Week 21: November 18, 2013-Estonia

Heeey everyone!

So let's just talk about the fact that Estonia is BUTT COLD. Haha I'm in Narva, this tiny town four hours (ish) away from Tallinn. Actually, it borders Russia. If you have a decent arm, it's a stone's throw away. Sadly, I don't, but I've heard of missionaries who've done it so that's cool for them.

Saying goodbye to Vilnius was bitter-sweet. Nobody was more surprised about transfers than yours truly--but mostly I was pumped. We went to Ludmila's right after we found out and she made us eclairs that were phemomenal, kak abuichna. It was a little bit sad since she's like my Russian babushka, but I was pretty pumped about Narva anyway. 

I also got to say goodbye to Alvidas, which was providential and one of the greatest moments of my mission. He took my hand and looked me in the eyes (as only dear, soul-melting Alvidas can) and told me to listen to my heart, don't stop believing, and a bunch of other stuff that Journey sings about. I told him thanks for how much he's helped me and before I could even finish my sentence he was hugging me. Haha show me a sister missionary who wouldn't hug Alvidas back and I'll show you someone without a heart.

We also got to do one last west side excursion with Elder Packham and Elder Hall. I will for sure miss working with them because they're fuuuuun. We went to a Russian guy's door who they called Boxer Guy because he was only wearing boxers when he answered the door the first time they went. He answered; told us he was busy but would ABSOLUTELY call us, which means he will never call us. But it was all good because it gave us the excuse to hang out with the elders one last time.

And oh! The sweetest miracle of them all: Sister Weaver and I brought flowers to Maria, our babushka friend! We finally were able to write her a cute little note and deliver it. I told her I was going to Narva (kinda sounds like larva, doesn't it?) and got to say goodbye. Babushka kisses are the best. One on each cheek, along with a cute little hug. She's adorable.

Packing wasn't too bad, but the worst part was 13 hours on a bus. I took a bus to Riga, then another bus to Tallinn, and then another to Narva: all of them approximately four hours long. Cool thing about the ride to Tallinn: my traveling companion was Sister Karr, who's serving in Tallinn. We traveled with two other elders and about an hour into the trip, a big guy came to the back where we were sitting and said, "I thought I heard someone speaking English!" Apparently he's from Louisiana and his name is Mark. He and his wife, Terry, travel Eastern Europe and are kind of like musical missionaries for the Southern Baptist church. He was super nice and told us how cool he thinks it is that we're setting aside 19-24 months of our lives to talk about Christ. Terry came and talked to us too, and eventually it got to the point where we discussed the differences in our beliefs. They "exhorted" us to stick to the Bible, which was well-intentioned. There was a few moments where I really felt like the Spirit was working through me. I was able to tell them about the verse in the Bible that says, "by their fruits ye shall know them" and testify about the fact that good and only good things have come from my testimony and studying of the Book of Mormon. I guess I don't really get why someone who holds God's word to be of such import would be so unwilling to learn more about Him. I had a hard time explaining why the Book of Mormon is necessary, so that's sort of my bad.

Anyways, my new companion is Sister Benson. When it was my second day in Riga and we were all lined up in front of the trainers and waiting to be told who was training us, I had seen her and immediately I thought, "I wanna serve with her." She was also Sister Weaver's companion just before I was and honestly, she's such an awesome missionary/human being in general. She's a food science major and she loves to cook, so I've been eating like a queen ever since I got to Narva. Seriously, I'm so lucky. Haha I sound like I'm talking about my life partner. But she's been out for over a year and she's super nice and has a talent for loving people in exactly the way that they need it. Here in Narva, it pretty much couldn't get more opposite from Vilnius. The branch is tiny (approximately 20 people, but less actually attend) and the majority are young girls. Sister Benson is just amazing because she's like an older sister to these girls and we're working on getting them started with personal progress/following For the Strength of Youth. Sister Benson opened Narva for sisters the transfer that I got here, and the church is only ten years old here. There's one priesthood holder besides the senior missionary branch president, President Dolgov (from Russia) and the other four elders who are here (Cook, Rawlings, Hampton, Allred). The Dolgovi came last transfer and before then, a normal elder had always been branch president. 

As you can imagine, things are kind of crazy. I'm so grateful to serve in places like this and to see how some people do so much for the branch where I know most people in the world wouldn't be willing to pull as much weight as they do. It's made me realize that I can't just be the kind of member who doesn't attend activities or do my visiting teaching when I get home. God gave us the personality traits and talents that we have for a lot of reasons, and I know that one of them is to strengthen and lift where we stand. It's sad to think that lots of members think they don't fit in or that their talents aren't needed in their wards/stakes/branches. I wish everyone could just realize that their diversity of talents and opinions is needed and welcomed in the church.  The branch is struggling and my first Sunday here was theeee most insane thing I've ever experienced. 

Somehow there wasn't a lesson planned for Relief Society so what ended up happening was that the eight people there just talked about the problems that they have. I only tell you this story because it's literally one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed. At one point, someone said something offensive to Katja, an 18-yr old, and she started crying. There's this woman, Sister Janis (Ya-nees), who is suuuuuper loving and energetic and sort of crazy in a lovely way. She has an extremely large chest and she loves to hug, which can be smothering, as you can imagine. As soon as Katja started crying, Sister Janis jumped up and ran over to her. Now imagine this, if you can: Katja's face is crushed to Sister Janis' chest as S. Janis strokes her hair and frantically repeats over and over, "Everything is good, Katja! Have peace! Glory to God! Hallelujah!" Hahahaha I die just typing it. She's one of the greatest people I've met. 

Quick funny story about visiting a member last night: Svyeta has a really annoying and mean cat and as soon as we sat down, the stupid thing sat right on my lap. What is it with me and animals on my mission?! It's like they know how much I despise them and they want to rub their grubby little bodies on me. Haha life is good.

The branch is full of really amazing people, and even though it's totally not what I'm used to, I love it here. It's definitely culture shock all over again, but the great thing about that is that the food/dairy here is sooooo good. Part of that might have to do with the fact that Sister Benson always makes really good stuff (we're having curry this week!) but I think in general the food is just great. And by the way, I eat mushrooms, tomatoes, and onions now. I'm all growed up.

We had zone conference in Tallinn on Saturday, and that was really cool because Elder Bennett from the Area Seventy came. He talked a lot about consecration, which is a subject that you would think I'd understand by now but I don't. Haha that's apparent by the fact that I learn something new every time. He was talking about the fact that we tend to think that the major part of the conversion process is over in our investigators once they start living the commandments, like paying tithing and obeying the word of wisdom. That's the lower tier of obedience, and that brings blessings and peace for sure, but it doesn't necessarily bring true happiness. What brings happiness is giving yourself over to the Lord: trusting in Him instead of what you think is best for yourself; being able to let go of the things that you think or are pretty sure will make you happy, and doing instead what you know the Lord would want for you. It's kind of a hard concept to grasp because I think it's easy to think, "I know exactly what makes me happy so why wouldn't I do it?" I guess the difference is in making decisions based on the happiness that lasts; choosing to do things that may not be as pleasant or desirable for us now but that will ultimately bring us true satisfaction and joy. 

I'm sorry this is so short--blame it on the fact that I've been emailing Ash back and forth this whole time. Haha I love you all and I pray for your specifically and individually every day. 

Love,

Sister Gooch

Week 20: November 11, 2013

Heyyoo!

Just so you know, there's a deaf Lithuanian lady screaming into Skype next to me so I am semi-incapable of writing anything that's comprehensible. So sorry, haha.

It's been a lovely week. Let's start off with exchanges.

Sister Lubberink (she's Dutch, so that's fun) came with Sister Ramos from Imanta, Latvia to do an exchange. Sister Ramos had been in Klaipeda but got emergency transferred to Imanta. Anyways, I went with Sister Lubberink for the day. She's walking sunshine, pretty much. Seriously, she's the nicest person ever and her English is great, so there wasn't any problems with communication. It was actually really cool for me to see her throughout the day as she talked to tons of people because she struggles pretty hard with Russian. She goes home after this transfer and she still has a hard time with basic stuff that I struggle with too. But what's awesome about her is that she doesn't even need to be that good at Russian because she's such a happy person that you can tell people genuinely love talking to her. Funny story that happened: there's this pedestrian bridge that we live by where, when you walk across it, you can see the bus stop that you're walking to because it's across the street. I don't really know how to put that into words. Anywho, we saw the other sisters waiting at the stop as we were walking across the bridge and we saw that they were talking to a guy and then they got on a bus and as we were walking to the bench that they had just left, the guy passed us. He had a Book of Mormon in his hand so Sister Lubberink said hi and asked him if he was gonna read it. It was pretty clear from how he smelled that he was drunk, but also there was something about the way he was acting that told us he was also on some pretty hardcore drugs. Sister Lubberink testified of the Book of Mormon because she's great and then he asked us where we were from and I told him America. For some reason that made him so happy. Only Emma Brague, Thyme, and Lauren Sasine will understand this, but he made the little sigh and grin that the king in the Esther movie made when she said that her heart was his. Haha so at that point, he just went for a hug and I froze. I wasn't trained for moments like that so I just patted his back! So funny and extremely awkward. Is it bad that I regret nothing? Just kidding. Kind of.

We also got to go to Kaunas for district conference on Saturday and Sunday! Kaunas is the most nationalistic Lithuanian area, which essentially means that they don't take very kindly to Russian speakers. We definitely saw that on Saturday when we went to the Maxima (grocery store) and asked for something in English and the lady was like, "Good morning, this is Lithuania, not America. You need to learn how to speak Lithuanian." <---it was a lot scarier and mean than that looks. Haha but it was super fun as well. A few members from all the different branches in Lithuania came and it was fun meeting them. There's a bunch of really cool members that I'm sad I won't be able to serve with because they are in the cities that Russian speakers don't go to. One lady stopped me when I was walking out and asked me where I'm from. I told her Idaho and she was like, "Really? You look like you're from somewhere in Europe." So there's that. She also said something really nice! She kind of tilted her head and then said, "I like you. You look like a really pleasant person." I love Lithuanians and their honesty most of the time. 

Speaking of which, here's a random fact: Lithuanian doesn't have any curse words, so they just attack your character or physical appearance. Haha it's terrifying. Or they just call you Polish, which is rascist and horrible but also slightly humorous to me. But mostly awful.

I also had an interview with President Boswell that made me 99% sure that I'm staying in Vilnius. He said that my area will be needing the skill set that I'm learning to cultivate in the very near future...so, I mean, that's pretty clear. Haha Sister Weaver thinks she's going to Klaipeda.

Last week's FHE was so funny. Genadi and Svyetlana and Karl were the only people who came but it was the best. We played mafia, and Karl is a hoot in pretty much any situation you put him in. Genadi is also hilarious--I wish I could explain to you how funny it was to play games with them but it just kind of gets lost in translation. I don't know how to tell funny stories that happen in Russian in English, if you get what I'm saying.
My gosh my brain is just exploding with this lady screaming warbled
Lithuanian in my ear, haha I'm sorry. I feel like this whole email is illiterate.

Anyways, my interview with President Boswell was a good learning experience. We were talking about our potential as missionaries, and more broadly about our potential as people in general. I had told him that I've heard so many missionaries who've been out for a long time or who were preparing to go home say that they felt like they came on their missions to do simple things like make peoples' days by smiling at them or having a nice conversation. They always say it like it's their calling not to baptize but to just make a good name for the Church. I asked President Boswell how to balance that attitude with the idea that we're supposed to focus and put all of our energy into baptisms and making sure that we get them. I guess it's been a grey area for me because it always seemed insincere to focus on getting people baptized rather than just making sure that we help them change their lives. But what he said was the perfect answer for me. He told me that Satan's way of getting to followers of Christ is by convincing them that they are only here to do good; that they don't need to strive for the extraordinary. He is so good at getting us comfortable with where we're at and making us think that it's enough to just be good. I'm not saying this in a discouraging way--I hope it doesn't come off like that. I'm just saying that there are two perspectives: One is Heavenly Fathers; that we are not only capable of great things but that we need to be actively striving to become the absolute best possible version of ourselves. The other is Satan's; that progression can stop or slow down when we feel that we are making positive changes. That's just stupid, quite frankly. Why shouldn't we try to develop all of the gifts that we were born with? If I was born a nice person, why wouldn't I strive to develop the gift to inspire kindness in others? We can always, always, alwaysexpand on the goodness in us. That's what's kind of fun about us as eternal beings--there's no end to our potential for greatness! So get started. Pray to know how you can strengthen your gifts as well as your weaknesses. 

Anyways, I hope that you're all doing great. Sorry this is a short one. Hopefully I have lots of exciting news for my next email about where I'm going, but probs not. Haha LOVE YOU!

-Sister Gooch

Week 19: November 4, 2013

Hey loved ones!

So last Monday we carved pumpkins for FHE and let me tell you--it's definitely going down as one of my favorite mission memories. Ludmila told Elder Erekson to carve her a scary pumpkin (I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but E. Erekson is Ludmila's favorite. He's like...he's like a human puppy. No joke, the kid didn't learn swear words until high school, soooo that's pretty much him in a nutshell). He really struggles with Russian (well, I guess not much more than I do; he's only a transfer ahead of me) so he didn't understand her request. So he carved Jesus' face. I can't even express how incredible Ludmila's reaction was. She kept saying, "This is a nightmare! I asked for a scary pumpkin and I get Jesus! What am I supposed to do, pray to it?" Hahaha she was being her normal sassy self but it was just great because Elder Erekson couldn't understand why she was freaking out and he just kept on a'carving. 

Lena, another member, was also really funny to watch because she was just hacking the pumpkin to pieces and making animalistic noises because it made her 6 yr old son Mindaugas crack up. We kind of combined the activity with the Lithuanian branch as well so it was extra crazy up in there. I loved it.

My pumpkin that Elder Bolingbrooke and I worked on together got a lot of flack because it didn't have a nose and only one tooth--but like whatever! The noses are ugly anyways. Haha I'm not bitter.

Oh, and real quick before I forget, Mike: the hymn Israel, Israel God is Calling sounds like it should be redone by Utah Phillips, am I right? I don't know, use your imagination. And also can someone send me the definition of abrogation? I read it in Jesus the Christ and it's driving me nuuuts.

Anyways, another cool thing from this past week was that we called Eglė. We had been hesitant to because she said she didn't want contact with us and was really rude about it, but we called her basically because President Boswell said to. Haha anyway, she ended up being super nice and explained that she had read up to the point where Nephi decapitates Laban and that she just couldn't believe that God would command Nephi to kill someone. Which is totally understandable! That sounds crazy if you don't look closely at the whole process and how Nephi absolutely didn't want to do it either, but that God had a greater purpose in mind. She agreed to meet with us again and to read further, so that pretty much made my whole life, if we're being dramatic here.

Sister Weaver and I had lots of moments of realization in the past week. We've been frustrated with how we teach--basically it comes down to the fact that I haven't been pulling my weight. I just assumed that I wasn't capable of taking the lead in lessons and stuff because I have such a small vocab and my grasp on the grammar is pretty lacking. 

So here's what it came down to: Sister Weaver told me in a comp inventory how stressed she is and how she needs me to step up, essentially. I felt horrible because I guess that I hadn't thought too deeply about how much responsibility is on her shoulders as a trainer, so I decided to take the lead in the next lesson we taught with Natalija. And guess what! I'm capable. Haha it's sad that it took me so long to realize it, but I'm totally capable of leading a discussion and asking thought provoking questions, even though it's obviously in really butchered Russian. I invited Natalija to baptism, which also felt good because we have been feeling prompted to do so but it never quite happened. She said no, but that's besides the point. Haha she's still working on receiving an answer, but I already knew that. I mostly invited her because for some reason, when you wait for a long time to ask someone to prepare to be baptized, they just stop progressing. It's a lesson I'm still trying to grasp.

We had one day where we had a lot of contacting time but for some reason nobody was home and the streets were deserted and a lot of businesses were closed down. We figured out that it was a Lithuanian holiday where they go to the cemetery and put flowers on their loved ones graves and cry. Haha it's depressing but there were tons of flowers everywhere, which was pleasant.

We had a magical day (I use that adjective because I'm not messing around--it was lovely) on Saturday because we went to Trakai to teach the 8 yr old, Alena, again. We brought E. Erekson and E. Bolingbrooke because there's this rule that we have to have another person with us if it's just a father and the kids. Dima, the dad, was the only one that was for sure going to be home with Alena so we had to bring someone with us and it just so happened that the elders had a blank day. Christina, the mom, ended up being there but it was still fun to have the elders come with us. Trakai is kind of an all-day event because the bus ride there is forty minutes, then it takes forty minutes to walk to the Elanskaya family's house, and then we have to leave early so we can catch our bus back to Vilnius. But the fun thing is that Trakai is gorgeous and it's always fun to have lessons with Alena because we just play games with her. This time we blindfolded Alena and hid a piece of candy in the room, then told her to find it. Obviously she couldn't, which is supposed to symbolize the fact that it's hard to navigate your way through life without the Holy Ghost's guidance. Then we had E. Bolingbrooke be the Holy Ghost and tell her where to go, so finding the candy was not only easier but possible. Her cousin, Kamelia, was there and they were both laughing so hard when Elder Erekson put the blindfold on and Alena played the Holy Ghost. Kamelia's the same age as Alena and they're both really funny little Russian girls. I took a picture with them that just kills me because Kamelia is doing the classic Russian poker face. They had watched Harry Potter (Garry Potter, as they pronounce it) a few days previous and they had sticks that they pretended were wands. They were casting spells on us and screaming, "Avada kadaga!" haha it was adorable. The Russian version of spells are funnier. If we can pick highlights of our lives to rewatch in heaven, then that lesson is for sure going to be one of mine. 

Elder Erekson said the closing prayer and here's a direct translation of one of the things he said: "We are grateful that we can be eating the scriptures." Haha I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S BEEN DUPED BY THAT VERB.

Oh, and another funny moment of my week happened before we had a lesson with Ludmila. We were a little early to the appointment so we decided to contact by Ludmila's. Sister Weaver dared me to talk to this old man with a cane who looked a little sketchy to me but, like, what was I gonna do? Be a pansy? So I stopped him and he was drunk, of course. Haha I'm still not the best at discerning when people are but I'm blaming this one on Sister Weaver. He did the classic Russian monologue for like fifteen minutes before we were able to say, "We gotta go but it was nice to meet you." He turned to me specifically and asked me something, gesturing to my hand. I thought that he was going to shake it, so I held mine out and he took it but just before he brought it up to his lips Sister Weaver told me that he had asked if he could kiss my hand. My reaction was painfully awkward because I ripped my hand away from him and was like, "I'm not allowed!" Haha I told Sister Weaver that I was never going to let it happen to me and she said good luck because it's happened to her dozens of times. I don't know what it is about drunk men and wanting to kiss your hand but I just wanna go as long as possible without becoming a victim to it.

Ah! I also remembered just now that we found out where our bab Maria lives! We plan to visit her and give her all of the gifts in the world because she's the sweetest person on earth. Seriously, I love her to death. We also saw Vechaslava on the way home and she makes life here 1,000 times better. As Sister Weaver so eloquently and sensitively says, "I'd slit my throat if babushki weren't in these countries." Terrible, but they really do make up for the lack of sunshine that we're getting. Speaking of which, it gets dark around 5 now. 

Next week we find out transfers, which is a little something I'd like to talk about for a sec. Before my mission, I had thought that transfers were no big deal, but let me tell you: they are intense! Haha maybe it's just because it's early in my mission and being paired with someone who came out with me is really likely, so I'm anxious to hear where I'm going/who I'll be with. It's funny because Sister Weaver made transfer brackets for the Russian sisters. She's intense about this too, which is probably where I get it from, haha. We just know that the Russian sisters have to move around a lot because six of us are finishing training and President Boswell likes to split up trainers from their trainees after two transfers. A city also has to close, and it's rumored to be Imanta, Latvia for Russian sisters because two sisters are going home but nobody is replacing them. So gah! I guess you'll hear in two weeks where I'm at because we find out transfers the day after I email you next week.

I realized recently that I haven't really said thanks to anyone yet, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone for writing me, praying for me, or any other form of support. I have especially felt your prayers this past week and you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear from y'all. I'm glad that Halloween was fun--we taught English and talked about holidays. Roman, the creepy guy, actually did something hilarious. We told them how trick-or-treating in America works and Roman left the room for a little and came bursting through the door yelling in a very thick Russian accent, "Holiday!" and handed out chocolates filled with vodka. Hahaha he was trying to imitate trick-or-treating but didn't quite get it right. Also, I think he's a little whack in the head but I was laughing so hard I was crying.

I really love my life right now. I'm obviously struggling with a lot of things but I can already tell that some of my happiest memories have been here in Lithuania. I know it's because missions require daily sacrifices, but the more that I've sacrificed, the more I've noticed that my capability to love whom and where I'm serving has grown exponentially stronger. I guess it's the same principle in life--parents love their children beyond description and it's because of the sacrifices that they make for them. I heard a quote in the MTC that has stuck with me and I think about it a lot: "Your mission will always be home to you." That definitely didn't feel true for most of these first two transfers that I've served, but I'm starting to see it. I love the fact that I'm here with these people and I'm so blessed to start to see a glimpse of the incredible things Heavenly Father has in store for me and for His children in general.

I hope that you all have a lovely week. Thanks for making my life so good.

Love you!

-Sister Gooch