives are a lot harder because of it. I also hope that you don't act ashamed of it--that you're sharing it. Not because you're supposed to, but because you recognize the worth of the gift that you have.

I love you all tons! Somebody better watch Hocus Pocus for me because y'all know that's what I'd be doing if I were with you.

-Sister Gooch

Week 17: October 21, 2013

What what what uuuup?

Let's just start with the fact that it's starting to get butttt cold here. We're gonna hit up a bunch of Humana's (thrift stores) today so I can get warmer skirts. I found an old skirt in the apartment that was at least five sizes too big but I figured it would be warmer than the ones I have, so I wore it to church. I can't go a single Sunday without being yelled at for my clothes--this time Ludmila was appalled with how gigantic it was. Haha she grabbed me by the waist and started trying to fix it and make my belt tighter--I felt like a five year old. She's so funny.

Last Monday we finally started branch family home evening! It wasn't planned out very well--none of the elders called the members in their area, so let's blame it on them. Haha there was Ludmila, Karl (have I mentioned him? If not, he's theeee funniest person I know. He's mildly handicapped and wears sunglasses and leather jackets inside--he's hard to explain but just know that he's smooth), Vlad (Ukrainian guy who was only here for a week), Alvidas, Lena (terrifying member who'salso hilarious), and all of us Russian speaking missionaries. We had a spiritual thought at the beginning and then played signs. It took forever to explain to them but it was so worth it. I'm pretty sure I haven't laughed so hard in a while. Whenever someone would pass the sign to Karl, he would take forever to receive it and just as long to pass it. I wish y'all could see and hear the venom in Lena's voice when she would whisper, "PASS IT, KARL!" Karl just sat there, reclined in his seat with his eyes half open/half closed and a crooked smile that looked so slick. Haha it was better than words can express.

Ludmila and Lena were freaking out at the beginning because not that many people showed up, and Ludmila kept saying that she's never coming again and how it was just terrible. But let's all keep in mind the fact that she's a classic Russian woman and, therefore, a drama queen. Haha she was telling the elders how awful it was and how she had other plans that she was going to do (which she totally didn't) and I said, "You are sassy today, Ludmila!" I mostly said that because I had learned the word for sassy that day and wanted to use it. Haha her face was priceless. She was like, "Do you know what that word means?" And she asked Elder McClure if I knew, and he said yes, and she got all huffy and hilarious and was like, "You'll answer for that." And then all this week she has been joking about how rude it was but I know she loved it.

She's funny too because this Sunday, she went around to every member of the branch and told them that they had to come this Monday. I overheard her telling Felix about it and she was like, "It was so much fun--you have to come." I can't wait for it to happen again tonight!

Another funny story happened last week on a night when we were knocking in Arkitektu again. And I hope you realize that when I say knocking, I don't mean houses. We go to huge apartment buildings and start at the top, then work our way down. Anywho, we were in this one at the very top and two Polish guys who were drunk answered. We talked with them for a little bit but one was somewhat creepy--he kept winking, which is never comfortable, haha--and so we ended the conversation pretty quick. They weren't interested anyway.
So then we go to a completely different apartment building and we had made our way almost to the bottom when we knock on a door and the same creepy drunk guy answered. I want you to picture this guy coming out of the door, closing it behind him, and standing in front of us while winking periodically and just staring in silence. Haha we asked him if he lived there and he said, "No, I live...elsewhere..." and then that's when we awkwardly waved goodbye. "We'll be going now..." Haha what were the chances?

Sad update on Galena: we brought Alvidas with us again but Galena has just gotten to the point where she doesn't listen toanything we say. It's a bummer because she seemed to be doing really well for a while, but it's impossible to help someone change their life if they don't want it.

I will say, though, that Alvidas was really funny on that lesson. He started telling her about his visions and we were like, "Ooookay, that's not usually how it works though."

I've been thinking a lot about how interesting Lithuania is lately. I'm starting to be able to tell the difference between how Lithuanians look/dress and how Russians do. Lithuanians are a lot less loud and argumentative. Haha Relief Society is always a blast because the babushki just argue the whole time. I love it.

I think I've told you about Vechaslava, my babushka friend, who is the tiniest human being ever. We see her from a distance as we're walking towards each other and I expect her to get bigger as she gets closer but she never does! Haha she's so funny and classic Russian. Today we saw her after grocery shopping and she was like, "You eat every day? I don't. I just walk outside and let the air fill me up." We kind of laughed but she didn't even crack a smile the whole time. Then she was like, "I'm joking. Have a good day." Haha that probably doesn't sound very funny but I loved it.

We have been having really good lessons with Ludmila lately. Since she was only just baptized in July, we still meet with her once a week. This last time we talked with her about the fact that we have to have faith enough to live a principle or commandment before we can receive a testimony or witness that it's true, or that it's what will make us happy. She really struggles with that-- she kept saying, "How can I have faith in something before I see that it's good for me? I want to know why before I act." I can definitely see how it's a hard concept to grasp, but I think that looking a little closer at who our Heavenly Father is makes it easier. If we understand that because God loves us; because he knows us perfectly, He knows exactly what will make us happy in this life. Commandments are pretty much an excuse for Him to give us more blessings than He would have been able to before. He works on the principle that if we obey His commandments, then we are entitled to blessings. If He is honestly the one who knows us best and has our best interest in mind, then He would never give us a commandment that wasn't going to make us happier than before if we choose to follow it. All of his energy goes into helping us overcome our weaknesses, and when we show him that we have faith before the miracle, then He is more than willing to help us out even more than He could before.
I'm sorry, I feel like my logic is jumbled and complicated, but it's just something that I think is really interesting to think about.

Anywho, I love you all a lot and can't wait to see pictures of Ashton, Riv, Yvey, and everyone else (here's lookin' at you, Beary J. Blige) in their costumes. Haha have a great week!

-Sister Gooch

Week 16: October 14, 2013

Heeey everyone!

This week was good. It makes me a little sad that people don't celebrate Halloween here and that we don't make things like caramel apples or carved pumpkins but it's whatevs because autumn is 2385345 times prettier! That's being dramatic but for real, the colors are a lot more vivid than they are on our side of the States, at least.

The weather has been pretty good here but I can't tell you how many times I've been chewed out by babushki who tell me I'm practically naked because my clothes are more appropriate for summer. Haha there's nothing I can really do about that in the next few weeks because our preparation days are taken up by emailing, grocery shopping, and watching Conference one session at a time.
We watched the Saturday morning session last week, which I loved. Ulisses Soares' talk about how to cultivate meekness was so good! "Because of the Atonement, we have the ability to change our spiritual character." I know I've talked about this before, but I feel like it's in our nature to think that we were born a certain way and there's not much that we can do to ultimately change. That's just my favorite thing about the church: we are not only told that we can change, but we're given the tools to do so. The more we understand about the Atonement, the better we can use it. 

We watched all of the sessions in Russian on Saturday and Sunday with the branch, which was just brain melting. Haha here's my thought process during Conference: "......forgiveness....something about the Atonement...power or strength? Ehh I don't know....I promise that...welp, I might as well just read the Книга Мормона." It's painful. Haha but thankfully we watched the Sunday afternoon session in English with Samuel, a Nigerian member who goes to the Lithuanian branch. Plus some of the members just talk the whole time so it was easier to focus. I loved Russell M. Nelson's talk! He spoke more about how we can change our very character through the Atonement. It was a cool promise that if we consciously think of our bodies as temples, then the decisions that we make with this in mind will determine our destiny. I also loved how he said not one of us can stop being a child of God; that we're eternal beings and that eagerly, earnestly, and exactly obedient to the commandments is the only way to feel true liberation and joy. 

When we were waiting for a bus after Conference, this guy in his late 20's came up to us and just started going off in the most random English I have ever heard mixed together with a bunch of profanity. The only thing I understood was that he kept quoting Breaking Bad, which I thought was hilarious. He was obviously on drugs, so we got in at the opposite end of the bus from him. 

Jared, you'll also be happy to know that I tried a duner/kebab/shwarma thing. I liked it, but I don't really understand what the rave is all about. Then again, I got it at a fancier place and it wasn't like a street vendor because all of the street vendors are rumored to sell dog meat...so I don't know if that's ever gon' happen.

We went to Ludmila's twice this week, which is always pleasant. It was cute because she had tried to give me her apple pie recipe but it was really hard to understand so she made us watch while she made it and write down a more accurate version of the recipe. She's so funny. We came back the next day with Svyeta, a member, and ate the pie while teaching her about family history. 

Lately we have had just an hour or so to go finding each night and that doesn't leave us with many places to go because buses take so much time out of our proselyting time, so we went to Arkitektu (a place two bus stops away from us). Almost every night this week we have ended up walking babushki home because they are so nice and they love to talk about God. None of them have been the most interested but they're the most adorable people and they could basically talk all night if you didn't cut off the conversation. 

Anyways, we stopped this one babushka and she was hilarious. At the very beginning of our conversation, she pointed to me and said, "You're a very kind girl," and then she pointed to Sister Weaver and said, "but this one's more sneaky." Haha she went on to tell us that she has psychic powers. She said that my life is going to be very hard because I am so innocent and sweet and I'll just endure my trials in life because I'm not sassy and Sister Weaver's will be easy because she can stand up for what she wants and all that. I was thinking, "Orrrrrr I don't speak Russian very well so I just nod and smile at times that I deem appropriate (85% of the time)." I don't care what she says: I'm sassy!

At one point she took out her phone and was like, "Look at this power I have." She put the phone in her palm and then slapped it with her other hand and the hand that slapped it had the phone stuck to it. It's hard to explain but just imagine her holding her phone in her palm with her hand straight while staring at us blankly. It was one of those moments that I thought, "Is this really happening right now? Am I really in Lithuania, staring at a babushka holding up a phone in her hand and talking about her psychic powers?" Haha it was so funny.

The next day we went to Barbara's apartment with Elder Erekson and Bolingbrooke since she's a member. You should know that it's pretty much customary to be given tea at the very least when you go to someone's house, but Barbara gave us walnuts to crack open and some really good apples. They were really good. Anyway, we were talking later on in the lesson and somehow Barbara gets on the subject of natural milk. Nobody but S. Weaver understood what she was talking about but Barbara asked us if we wanted to try it. Elder Bolingbrooke said sure so she brought some out for the elders and Sister Weaver has a really hard time saying no, so she said yes. Barbara asked me but I figured it was better to say no than to have to hand her a cup full of untouched milk and I've noticed that they don't really get offended, so eh. But while she went to get Sister Weaver a cup, Elder Erekson told us that it tasted exactly how cows smell. A direct quote: "It's what I would imagine udders to taste like." The best part about it was that Barbara gave Sister Weaver her milk and just stood there, watching her and waiting for her to finish it. Hahaha I was dying. Elder Erekson and I couldn't look at each other after Barbara was like, "Tasty?" And Sister Weaver sounded physically pained when she said, "Yes, very." I just loved that I was spared from it.

We finally met with Galena last week. We brought Yanina to help us out but it was seriously the roughest lesson I've ever had. She really wanted to argue and then she got mad that we weren't arguing with her so she got a little mean. It's frustrating to have someone who absolutely won't listen to anything you have to say and who asks the same questions over and over again, even though we've answered her. It basically comes down to whether or not the Book of Mormon is true, and that's not something that she's quite grasping. It's also hard to help her progress because she meets with Jehovah's Witnesses once a week and it feels like all of the progress me made in the last lesson is totally lost by the time we meet with her again. 

Last night the Lithuanian elders invited us to be on a lesson with Dasha, a Belarussian girl who's in her early twenties, I think. She's atheist and had agreed to listen to a short spiritual message after half an hour of the elders teaching her Lithuanian. She's super smart and really cool and we had a good discussion about who God is and what the Church is all about. She's really good at English and it was interesting to hear a little about Belarus. She's here in Lithuania for university and she has lots of intellectual ideas--she knew the word for existentialism in English! But yeah, she was way cool. She's not actually in our area, so we won't be able to teach her but I think Elder McClure is a really good match for her anyways.

Two more highlights of my week and then I gotta peace out: 1. I found Daim bars. They're like Heath bars, just better. I'm in love. And 2. we were joking to Elder Packham and Elder Hall about the fact that we might as well just start having companionship inventory together since we work so often with each other, and they told us something really funny. There was a survey that we had to take for our mission and one of the questions was "What is your favorite finding method?" and both of them wrote "The Russian sisters" because we are basically setting up a lesson with a new Lithuanian person for them to take over teaching every week. Haha we found another girl this week who was so cool! I don't usually stop girls who look under 20ish because they almost always turn out to be Lithuanian and don't speak Russian, but I stopped this girl and asked her what helps her get through trials in her life. She ended up saying that she has just recently been looking for the right path to God because she's noticed His hand in her life. She said she wasn't really interested in Christianity because it didn't seem right to her that Christians drink and smoke. Well have we got exciting news for her! Haha she was really interested after we told her a little bit about the Word of Wisdom and she asked when she could meet with us, so hopefully we can set up an appointment with her and just invite Elder Packham and Elder Hall so they can take over from there.

Anywho, I hope that all of you are doing great!  I miss you all tons love your guts.

Love,

Sister Gooch

P.S. Not sure if it's legal, but can you send me pepper spray?