Week 72: November 10, 2014

I might be the only person that this has ever happened to, but I fell asleep on the bus on the way to school when I was in first or second grade. Now I realize that in and of itself isn't rare, but what is exceptional is that I slept right through all of the bustling of the kids around me as they got off the bus. I imagine that they glanced at me as they filed by, probably counting on the kid behind them to inform me of my surroundings. The last kid most likely figured that the bus driver would take care of it, but my 3rd grade seat buddy has no excuses. Aren't situations like the one I was in exactly what seat buddies are for? If I had any illusions that he had my back before, waking up at the bus station an hour later cleared them right up. I guess I was little enough to be hidden by the seat and as soon as I sat up to look around for another living soul, the bus driver saw me. I don't remember how I got back to the school, but what will always stay with me is an inner commitment not to be a 3rd grade jerk and to wake somebody up if they're about to miss the bus stop. 

So here it is: my attempt to do that in the form of this email, just in case you're sleeping.

It seems like any time that I decide to flip through the bible, my eyes land on some unsavory verse about she-bears or cannibals, but this week I opened up right to where Christ is talking in Luke 14. No she-bears, but difficult to swallow all the same. He says, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, or husband, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple."

Feels like a punch in the gut, right?

He then goes on to relate a parable that doesn't seem to have any correlation at all with His previous statements. He tells of a man who intends to build a tower but, after laying the foundation, realizes that he doesn't have the sufficient funds to finish it. He hadn't counted the cost beforehand. Verse 33 wraps it up by saying, "So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple". 

I don't know about you, but I felt the same sensation in reading these verses that I feel when I see someone wearing an all plaid sweatsuit, green crocs and a minx scarf. I couldn't pick out the immediate connection between all of it. (Hint: they're Russian.)

But I figured that if Christ uses that strong of language, then I'd better listen up.

I think it's fair to say that here, we can interpret the word "hate" to mean "to have any kind of preference to anyone or anything over Me". When we prioritize even the most important people or things in or lives over Christ, then we aren't worthy to be numbered as one of His disciples. 

He would have put it that simply, I'm sure, if he didn't think that we'd treat it too lightly. They didn't have asterisks, italics, or hashtags in those days, so word choice mattered a little more. And honestly, I'm sure that He knew His listeners all too well; that being a disciple might be something that most of us would have a casual posture towards. Because being a disciple means faithfully doing home/visiting teaching, attending sacrament meeting, and volunteering for the ward potluck, right? That generally doesn't look like casual discipleship on the surface because it requires obvious effort. The only problem is that it's easier to do all of that with your hands than it is to do it with your heart.

The Savior speaks in terms of black and white so that it's impossible for us to misunderstand: He will not have casual disciples. "Casual" and "disciple" are contradictory in their very nature. That's where the parable comes in: a man gets the idea in his head that he'd like to build a tower, and he does the equivalent of laying the foundation of a house without estimating the cost beforehand. Of course that sounds like idiocy to us, but it's suddenly more relatable when we put it into the context of discipleship: as church members, we get used to accepting callings, giving talks, feeling warm and comfortable in the pews at church and feeling the Spirit. We go from week to week trying to stay on top of our responsibilities and doing what is right--building our house as we go. But then something happens (it could be a thousand different things that range from life-shattering to barely noticeable) and we are either taken off guard by it or, more commonly, pacified by it. Whether it's feeling like you don't click with anyone in Relief Society, reading an article that seems to prove the Church's stance on political matters wrong, or going through a divorce, it has a very real potential to weaken your commitment to the Savior. Of course, the opposite is true as well but I want to focus on the subtleties that we often fail to recognize until it's too late and we've forgotten why we needed to be such a "militant" disciple, anyway. 

I think it's fascinating that Christ uses that parable to send us this message: we must count the cost of being a disciple and make a lucid decision as to whether or not we're willing to pay it under any circumstances. If not, we end up signing up for a 5-credit class with the expectation that it'll only require the effort of a 1-credit class. There will be assignments that you didn't anticipate having to fit into your busy schedule and it'll be so much easier to do the bare minimum to just drop out altogether.

But I guess that's the difference between students who go to school for a real education and the ones who go to get a certificate. The latter put in less work and they're rewarded less in return.

It's also interesting that the only price that Christ has named is "all". With the widow and her mite, the young prince and his riches, and the parable of the pearl of great price, He never once uses "some", "half", or "most". He asks for all because He doesn't intend to be a Savior of most of your soul. He gave His all and you are called to follow suit.

Returning to Luke 14, I love the clarification that the Joseph Smith translation provides: "Wherefore, settle this in your hearts, that ye will do the things which I shall teach, and command you." 

He asks us to stop being blindly obedient (if we had ever started) and to make our decision to be His disciples an educated and binding one. It isn't a decision that we make anew each day; it's one that we make once and then give our fiercest loyalty to there-afterwards.

What makes a true disciple is simple: you put your whole heart, might, mind, and strength into becoming more like the Savior and lifting those around you on your way. It's relying and reflecting upon your covenants, regularly seeking inspiration and guidance from the Lord in His temple (always with your spouse, if you can), actively seeking and developing spiritual gifts, and going out of your way to be a conduit for the love of God to those around you. Discipleship permeates every little aspect of life because that's where the Atonement reaches, too.

Elder Klebingat came to Imanta last Tuesday and that ^^ was essentially my take-away. He's really funny and it was awesome to have somebody visit who understands Eastern Europe and was able to instruct us in a way that was more applicable for our area.

I wish I had time to write more but just know that I love you and hope that this week is great!

Love,

Sister Gooch

P.S. The picture is of me like two seconds ago when randomly SVETA NIKOLAEVA FROM NARVA WALKED IN THE ROOM! So glad I got to see her one more time.