So, sorry this letter is coming so late. We had to split our email time in order to eat with the elders one last time before Elder Bell and Elder Skinner head home.
That means that I have had plenty of time to think about what I am going to write this week. Every time that I try to compose something it doesn't come out how I want it to, so I'm not going to try to water it down.
This week I've found out just a little bit more of the person that Heavenly Father wants me to be. I feel like every week for the past two transfers, I have had the thought, "This has been the hardest week on my mission." Or actually, my life, because I don't remember having this much heartache before I came here.
And, as the pattern goes, this past week was the most difficult thing that I have gone through. When I say difficult, I don't mean that there has been an absence of miracles or hope, but I mean that Satan has doubled his efforts and that Heavenly Father has seen it fit to break me down in order to build me back up.
I always imagined that the difficulties of a mission lie within having to talk to people that you don't know and having to deal with peoples' rejection. But you know what? That all seems like white noise to me. It's there but it doesn't affect my attitude and it doesn't ruin my day.
What I find to be difficult and, frankly, my crucible, is the fact that Heavenly Father isn't going to settle on making me a good person. He will not settle on me being easy to get along with or simply the fact that I can laugh at myself. All of those things are part of me but they are not the ultimate goal that He has in mind.
The fact is that in order to become the person that Heavenly Father created me to be, He has to show me my weaknesses so that I can have the choice to change. That's what's so ridiculously uncomfortable about a mission--you are put into situations that you've never been in and, therefore, you learn things about yourself that you never knew. You figure out where you need patience, where you could use charity, how you could better learn to comfort someone else.
I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining because the truth of it is that the reason my heart is so heavy is the same reason that I am so ridiculously happy. I know for a fact that Heavenly Father has a much more daunting and excellent purpose for us than we can recognize in ourselves. I've seen what He has been able to do with someone like me and I have seen how ready He is to show His children their potential as soon as they ask Him.
Also, it makes no sense that Sister Dalley and I still have as much fun as we do because we are bone tired and a lot of rough things have happened this week. Heavenly Father definitely shapes our backs to bear the burdens that we have.
With the little bit of time left, I'll tell you real quick about the Spring Carnival. Sister Dalley and I spent a good 8 hours making the puppets for the puppet show and I was working with an infuriatingly dull pair of scissors to cut the yarn for the hair but it was all worth it! We were getting things ready down to the minute that it started but everything worked out. Ironically, it was the only day for the past month that it dumped snow, so it wasn't very springy. But it was definitely one of the funnest nights of my mission. We did relay races, played games, provided dinner, had a talent show, and the elders did the same puppet show that they do in Belarus. It was on eating healthy and the kids loved it. It was so fun though--the members here love a good party. We had the elders shove their faces in whipped cream in order to find a hidden word as one of the games and poor Elder Goodrich hates whipped cream. The image of him miserably moving his nose around the plate will forever be engraved into my mind.
But yeah, sorry it's so short. I love you all a lot. Have a good week!
-Sister Gooch
P.S. We find out transfers tomorrow. I'll let you know!
P.S.S. Halfway mark in two days! What?
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