Week 33: February 10, 2014

Hey folks!

Sister Dalley and I are in Narva for round two, which I could not be more pleased about. This is the first place I've stayed for three transfers in a row! 

Last week we had a really cool district meeting. It turned into a brainstorming session, which I loved because I had a few ideas that I've been wanting to make happen since my first transfer. One of which was to really use family history work as a finding tool. I started drawing up a flyer for it and then quickly realized that I am not as talented as Sister Dalley in that respect so she took that over. Anyways, it's kind of cool that we were thinking about revamping family history work here and when we were throwing out ideas in district meeting, Elder Skinner talked about an idea that requires a little backstory.

So Narva sits on the border of Russia and is something like two hours away from St. Petersburg, where the majority of family history records are kept by the Russian Orthodox church. They're on things called microfilms, and they pretty much contain all of the family history work for the people here. As of right now, those microfilms are being shipped all the way to Tallinn by the boxes and being copied there, then sent back to Russia because it's illegal to copy them in Russia. 

It doesn't make a lot of sense for Tallinn to be the center for family history work in the Baltics when there's a closer city (Narva), but Narva didn't have a microfilm reader, which is the huge machine that copies the microfilms. In order to get a microfilm reader, you have to have someone in the branch with the calling of Family History Coordinator. Since we literally have less than ten active members right now, nobody was available to fulfill the calling. 

Until now! Ksenja came home from her mini-mission and when she was there, she got the impression several times that when she returns home, she needs to start her family history work. She said that she thought after making that decision, the nudging feeling would go away, but it didn't until she decided that she needed to help other people with their family history work. She accepted the calling the day after she got home and so now it's finally possible for us to get one of those microfilm readers! I don't know if you realize this, but it's kind of huge for the Church in general. So many more names will be able to come through Estonia and it will draw so many more people to do their family history work. And we get to be the ones to make it happen!

Elder Skinner's idea was to get that microfilm reader here and plan a huge family history activity for the city. It's going to require a lot of foresight and planning if we actually want a turn-out, but I already know exactly how it's going to look and what I'm going to use for decorations. Haha that was the first thing I thought of. I've been wanting to decorate for so many events but I think I'll finally get the chance to with this one!

We're also going to start a drawing class, because Sister Dalley is the bomb and I can teach the design part. We're both really excited about that. 

The elders wanted to start a chess club because Russians just eat that stuff up. They say that chess was one of the three "sports" that were allowed during the Soviet times, so people love it. 

I've been really blessed this week to be able to look back at all of the progress made here in Narva since I got here. I'm so lucky to have seen it grow. President Boswell wrote to me last week and said that Sister Dalley and I have accomplished more here in six weeks than the missionaries before did in six months. That doesn't actually have much to do with us but I'm so grateful that I've been able to see the change. When I got here, the branch president wasn't a Narva native, the girls were only coming to church for the elders, there weren't any prospective priesthood holders, and hardly any members had callings. Now President Kabin is president of the branch, the girls don't talk to the elders at all and they're starting to build their own testimonies and making better decisions, we have Sasha and Zhenja that we're working with as future priesthood holders, we have the respect and trust of the members and almost all of them have callings, and we're going to be the future center of family history work in the Baltics! 

That's pretty rad, huh?

Anyways, transfers changed our district drastically. Elder Long and Elder Allred were transferred to Vilnius and Elder Skinner and Elder Bell are staying here for their last transfer. E. Bell's new companion is E. Goodrich from SLC. E. Skinner's new companions are E. Hanson and E. Anderson. I don't really know any of them yet but it's great to have musical talent back in Narva!

One of the funny moments of my week was when we taught Katia. The hilarious thing about Katia is that she is a teenage girl through and through, so we have a kind of mother-daughter relationship. She's sassy and makes excuses but we have the mutual understanding that I will call her out on it because I love her. Anyways, we pulled out For the Strength of Youth because she was telling us how she's having a hard time. I flipped through each of the subjects and asked if she was following all of them like she should, and she got this pouty face on and was like, "Sister Gooch, I've already tried all of those and they don't work."

I don't know why, but I just died laughing. Like...what? Living in a way that you respect yourself and others and the Lord isn't conducive to happiness? I died. Dead. 

Katia realized how ridiculous she sounded and we all had a good laugh. But can I just say that I am such an advocate of For the Strength of Youth? Seriously so grateful that I grew up with it. I'm working with teenage girls almost every day who never had the guidance that I did and, therefore, have made decisions that give them a bunch of unnecessary heartache. I just wanna gather all the teenage girls here in my arms like a mother hen and tell them that they're worth a lot more than they know. 

Zhenja and Sasha weren't able to meet this week, but we're meeting with Sasha tonight. They're both doing pretty well. Zhenja is tired and got sick after he quit smoking, and he's still trying to quit for good, but he's such a fun guy. He works a ton so meeting with him is hard.

On the way to his place, we said hi in passing to this babushka and she stopped and talked to us for like fifteen minutes. I heard before my mission that Russians are the most closed off people ever, but I highly disagree. I knew this lady's life story in ten minutes: how many kids she had, what annoys her about her husband, what early marriage was like, what her hair used to look like, a good place to buy pastries, where she grew up, etc. Haha it was comical. She said, "I'm so sorry, I have my own faith and I can't change that but I want you to come to me as guests and we'll drink tea and have cake. I love spending my time with beautiful people." She was a hoot, that's for sure.

In other news, we went to Kohtla Järve to meet with Sister Ivanova. We talked with her about an aspect of the Holy Ghost that not a lot of people think of: the Holy Spirit of Promise. I didn't know about it before my mission, either. We talked about covenants and it is really cool to see someone who lives in a place where the church doesn't seem to have near as much hope as in America or other places where it's exploding, and how much more her covenants mean to her. She goes to the temple maybe twice a year and she works for a long time in advance to find names of her family to take with her. It's one of the most important things to her, and I know that a lot of members here feel the same way.

Sister Dalley and I made a goal to read the New Testament, and today I finished Acts. And can I just tell you how much I love Paul? For real, he blows my mind with how bold and humble he was at the same time. I decided that I'm just going to start acting like him and fake it 'til I make it.

Oh! And I forgot to tell you that I got new quadruple combinations! One mini and one normal. Why, you ask? Because there's this really awesome book cover thing that a lady does in Riga and I wanted it on two sets of scriptures. I'm pumped about it. New translation and all!

Anyways, I gotta go but I love you all. How about ya write me next week? :)

Love,

Sister Gooch

P.S. I'm pretty sure my package is in Tallinn. We're going there this week for exchanges so yaaayy!

Week 32: February 3, 2014

Well, it's been a week.

First and foremost, you should know that I received the most hilarious nickname and I love it: Сестра Гучёнка, which sounds like Gooch-yo-nka. It's a lot like dyevchonka, my other favorite word.

I was sitting by Anja in sacrament meeting and she diminutized my name as much as possible. I hope you imagine Sister Goochyonka, waddling around Narva looking like a marshmallow with all of the layers I've been wearing.

My birthday was great. The night before, I was on the phone with Elder Allred and Elder Bell trying to figure out what time we needed to leave for Tallinn the next morning. Elder Bell and Elder Skinner wanted to take the early bus at 7:05 so that we could have an hour in Tallinn to eat at Subway before zone training started. Elder Allred and I wanted to take the 8:15 bus and just have the Tallinn missionaries provide lunch so we didn't have to wake up at 5:30. 

Anyways, Elder Allred said he'd call us back after he talked to Elder Long and Elder Skinner about it. Ten minutes later, he's broke the news like this: "So we decided to meet in the middle with this one. We figured that since Tallinn is so far away, we'd just be logical and do zone training over Skype." That would neverrr happen, so I was like, "Uh huh. And when do we leave for this 'Skype call'?" There was a pause and then he said, "...Around 7:05 in the morning." Haha Elder Diaper Pants (Skinner--and no, I've never called him that to his face) won again. I laughed so hard. Told them I'd see them at the buttcrack of dawn.

So that's what happened. We woke up at 5:30 and were perfectly on time to the bus station, put my suitcase on the bus, and waited for Elder Allred and Elder Bell to show up because they were paying for our tickets. We also watched the bus drive away with my suitcase. They didn't make it on time. 

We're batting 1,000 here, folks.

Afterwards, we decided to go to McDonald's but this is not America so it didn't open until 8. I was actually okay with that because I don't even like McDonald's in America. We went into a little gas station and I got a Froosh, which is just like Naked juice. Shook that sucker up and it exploded on me. Then we waited outside for about 20 minutes (just to be sure the bus didn't leave without us) and we all pretty much froze to death. Seriously never felt that cold in my life. Did you know that it's totally possible to get brain freeze without drinking something cold? You just gotta walk outside without a hat and it feels like the 4th Twilight movie where Edward's brain is being hurt by that girl vampire (Jane?). Haha I hate myself. Let's just leave it with the fact that it's painful and possible.

I definitely laughed a lot on my birthday. Zone training was lovely and my exchange with Sister Carr was fun, as always. And hey, being 20 is great. I think I pictured my handwriting to be a lot cleaner by now. I also pictured myself with shoulder-length hair and mom jeans, so there are some expectations that I don't mind falling short of.

President and Sister Boswell sang to me over the phone, was was cute. Sister Boswell said, "Sister Gooch, if I had a nickel for every time that President Boswell told me how smart and hard the Narva sisters are working, I'd be a rich woman." So excuse me while I pat myself on the back real quick... just kidding. It was really nice though.

Ksenja got back from her mini-mission and I got to hear an update on how everyone in Vilnius is doing. Looking at her pictures was really fun, too. She loved it and wants to start her mission papers, then while she's waiting for her departure date, she wants to serve another mini-mission. She's the bomb. We had a cool lesson with her the other day where we got to take a step back and see how much Heavenly Father has blessed her life, and how she has a mission to serve here in Narva. Love that girl.

I mentioned that Olga wanted to meet with us last Monday--we did and it was a really surprising meeting. She told us that she would so much rather be taught by elders because she doesn't trust women, but that she wanted to work towards baptism so we'd have to do. I know that sounds harsh but it's just Olga--it was refreshing to have her be open and honest with us. We went through the baptismal interview questions with her and she answered them all, then requested that our next lesson be about the restoration/Joseph Smith. And the biggest thing--she gave us her number. She hasn't ever done that for missionaries (she's met off and on with missionaries for the past year). So that was pretty miraculous.

We met with her again on Saturday and in the beginning of the lesson, she said that she realized what her main concern is: Why does she have to go to this specific church? What's the point of it all if there's the Provaslavney church and lot's of people are united in a belief in God, and here we have less than 20? 

Good question. There are so many answers to that and we did our best to answer it comprehensively and accurately, but it was hard because she kept asking a bunch of other little questions. I got up and drew a question mark on the board, then drew branches off of that with a question mark on each of those, and branches off of those, etc. I pointed to the top question mark and told her, "This is the heart of your concern." Then pointed to the question marks at the bottom and said, "These are the questions you're asking. If we can focus on answering the top question, then all of your concerns will be resolved." We tried really hard--and I mean really hard to teach to her concern, but she was closed off the whole lesson. We struggled to explain exactly what we needed to. Afterwards, she sent us a text saying that she won't be coming to lessons anymore. 

So that was hard.

I've never had that feeling before--where giving it my all just wasn't enough. I guess that's lucky or maybe naive, but I've never felt that crushing kind of disappointment. I know it's stupid to be all boo-hoo and woe-is-me about it, but it was actually the first time that I simply felt that my best wasn't good enough. I didn't feel capable of teaching in the way that Olga needed to be taught. Anyways, I had the privilege this week of learning a little bit more about the Atonement than I knew before. I've always understood to some degree how it works--we can receive forgiveness for the things that make us feel guilty and it can help us become what we were made to be. What I didn't know is that it makes up for missed opportunities, mess ups and it makes up for everything that we can't be. It makes up for my inability to express myself sometimes and it makes up for me passing by someone on the street without opening my mouth and sharing what I know. 

I don't know exactly how it works, but what I know is that God will always reward our righteous desires. In the story of the prodigal son, the father runs to him even when he's still a ways out and hasn't even made it home yet. God forgives us even though we aren't perfect. He doesn't just meet us halfway--He meets us wherever it is that we can't go any further. His forgiveness is not conditional on whether or not we have totally absolved our weaknesses--He forgives because He is always ready to help us on our way to becoming who He made us to be. His support, love, and encouragement often goes unnoticed by us because we expect something else from Him; something a little less understanding and more austere. 

But if there's anything that I've learned here, it's that Christ and Heavenly Father are more merciful than we can imagine. They don't want us to carry our burdens another second and they want us to remember how quickly we are capable of changing. We need not wait until next week, until summer, until we graduate, until the kids move out, until we retire to make the necessary changes in our lives for us to be happy. It just takes making the same decision over and over again every day: that you will be aware of and grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ by using it to make up for who you can't be and what you can't do.

That's how incredible people are made, I'm pretty sure.

I love you all and would love to hear from you. Letters are the best, if you were wondering :) My address is:

Sister Madi Gooch

Baltic Mission Office

Cesu iela 31-2K2 

Riga, LV 1012

LATVIA

Love,

Sister Gooch

P.S. I haven't gotten a camera or my birthday package yet--buying a camera in Russian is ruff stuff. I'll figure it out sooner or later. LOVE YOU.

Week 31: January 27, 2014

Hey!

Thanks for all of the birthday wishes--tomorrow should be way fun. We're going to Tallinn early in the morning for zone training and I'm excited for that. I'll be staying there until Wednesday night because we're going to do exchanges, except for this time I'll be with Sister Carr. Pretty sure it won't be a birthday I'll forget.

It was funny; last Sunday I was talking to Gelia, a chubby little 9 year old that suddenly just loves our guts. She has the same birthday as me and she kept asking if I was allowed to do (insert Russian word that I don't understand). Apparently they wanted to have a combined birthday party and go swimming with me. Such a bummer that I can't. Although, I can't imagine even wanting to swim here, where getting wet is like the last thing I would want.

Speaking of which, it's cold here. And when I say cold, I don't think that you understand to what extent that I mean it. My face froze to my scarf yesterday, which was painful and something that I didn't even know was possible. 

But if you're wondering about my welfare, I'm great! I've shaved my legs every day for the past week, if that's any indication of how I'm doing (it should be). Lots of really good things have been happening. 

For one, we committed Zhenja to quit smoking and the elders gave him a blessing, which was a really cool experience. He's having a hard time with that but little by little (Jared, tell me you know what Russian word I wanted to use there--I don't know how to spell it. Pateehonkoo?) we'll be working with him. We're doing the quit smoking program with him tonight. 

Another one was that we fasted again for Sasha on Sunday. Good things came out of that. First of all, Sasha and Olga came to church! And President Crandall (who's actually from Twin Falls) in the district presidency of Estonia spoke about building up the Narva branch. It was perfect because Sasha and Olga are both concerned about the size of the branch and the lack of families and priesthood in it. So that was great. 

Another thing is that it's been difficult to meet with Olga and Sasha together because they have totally different concerns, but they don't want to meet separately. Anyways, Olga came up to us after church and said that she wants to meet with us one on one! She's been coming to all of the activities and she's been to church for three weeks in a row, so she's doing really well. She's a very private person so it's hard to figure out where her concerns are and what her testimony is but this is a huuuuge step! 

Also, while President Crandall was speaking, I have a lovely realization. He minored in Russian and I could pick out all of the mistakes he was making--mostly this was a boost to my confidence to know that I can speak better than a Russian minor! And lest you think my head is getting too big, I am fully aware that it's the gift of tongues, haha.

Forgot to say that last week, President Boswell announced the new mission president here. His name is David Harding, from Lindon, UT, and he'll arrive in July. It's going to be so weird to have a new mission president but I'm excited!

I figure that I haven't told you much about my district right now. There's me, Sister Dalley, Elder Skinner, Elder Long, Elder Bell, and Elder Allred. You already know about Elder Allred, Elder Bell, and Sister Dalley, but I'll tell you about Elder Long and Elder Skinner. Elder Long is the most saintlike person ever and he's one of those people who manages to be hilarious without making fun of anyone and without being inappropriate. It's a real skill; especially on a mission, haha. He's from North Carolina and he's great. 

Elder Skinner is just a 2 year old little boy in a diaper and cowboy boots. Haha that's literally how I picture him in my head. He's from Tremonton, UT and he loves to talk about rodeos, deep doctrine and say things like, "Everyone on my ranch is American-made". He killlllls me. I don't think I've found someone so fascinating or hilarious. Besides Sister Janis, maybe. 

Anywho, he and Elder Bell go home at the same time, which is in March, I think. And the transfer is almost over, so sorry that took so long for you to know who I'm spending my time with.

Last week we went to the Narva castle for preparation day and it was a lot cooler than I thought. I was expecting to be disappointed because the castle in Trakai is pretty rad, but I wasn't! We didn't even go inside but it was cool to look across the river at Russia. It looks the same as Estonia, in case you were wondering. Elder Long threw a rock to Russia, which was beyond my capabilities but fun to watch.

Jared wanted to know what kind of Estonian snacks/candy I like, so I'll tell you about that real quick. First of all, Daim bars are like Heath bars but better. Pretty sure I've mentioned those. I love them...and haven't let myself buy them for the past three transfers because they're addicting. Although a new chocolate bar that I looove is Geisha. It's milk chocolate with hazelnut filling and it's so much better than Bueno. There's also Kalev chocolate, which is amazing in general. My trainer's favorite flavor was white chocolate with blueberries. Yum.

I don't eat chips here but they have some whaaack flavors. Everyone's favorite seems to be seasoned dill or forest mushroom. There's also a grilled meat one that I have yet to try; probably never will. Also there are peri peri flavored chips, which are so gross. Haha I guess I'm not the biggest fan of chips in general here.

I'm going to be sad when I go back to America and they don't have the kind of orange Fanta that they have here, though. And hopefully y'all have the aloe vera drink! 

As for food, I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that if you have onions, potatoes, dill, cabbage, sour cream, and a whole bunch of oil and grease, you could make any Russian dish. It's delicious a lot of the time, but it makes you feel a little bit like death afterwards. The good/sad thing is that we don't really get fed in Narva, so I don't have to worry about it.

But yeah, like I said last week, we mostly just drink homemade lemon ginger tea. 

Anyways, Sister Dalley and I have been teaching the youth a lot lately. I feel like teaching them has taught me a lot. When I first got here, I thought that I would need a lot more patience in order to teach teenagers and stuff, but that's not what I've needed. Creativity is really all that's required. They've been so fun and easy once I figured out that I can't teach them like they're adults and then get frustrated when they don't pay attention. Lately Anya and Katja have loved reading the Book of Mormon and drawing it on the board as we go. I have a feeling that all the things I'm learning here about working with youth are going to be important for me and my future family.

Last week President Boswell sent something in his weekly letter that I thought was beautiful and it blew my mind: Stars are not immortal but we are.

Think about that! God made us with such incredible potential, it's not even comprehensible. I hope none of you are living your lives day to day without doing something that's going to move you closer to being the person that God made you to be. I especially hope that you're going to the temple at least once a month, because I'm hanging around people who save up all year just so they can go once. And sheesh, it's the best place to figure out what definite measures you can be taking to reach your potential, how to help your family reach theirs, and it's the best place to make decisions in general. If nothing else, go because I can't :)

I love you all. Next week you probably won't even recognize who's writing you because I'll be 20. Leaving your teens feels that way, right?

-Sister Gooch

Week 30: January 20, 2014

Hi friends!

I finally got a watch this week, which is a miracle because I was beginning to feel like they didn't sell watches here. It just so happens that Zhenja works at a little watch kiosk in the place that we grocery shop, and I bought it from him. He also fixed Sister Dalley's watch for free, which further prove that he's the bomb.

We taught him and Masha last week, which was fun as always. We committed them both to stop drinking coffee and tea together. It was funny because I extended them the commitment and Masha was like, "Wellllll...." and I said, "Yes or no." Zhenja was like, "Come on, Mash. Let's do it." And then they did a pinky swear and it was the happiest moment. Haha I love that I can be really straightforward with them. In fact, it seems like teaching them any other way doesn't work. We went back the next day with a garbage sack and emptied their cupboards of coffee and tea, then gave them some Inka (coffee substitute) and fruit tea that they can drink. Things are going really well with them. They're hilarious.

We focused a lot of our efforts this week on members. We taught Sister Valling, who I know I've mentioned but I don't know if I've expressed just exactly how much she helps us. She's helping a lot with Sasha and Olga and she's pretty much the most solid person ever. She totally understands how the church is supposed to work and she has a gift for helping people do the right thing. I don't really know how to explain that gift but she's got it. Anyways, the morning of the day that we were going to teach her, I was reading in the Book of Mormon and trying to figure out what she needed to hear that day. I read in 3 Nephi chapter 12, and verse 13 caught my eye. I know I've had a bunch of Sunday school lessons on this verse, talking about the salt of the earth and whatnot, but I never felt very solid in my understanding of it. But as I read it, I felt like we needed to base the whole lesson on it. So when we got to Sister Valling's, after we opened with a prayer, I told her to turn to 3 Nephi 12:13. As soon as she did, she started to cry. She read it and was really emotional through the whole thing. Afterwards, she told us why it meant so much to her. Apparently when she was born, her parents named her Marika, but shortly afterwards her father felt very strongly that they needed to change her name to Maarika with two a's. This was back in the Soviet times, so changing legal documents was next to impossible, but he went through the trouble and did everything he could to change them. The reason he did all of that was because he knew that "Maarika" in Estonian means "salt of the earth". I've never cried on a lesson before, but I can't really express how absolutely sure my knowledge is that Sister Valling is someone that I've known for a really, really long time. She said that lots of missionaries come and go but she has felt with a certain few that she knew them in the life before this and knew that they would be working together, and she said that Sister Dalley and I are two of them. It's definitely not a lesson I'll ever forget.

Actually, that whole night was something I'll never forget. Quick side note to preface the story that's about to unfold: Sister Dalley's boots are pretty much destroyed so she's been wearing flats with tights underneath. The whole branch has been in an uproar and everyone has been calling to see if she got boots yet (it's been about a week) and three members gave her boots that were too small. They're sooo concerned and caring about it. Earlier that day, we had taught Sister Dik with the elders and she was horrified about Sister Dalley's shoes, so after we left she called Sister Ermohhena, who called Sister Janis. And here's where the adventure begins:

We got into our apartment elevator, rode eight floors up, and as soon as we stepped out we heard, "Сёстры!" (Sisters!) I thought I was imagining it but then we walked down our half-flight of stairs and there, standing wide-eyed and urgent, was Sister Janis. I asked her how long she had been waiting there and she said, "I knocked on your door and I knocked and knocked and when you didn't answer I asked God where the sisters are and the Spirit told me that you were on your way and then I heard the ding! and I knew it was you glory to God hallelujah!" And yes, she said it all without a breath in between. She told Sister Dalley to grab her boots and follow her. You should know, by the way, that members/nobody is allowed to come to our apartment, plus it wasn't preparation day so we shouldn't have been dealing with her boots anyways...but I'd like to see one of you tell Sister Janis no. Haha she was kind of freaking out about it. What ended up happening was, for the next hour of our lives, we were following Sister Janis as she tried to find this shoe repair guy in Narva while she prayed out loud nonstop for guidance, for the shoe repairman's heart to be soft, for Sister Dalley's legs and feet to stay warm so she could still have children later on in life, etc. She didn't know the address (and she was leading us through these ghetto streets with a fair share of drunk men, which was hilarious in and of itself because they would catcall and Sister Janis would think that they were talking to her and she'd get all sheepish and talk about her former years as an exotic dancer) and she would stop pretty much everyone we passed to ask for directions. Finally she stopped these two babushki and we stood there staring at each other and wondering what was happening to the quiet night we had planned, which was to eat dinner and then weekly plan, while these three babushki yelled at each other until they finally decided that they would just lead us there themselves. We were walking a little ahead of them because they were slow as sin, and Sister Janis turned off on this random street because she thought she had found the building. Instead it was this tiny door that was obviously not it, so she turned around as the babushki were about to pass us and yelled, "Dyevchunky! Where is it?!" Killllllled me. I'm not used to babushki being talked to like they're 10-year old girls but I loved it.

We finally found the guy and Sister Janis blessed his household and invited him to church after we dropped off the boots. The whole time I was wishing so hard that I had my camera with me, but I did the next best thing and asked Heavenly Father if this could be, in perfect detail, on my life movie that I figure I'll watch after I die.

My heart has been really heavy lately--like I'm always in pain or something. Haha it's not even physically, necessarily, it's just that I am pretty sure I've never cared this much about anything or anybody. I feel like my time in Narva has given me the tiniest glimpse of what Heavenly Father feels for each of us. I feel like Heavenly Father must be getting me ready for something really miraculous, too, because I am feeling less adequate than ever before. Don't get me wrong: I know I'm perfectly capable, I'm just very aware of my weaknesses. But I'm relying more than ever before on the promised blessings and help from Heavenly Father to make up for who I am and who I'm trying to become. It's also teaching me patience with myself, for sure.

But watch any inspiring drama movie and tell me I'm not on the brink of miracles.

Also, I found Mosiah 4:12 the other day and I absolutely love it. If you ever wanted to know exactly who God is and what He's like, then you don't need to wait any longer! It says that if we call upon Him daily in prayer, being humble and submissive, then here are the blessings we'll receive:

1. You will always rejoice.

2. You will always be filled with the love of God.

3. You will always be forgiven of your sins.

And here comes the zinger...

4. You will grow in the knowledge of the glory of Him who created you. (That's God!)

It's cool to realize that we pray because we have the chance to get to know, understand, and appreciate the very Being who gave us breath. And why is that important? Because if we're going to become like Him, then we need toknow Him. Logical, right?

I'm sorry, you can tell I've been teaching 14-year olds. Haha I just thought that those were rad blessings of prayer.

I love you all and I'd love to hear from you. Have a great week!

-Sister Gooch

Week 29: January 13, 2014

Hey everyone!

Narva looks good in white. It's been snowing for the past couple of days and I'm feeling like I'm living in a snow globe that just got shaken up a bit. It's actually really beautiful. And cold. I pulled out the boxer mittens that I got from my apartment in Vilnius. They're heavy duty.

I feel like I haven't given you many details on what my day-to-day life is like here, so here's a more detailed look on a few things from the past week:

-We make lemon ginger tea every day, all day. Haha it's what a few babushki told us to make when I was sick and it's magic in a cup.

-Sister Dalley showed me this book that she has on the Baltics, and it's part of the Lonely Planet series. Family, if you want to get a really accurate idea of what the Baltics are like, buy it! It will also be awesome for when we come back next summer. There's tons of incredible history in there that made me a little more aware of how lucky I am to be living here.

-We were reading the Book of Mormon in Russian during district language study (always on Fridays at 1:30) when we came across Christ's thoughts on the saying "eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth". In Russian, "tooth for a tooth" sounds like "zoob za zoob", which sounds like an indie band or something. Elder Allred and I got a kick out of that.

-We taught Sasha with his friend Olga, who I think I failed to mention before. She's this super cute Russian girl who's read the whole BOM and doesn't really take us seriously. Anyway, we brought the hammer down on our last lesson. I had the idea to grab the white handbook (missionary rule book) as we were walking out the door, because we wanted to basically tell Sasha that he's got to get serious if he wants an answer about whether the church is true or not. We've taught him all of the lessons and he's soaked it all in--he just won't set a baptismal date because he doesn't think he's received an answer. Essentially, he doesn't know how to recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost. But anyway, I took out the white handbook and was like, "Sasha, this book contains all of the missionary rules. And let's be real: following all of them is really hard. But inside there's a promise from God that the understanding of those we teach is influenced by our personal worthiness. We want you to know that we are going to follow this perfectly so that you can receive a witness for yourself. We are doing everything we can--now it's your turn." We invited him to fast with us the next day and to be baptized on the 25th of this month. He didn't say no but he didn't say yes! I can't even tell you how huge that is for Sasha. He was telling us that he wants to be baptized in the Baltic Sea. That would be freeeeezing, but I would settle for a tub at this point.

We have another meeting with him in an hour or so and I'm really excited to see how his fasting went. He's an awesome person because when he fasts, he does it seriously. He ponders and reads the scriptures throughout the day, just because he's Sasha and he's the world's greatest.

-Sister Janis has a nephew who is the most adorable kid ever. He has glasses that make his eyes look huge and a little mullet in the back. Did you know that most little boys have mullets here? It's a beautiful thing.

-We finally got to teach Zhenja and Masha again! They are so rad. They got along really well with Sister Dalley, too. We were able to teach them about sealing their family together and temple marriage, which is one of the happiest topics ever. It's cool to tell someone that they can be with their family after this life when it's something they've never thought of before.

-I ordered fresh hamburger meat at a deli today, all in Russian. I just wanted to write that because what? What? Last year at this time, I never would have thought that I'd be doing that.

-The amount of fur that people wear here is insaaane. So Russian. I love the babushki wearing total fur coats with fur shopkas. It's amazing/makes me want one.

-We are getting ready for our English cooking course that starts up again this week. It's every Wednesday and Saturday. We had to buy extra food for that this week so our bags were so heavy on the way home that we had to set them on the snow and drag them like sleds. We might as well buy one of those babushki carts with wheels. (Jared, Mike...tell me you know what I'm talking about.)

-Today was the second time we've gone to a Turkish restaurant with elders Bell and Allred. It's not my favorite--can't get over the combination of pickles and yogurt. But it's always a good time with them.

-I led choir on Saturday because all of the musically talented missionaries in Narva left last transfer. It was incredible because Sister Janis keeps eye contact with me the whole time and sings with her eyebrows going up and down and all around.

-Almost daily, Sister Dalley and I look at each other and say, "We're nineteen," quickly followed by, "We're living in Estonia, speaking Russian. We're teaching lessons by ourselves and we're negotiating rent contracts and walking through mazes of домs (haha don't know the plural of that--домы doesn't sound right) and eating way too many cucumbers." So maybe not always in that order, but seriously, it's hitting me over and over how surreal it is that I'm doing what I'm doing.

I love it more than I've loved anything else.

-We've done so many drop-by's to members and less-actives alike because our apartment had a disgusting amount of chocolate in it. For the holidays, we received sooo many boxes of chocolates. That's a big thing here. Little candies in general are huge. People always have candy to give; especially during the holiday season. 

-Estonian is whack. I let a little giggle out sometimes when I pass the "Alkoholipood" (pood is the word for store). We rarely hear it but some of the signs here are in Estonian. And today when we were buying groceries this babushka randomly turned to me and started speaking Estonian. It was funny to me that my first reaction was to say, "I only speak Russian." 

-I did an exchange with Sister Patino on Thursday. Every missionary who comes to Narva for the first time is always floored by how tiny and gray it is. She wasn't an exception, but Sister Patino is super fun and loves everything about life so it was great! 

-Sister Dalley and I have a wonderfully balanced companionship. I tend to err on the side of too straightforward and upfront (let's be real--my Russian vocabulary is limited so I don't attempt to beat around the bush), but Sister Dalley is like the sunshine that the people in the Baltics have been missing. She's a human vitamin D3. 

-Ksenja is serving a mini-mission in Vilnius with Sister Weaver, my trainer! I'm so jealous. It sounds like they're having a blast and it sounds like my old babushka friend Maria is doing great.

-I've thought a lot about the concept of perfect faith this transfer, and actually about the concept of the word "perfect" in general. It's sad that I never understood how inaccurate my definition of perfect was before my mission. I had thought that it meant flawless, but it really means whole. The idea of having perfect faith sounded like something that wasn't realistic or possible, but then I had a kind of realization: Satan's individual attempts to keep me from reaching my potential are focused a lot on rationalization. He gets me to rationalize that the people here are really hard to change and that this mission that I'm in specifically is a low-baptizing one; that their hearts are particularly hard here so it's okay if I don't have very high expectations. But, like, what? Why would I have greater trust in the being who doesn't want me to succeed than I would in the One who suffered everything so that I could do anything? Super twisted logic. I'm learning to stop rationalizing and just believe and hope with a perfect faith that I can change and so can the people here. Heavenly Father uses the smallest and simplest to bring about the greatest and most magnificent. Perfect faith is not only possible, but it's something we need if we want miracles in our lives.

-For some reason, I have this unspoken fear that if I write down details about who I'm teaching, then they'll suddenly vanish. Haha so going along with this perfect faith thing, I wanted to tell you how many miracles Sister Dalley and I have experienced together. We have six investigators right now--that's a really high number for this mission. Every day I see a little more how Heavenly Father can work miracles through us when we're humble and teachable. That kind of attitude is definitely not something that we have a problem with as two missionaries in our 4th transfer together. 

But yeah, life is really great. It's about to get real cold, apparently. I can't believe I've made it through winter this far without any appalling stories where my eyelashes freeze or something. I'll keep you updated on that.

Love you all tons and I absolutely love hearing from you. Thanks for all of the support and prayers. Have a great week!

-Sister Gooch