Week 28: January 6, 2014

Well, I have never laughed at myself as much as I have this past week. I guess that happens when you and your companion have roughly the same language capabilities and are more prone to laughing than crying. This week we taught Anja, (the 14 year old that y'all met!) and we based the whole lesson on writing in your journal. We brought ours (neither of us have missed a day in at least a year) and bought her one of her own. She was so pumped about it. Sister Dalley is really awesome with youth so suddenly Anja wants to meet with us every day, haha. But she's doing a lot better--we made a deal with her where she has to complete a Personal Progress experience before we can have another lesson with her. But the reason that I'm telling you this is because I wanted to tell you another greeeeat Russian mistake that I made. Inside of Anja's journal, we wrote notes and there was a sentence that I wrote that said, "I promise that if you write in your journal every day, you will be able to see the blessings that God has given you." Here's what I actually wrote: "I promise that if you pee in your journal every day..." 

Sad, huh? Anja got a real kick out of that.

Sister Dalley and I have been doing great in a bunch of other aspects, as well. She taught me the proper way to eat kiwis, which is weird. Apparently you're supposed to scrub the hair off and then cut off the ends and eat the skin and all! It's a whole new world.

We've actually had a lot of miracles though. First of all, I realized that I haven't really updated you on how our investigators are doing.

Starting with Sasha: he's so, so, so good. I love his guts. We've only met with him once since Sister Dalley has been here but it's been awesome to see how Heavenly Father is making me a lot more capable than I thought I would be. It was a really powerful lesson with Sister Valling helping (every lesson that she helps on is powerful, basically) and he brought a friend, too! The whole time I was sitting there thinking about how crazy it is that I can now understand what's going on without asking my companion what happened later. Anyway, he actually wasn't in Narva this weekend, but he was in Tallinn visiting a friend. And here's how rad he is: he went to the Tallinn branch! It was the perfect Sunday for that to happen because Elder Bennett of the Seventy spoke and President Boswell was there, too! He met both of them and I could just die I'm so happy. I talked to him last night on the phone and he said it was an awesome experience. So, so, good.

Sadly, we haven't been able to teach Zhenja since Sister Dalley has been here, but we have a lesson with him tomorrow so I'll give you an update next week!

Yesterday, at the end of church, an 18ish year old girl walked in and turns out that she's an internet referral! I don't think you realize how insaaaane that is. We pretty much never get internet referrals here! Anyway, her name is Diana and she's from Riga, but has lived in Narva for the past two years. We had a lesson with her right after church and she's the most prepared person I've ever met, I swear. We'll meet with her again on Saturday. She's so rad.

Yesterday night, we also had a lesson with Nina, an investigator that the elders are passing to us. She is the sweetest, and every time we come to a lesson with her she has a list of questions that she wants us to answer. We've started a system where we take her list of questions home and study them, then give her scripture verses to answer them. It's pretty difficult because it's not like either of us are scriptorians, but it's been cool. We're trying to get her to think about it and study it out by herself instead of a couple of 19 year olds answering her questions in broken Russian.

Another great thing! I bore my testimony during sacrament meeting and it was a really cool moment for me because I remember exactly what I said in my first testimony when I got to Narva, and my Russian has improved a toooooon. I can express more complex ideas than, "God loves you...I love you...I know the Book of Mormon is true...etc", so that was a lovely realization.

It's also been awesome to feel the support of the members. They realize that we need a lot of help on lessons so they've been more willing than usual to help us out. 

Sadly, Sister Janis has been sick for a week. We've called her a few times to see if she needs anything and we dropped by with some chocolates and every time she blesses me in the name of Иисус that I will marry a righteous man and have lots of babies. So...the future's looking pretty bright.

New Years was insane. Seriously, I've never seen more fireworks in my life. Sister Dalley and I took a video of the sky outside our apartment window--we did a panoramic view and it shows like fifteen gigantic fireworks going off at different locations all around us. And it was only 10:00! 

I laid in bed for a while thinking about how, last year on New Years, the last thing I thought I'd be doing is going to sleep at 10:30 on the bottom bunk of an apartment room in Narva, Estonia. I really love it, though. Best New Years yet. The next day, pretty much every man we talked to was still terribly drunk. Lots of entertaining conversations, that's for sure.

I feel like this transfer is going to be one of my happiest to look back on purely because of our situation. We're doing things we never thought we'd do--I figured out my first apartment contract in Russian! That was funny and painful all at once.

Honestly though, I've been praying a lot that I'll be able to grow through stretching. It's overwhelming and I've never felt more...I don't know, like my age before. I'm definitely realizing a lot of my inadequacies, but I feel like Heavenly Father is also giving me little glimpses of the person that I was designed to be.

So yeah, it's all good in the hood. Sorry my letters keep getting shorter--I don't know what's wrong with me. Haha I love you all and hope you have a lovely week.

Love,

Sister Goochka

Week 27: December 30, 2013

Heyo!

Let's start with the fact that I absolutely loved getting to talk to y'all. I'm sad for you/grateful that hardly any of you had Christmas together, haha. That means next year we'll all be together! I'm pretty pumped about that.

Also, I wear the footy pajamas every night and they're kind of the best thing that's happened to me in a while--especially since I just got sick. 

I'm getting excited for New Years though. We have to be inside at 6:00 p.m. and we don't have any fun plans, but I'm planning on buying some Ruschian Shweppes and watching fireworks out our window/doing area book work.

So yeah, remember how I was talking to you when we got transfer calls? And how I went into shock? Haha Sister Benson leaving Narva was sort of the most horrifying thing I've experienced so far because she is just always on top of things and, well, her Russian always made up for mine. But here's a cool thing: I figured out that I'm on top of things, too! Haha it's been intimidating and a little overwhelming being kind of in charge of the area and making all the phone calls, setting up the appointments, etc. but I had this lovely realization that I'm totally capable of it. Obviously I miss Sister Benson's guts but things are still so good.

It's great, too, because Sister Dalley is so much fun. We just laugh and have a great time in pretty much every situation we're put in. For those of you who don't know, Sister Dalley came to the Baltics at the same time as me. We actually sat together on the plane ride over. She's from Alpine, Utah and she's essentially walking sunshine.

A bunch of stuff has happened since I last talked to you. Sister  Benson's last couple of days were ridiculously busy because it just so happened that a bunch of people that she had worked with but I hadn't met yet just happened to be able to meet. So we met with this single mom, Albina, and her four kids. In the past, they have mostly been interested in English but we had a really good lesson on feasting on the words of Christ and we have another meeting set up with them on Wednesday. 

Also met Pavel, a less-active member who is newly married to a nonmember, Natalia. Pavel is so rad though. He has such a solid understanding of the gospel--we just need to get him to church. He was super nice and he speaks English (kind of) pretty well, so that's a relief.

Vladimir, the fun guy from English, called us yesterday and said he could meet on Thursday. Every time he talks to me, he tells me how much he loves my name...and then proceeds to repeat it under his breath for a while. Haha he's great.

We went caroling the night before transfers to a bunch of members. That was kind of bitter-sweet because the members get super attached to the missionaries here (we work with them a lot more closely than most areas) and they were all sad to see them leave. We sang to Sister Janis and it was so cute/made it really hard not to laugh because we were singing and she was just sobbing. Her heart is pure gold, I swear.

Transfers were kind of crazy because four of the missionaries out of our six in Narva left. That means only Elder Allred and I stayed. Have I mentioned how much I love that guy in a totally appropriate way? He's such a chill person. Super funny too. Last night we went to a lesson with them because they're passing us their investigator, Nina. We were supposed to be there at 8:30 but got there around 8:55 because Elder Allred led us around this complex with absolutely no idea where he was. It was great. His new companion is Elder Bell, who I served my first transfer with in Vilnius. It's fun to have him here because he saw me at the very beginning and he's seen my progress. He told me my Russian is awesome, or at least a lot better than before...which, like, it better be. Haha you'd hope that three transfers would do something for me.

So I had a realization (actually I've been very aware as the process has been happening) that my letters home are turning into the typical missionary sermons with repentance being called every so often. And I remember how cheesy I thought that was, and how it was really hard to relate with missionaries who were like that...and how I always thought they would be weird when they came home. But here's the thing: I felt like that because I didn't understand the concept of repentance. I felt like anytime that people talked about repentance, it meant that I should feel guilty or it meant that I was doing something wrong. And that's not it at all.

Repentance is one of the happiest things about this gospel! When I say repent, I mean that you should stop carrying around a bunch of useless burdens and decide to be happy again; decide to change and be better. It means that every day, you let go of the mistakes that were made and try anew the next day. I don't know why I didn't get that before the mish, but there you have it.

But yeah, the spiritual thoughts I have are just gonna keep comin'. Haha sorry/not sorry.

Oh! Almost forgot about zone conference. It was kind of face-melting good. President Boswell talked about the Savior feeding the 5,000 and broke it down into really cool steps. He pointed out that first, the Savior asked the Apostles to bring all the food that they had (they found a kid who had some loaves of bread and fish) and then he blessed and brake it. He then instructed them to give it to the other people, and by the end, they had more than enough food to feed that many people. 

He related it to the fact that the Savior asks us to bring everything that we have to the table; all that we are and all that we have to give. Then he blesses our efforts and he gives us trials or experiences that break us up and expand our capabilities so that we can be a blessing to others. Lastly, we are able to minister to others and our sacrifices that we thought wouldn't be enough in the beginning turn out to be more than enough. That struck me because, often, I feel like I'm not doing enough or being enough. President Boswell said, "Each of you has already brought everything you have. Your sacrifice is already more than enough. Now you just have to lean on the Lord and ask Him to bless and multiply your efforts." I thought that was pretty rad.

I hope that you all have a great week. Love you to the moon and back a few times.

Love,

Sister Gooch

Week 26: December 23, 2013

C Рождеством!

You know what's weird? I think it's colder where you are than it is where I am. At least, for the past week it seems like that. There hasn't been much snow and I haven't had to wear a hat for most days, so that's kind of a miracle. That also means that there won't be a white Christmas here in Narnia (Narva), but that's whatevs. I figure I'll have enough snow to last me a lifetime in the coming months. Apparently January and February are the coldest months of the year.

But good news! I got my package. Well, not yet. Tomorrow I will. But I know it's in Tallinn and I'm going to Tallinn for Christmas Eve because it's zone conference. We'll come back to Narva that night but everyone was telling me how gigantic it is--I'm so excited! I figure it makes up for me not receiving any mail since I've been here :)

I can't believe that the house is already up for sale! And Taylor Bluth is home from his mission? What the?! I need y'all to tell him hello for me. And Mom, you said that Morgan Holt and Melinda Coates said hi, so give them a big hug for me! And tell them to update me on their lives, sheesh.

Anyways, it's been a lovely week. We went to Tallinn to get a temporary Estonian residence permit for myself and took the Tallinn sisters with us on the way back to Narva to do an exchange. This time I went with Sister Carr and it was a day filled with Heavyweights quotes and teaching by the Spirit, which is the best kind of day, in my book. "Let's do it to it, Lars."

We taught Anya and attended choir, which was a hoot. Sister Janis sat next to me and, my heavens, does that woman have a pair of lungs on her. She loves to sing. She also loves to speak English, even though she only knows how to say, "good job". In Russian, they say моло дец, which means "good jobber", and it's kind of a noun rather than telling someone that they did a good job. She says it a lot. 

Elder Hampton usually directs the choir (and when I say choir, I hope you can imagine the four women from the branch who come and then the elders...sometimes their investigator Sasha, too). Anyway, he directs it and Sister Janis just eats it up when he tells us to straighten our backs and fix our posture. She turned to me and was like, "Sister Goochka, how do you say beautiful man in English?" I told her and she just whispered it over and over to Elder Hampton. I died. Dead. 

And oh! Another wonderful Sister Janis story happened last Monday. We started a family history account for her on familysearch because she has the potential to do a lot of good with the energy and enthusiasm that she has for the gospel. In our first few minutes of the lesson, when we were telling her what we were planning on teaching, her face was really serious. And if you know Sister Janis like I do, it's really weird to see her serious. She got all quiet and we asked her what she was thinking. In her own words: "How did you know? How could you have known?" Haha she had apparently been praying for someone to help her figure out how to do family history work. The whole process of showing her was probably the funniest thing I've ever experienced. I was typing everything in Russian and it was taking a while because I'm not used to the Russian keyboard. Anyway, at one point, I hit the wrong button and it erased this whole entry that I had made for her deceased son. Sister Janis immediately began to pray, "Oh Lord, please help Sister Goochka. Please bless her hands to move swiftly and--" and then the problem was fixed. We were also trying to load a video and it kept pausing. She would hold her hand up and shake it at the screen, saying, "Get out of the computer, Satan!" Again, dead. She's too funny. She also thinks it's hilarious that I have a habit of saying, "Но вот," as a sentence filler because it's apparently really Russian. So that's a good thing, right?

This Sunday was so good. I know I've said it before, but it's really sad to me that you don't know the members and can't experience what I'm experiencing. Svyeta Nikolaeva, a really awesome returned missionary who's like 28 and the best person ever gave me two warm skirts that actually work! See my problem is the fact that I have a bigger behind than most Russians, so it's been kind of a nightmare to find a warm skirt. Haha it was so nice of her though! Every Sunday since I got here, the members have brought me skirts and made me try them on in the bathroom after sacrament meeting. When I walked out with one of the skirts that Svyeta brought me yesterday, Sister Janis, Sister Valling, Svyeta, and Sister Ermohhina (sorry if you don't recognize all those names) were standing together and cheering. Sister Janis said, "Glory to God!" Haha they're really amazing people. 

Sister Ivanova, a 45ish yr old woman who lives in Kohtle Jarve (an hour from Narva, in the direction of Tallinn) brought us these cute little chocolate bars with Christmas ornaments on them. We had stopped in Kohtle Jarve on our way to Tallinn to teach her last week. She has the cutest apartment ever. It's not your average dark, old, Russian apartment. She remodeled the whole thing and it's like the most peaceful place I've ever been. But that's how Sister Ivanova is--peaceful and soft and everything lovely in the world. She is such a strong member and an example to everyone. I know her daughter because she's serving Estonian speaking in Parnu. 

Sister Benson and I have started a "Lost Sheep" program, where we make Christmas packages for a bunch of less actives and deliver them. We were inspired by a really cool promise that Sister Benson heard in the MTC: The harder you work to bring lost sheep to the Lord, the more miracles will happen to bring back your own lost sheep to His fold. I thought that was pretty awesome. I am working my hardest to bring them back not only because I want them as individuals to find the peace and salvation that our covenants bring, but I know that I have a whole bunch of family who needs to come back. There is so much, so much peace and happiness to be found in remembering your covenants.

I've never felt more strongly or been able to speak more boldly about the gospel as I have this week. I guess I had a realization that there is no need to do a disservice to yourself and others by minimizing the importance of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We are all here on this earth to follow the example set by Christ: to have faith in Him, to repent daily, to be baptized, to receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, and to endure to the end. That includes going to church every Sunday and renewing your covenants, whether they be of baptism or your temple covenants. There is no other way--no shortcuts or different roads. Only through repeating that process can we be truly and fully happy. I wish I could put into words how perfectly I know this and how badly I want for each, individual person that I love to come back to that God who gave them breath and repent. Decide to change today and come back, because there is room for you in His fold. I promise that blessings of forgiveness and rest is to be found in the Savior Jesus Christ, because He loves and understands you more perfectly than you understand or love yourself. 

I was thinking last night about what I was doing at this time last year. It was easily the happiest time of my life--seriously, I was so blessed in every way. I had incredible friends and roommates, I was with my family who I love to the moon and back, and I was going to school studying things that I love. But I had a pretty surprising realization last night: I have so much more now. I may have had to give up schooling for now and seeing all of the people I love, but I have an absolute knowledge of the true and living God. I know that I can speak with Him and that He can guide me. I have a much better grasp of what my spiritual gifts and talents are and I am finally learning how to use them. I know Jesus Christ--I know who He is, what He has done for me, and what I can do with Him if I continue to live my life according to His gospel. I have a lot more love for the people around me and for myself. My happiness is not derived from my circumstances anymore, but from my relationship that I have with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

I love you all so much, and I hope that you have a lovely Christmas. Can't wait to talk to you!

Love, 

Sister Gooch

Week 25: December 16, 2013

Hey there!

I have a lot to tell you this week, so I hope you're ready to have your minds blown.

Starting with Pärnu. I guess it's like the tourist capital of Estonia, and it's about two hours out of Tallinn, which means six hours from Narva. Anywho, I had to stay there with two other Estonian sisters while our companions (all sister training leaders) went to a leadership council in Riga. That was super interesting because, first of all, there are hardly any Russian speakers there. All I heard was "Tere!", which means hello. Also pretty sure I heard some Estonian curse words when I tried to speak to people in Russian, haha. But yeah, it's pretty much the cutest town I've ever seen. Apparently it's right next to the best beach in the Baltics; I just didn't get to see it. I was introduced to this Estonian mustard, which is essentially like wasabi mustard. I've never really tried wasabi and I wasn't expecting the effect it had on me: I spread some on a piece of bread like I saw a branch member doing it and took a bite and it just hit me. My immediate thought was, "What's happening to my face?" as tears started to pour. My sinuses went something like WA-BAM! It was really good though so we bought some in the store today.

That night I rode back into Tallinn with Sister Benson and we started our exchange with the sisters there, Sister Carr and Sister Dalley. Tallinn reminds me a lot of Vilnius, except the challenges are a little different because their Russian branch is combined with the Estonian branch. I guess that half of the services on Sunday are in Estonian and half are in Russian. It makes it difficult to have branch unity, and the thing that's a bummer for the Russians is that anywhere they are in the Baltics, they're the minority. So their voice tends to get drowned out and it's harder to get them to feel like they belong at church. But it was cool because I was on the exchange with Sister Dalley (she came out the same time as me) and we had a lesson with a member, Mark. He brought his blind friend that he's been helping out for a really long time. It was actually really sweet because he's somewhat mentally handicapped but he is so pumped about the gospel and his testimony. He said the opening prayer and he literally blessed each of us individually in the like manner: "Please bless Sister Dalley. Give her hope, strength, love, peace, and health. Please bless her family. Bless them to be safe, happy; give them hope, strength, peace, and love. Please bless Sister Gooch...etc." It was kind of adorable. He also bore his testimony twice in the middle of the prayer. Mark is awesome. He said he's getting me a New Year's present because I'm his best friend, but honestly, that's how he feels about everyone. It's great.

Sister Dalley and I get along really well though. We had a ton of fun and she's just about the nicest, most chill person ever. We taught a really powerful lesson on the street in English since the girl didn't speak Russian, but it reminded me of how much I love what I'm doing right now. Sister Dalley asked me what my favorite part of missionary work is and I think it's those moments when you say exactly what the Spirit prompted you to, or you do exactly what you've been guided to do, and you can tell that it strengthens or effects somebody else in a positive way. Being an instrument in the hands of the Lord is just about the best thing I can do for my own self-esteem.

So lots of bus rides this week, which is not fun, but I realize that complaining about having to travel to three different cities in Estonia isn't very grateful. Do you realize how cool my life is right now? I've been especially lucky to have gone to all of the open cities in Estonia except for Tartu. Pretty rad, huh?

Oh, and we found out this week that this transfer ends on the 26th, so I'll be in Narva for sure on Christmas. Which makes me really, really happy. I was going to be so bummed if I didn't get to be here for that.

This week Sister Janis was talking to us after church to set up a meeting for tonight, and she busts out this salmon-brown colored block of something with the consistency of cream cheese and starts spreading it on bread. I sensed that something was wrong when Sister Benson immediately was like, "Actually, we have to get going right now so we'll call you later and be in touch." Sister Janis wanted us to eat this bread with browny stuff on it and thankfully we didn't because I found out later that it was spreadable liver. Did that sink in? Spreadable liver. I am 100% that meat is not supposed to be spreadable, ever. So thank heavens for Sister Benson's wisdom and urgency.

Wanna know what the highlight of my week was, though? For the spiritual portion of our English class, we taught about repentance. This guy named Vladimir came and I'm not sure if he's completely sane or not but he was loving everything that we said. At one point, I said, "To me, repentance means change." (Roughly translated; pretty sure there's not an English equivalent to the beginning of my sentence) But get this: Vladimir whips out a pen and writes down what I said. I don't know if you can totally comprehend how rad this is: I was quoted by a Russian, in Russian. What the?! Granted, it is probably the easiest sentence ever to say, but I was feeling pretty good about myself right about then.

Later in the week we taught Zhenja, who's wife is less-active. I told Ash last week but her name is Masha and she was baptized by Calvin's brother-in-law, which is cool. Anyway, we have been trying to meet with him foreverrrr and it finally worked! We brought Brat Kaben (technically President Kaben as of this week) and had a great lesson. We started it out like this: "Zhenja, we're here to tell you why your attempts at quitting smoking have never worked." We're working on being bold, obviously. Essentially it boiled down to the fact that he, as a son of God, was given the divine power to make decisions for himself. And secondly, that he must have a greater and more perfect trust in God to deliver him from temptation and give him strength. It was a great lesson though. He's going to start the program to quit this week. We are hoping with all of our hearts that he and Masha start coming to church and become the first full-fledged family in the branch. He wants to get baptized in the spring because he has lots of stuff that he wants to fix about his life before then, but we're working with him on that. He's a fun person.

I've been thinking a lot about my area and about the needs of the Narva branch in general, and something that I've been impressed over and over about is that I need to be helping somebody in every interaction I have with them to become fully converted to the Lord. The members here are really awesome and I'm making it sound like they aren't converted, but here's what I mean: there are tons of people in the world who have testimonies that the gospel is true and who come to church every Sunday and are honestly active members, but they aren't fully converted. Full and true conversion is actually something I don't feel like I really had until I came on my mission. It's something that Elder Bednar talks about a lot. (Here's the hint that you should look it up) But yeah, I was thinking this morning about why I'm converted unto the Lord and what has made the difference for me.

Here's what I got:

-I have had daily interaction with either the scriptures or the Lord consistently in my life.

-Heavenly Father always, always, always answers my prayers.

-I guess that you love what you sacrifice for, and my mission so far has been the greatest blessing for my relationship with the Lord.

-I have been deeply impressed with His love and loyalty for me, and I'd like to return the same to Him.

-The way that He works with each of His children is incomprehensible to me, but I have been given a glimpse and I want to be a part of it--I want to be His hands.

-I have tried out His promises and invitations and found more blessings there than I ever could have expected.

-He keeps working with and through me even though I make mistakes and am not always the perfect or ideal vessel for His purposes.

-His understanding of my potential is deeper than mine and I know that if I stick with Him, I can reach it.

-He so perfectly supports me.

-I ask Him for a change of heart and he gives it to me.

-I have made covenants and I seek to understand and honor them.

To sum it all up, I feel like the things that have made the biggest difference for me in truly being converted is daily scripture study and prayer, an understanding and remembrance of covenants, and a study of true and simple doctrine. 

I know that I talked a few weeks about the "art of prayer", and it's been bugging me ever since because I think back on it and think of how snooty that sounds. My thoughts have changed a little bit since then because I think I made it sound like prayer must be this eloquent plea before the Lord, but that's not what I meant. I don't take back what I said about remembering the Savior as your Advocate when you pray, but I think that James E. Talmage says what I am trying to say better than I can: "It is well to know that prayer is not compounded of words, words that may fail to express what one desires to say, words that so often cloak inconsistencies, words that may have no deeper source than the physical organs of speech, words that may be spoken to impress mortal ears. The dumb may pray, and that too with the eloquence that prevails in heaven. Prayer is made up of heart throbs and the righteous yearnings of the soul, of supplication based on the realization of need, of contrition and pure desire. If there lives a man who has never really prayed, that man is a being apart from the order of the divine in human nature, a stranger in the family of God's children. Prayer is for the uplifting of the suppliant. God without our prayers would be God; but we without prayer cannot be admitted to the kingdom of God."

I thought that was pretty.

Anyways, I hope that you all have a great week. The house looks so good! Kind of crazy to see pictures because it looks way different. Good luck with selling it!

Love you all to the moon and back.

-Sister Gooch

P.S. Can you send me the recipe for caramel popcorn and caramel apples? And Sarah Whittier's email address, along with Sadie's? And Leah Derrington's? Aaaand Rachel Alderman's? Thank you!

Also, I haven't received my package yet--don't know if I will before Christmas. It might be in Riga sitting in the mission office, but seeing as Narva is kind of an isolated part of the mission, we don't get mail, like, ever. But I will tell you when I do!

Week 24: December 9, 2013

Hey there!

So I've been on my mission for what, seven months(ish) now? And I had been wondering when I would encounter some food that was just ridiculous and nightmarish, like the stuff you always hear returned missionaries talking about. Well, dear friends, it happened at a birthday party. Kasenja turned 19 and invited us to eat dinner with her at the church last Monday. Her mom had prepared this thing--I don't know what they call it. I'll just tell you the ingredients: mayonnaise, sardines (or some kind of fish with eyeballs. Let me emphasize that again lest you missed it: eyeballs!), onions, beets, and pretty much everything about Russian food that I'm still not (probs won't ever be) used to. I persevered and ate that sucker like it was nothin'. 

Anywho, it's snowed everyday here last week, which is actually kind of nice because that means that every day the ice gets covered so it's not so slippery. Anya (14 year old in the branch) makes fun of me for walking like a babushka but whatevs! Babushki know how to hustle safely, which is what I like to call my method. The bab-hustle.

Ever since I got here, I wondered how people use strollers here because it's freezing and there is a ton of snow, but I get it now! I've seen more people pulling their kids in sleds than strollers lately, so that's fun. I would have loved that when I was little!

As for the weekly Sister Janis story, I actually had a really sweet experience with her. From our last lesson, she had told us that she doesn't quite have a testimony of Joseph Smith and in the lesson, I had told her that we'd print of a talk by Jeffery R. Holland for her. The one I had in mind was "Safety for the Soul", where he bears a face-melting testimony of the Book of Mormon. Even though it has more to do with the Book of Mormon than with Joseph Smith's history and all that, I still felt pretty strongly that she needed to read it. We finally got to meet with her again on Saturday night and basically read through the whole talk with her because she loves to read out loud. And here's the thing about Sister Janis: she is ridiculously faithful and believing. As she was reading, she stopped towards the end and said, with hand over heart, "Sister Gooch, God put it in your heart to give me this talk. I just received a testimony that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. Glory to God! Halellujah!" It was so much more hilarious/endearing in Russian and if you could just see the way her eyebrows go up and down and she bobs her head when she talks. Every time we've seen her since then, she gives me a huge hug and says, "My dear, my beautiful, my little Sister Goochka! God told you to give me that talk, didn't he?" She's the highlight of my day, almost every day.

This week was full of really, really cool experiences, actually. We had an awesome lesson with Sasha. Sister Valling helped us, and I can't remember if I ever told you about her but she is what keeps this branch running. She's the most solid member and she is about 50. Anyway, we talked with Sasha about fasting and we decided to fast with him to receive an answer about whether or not he should be baptized on December 25th. Best present I could think of to give Christ, personally. But anyway, it was one of the most spiritual experiences of my life. Before I fast, I like to write down in my journal exactly what I'm fasting for or any questions I have. Then I pray with my eyes open to begin my fast and read down the list slowly, writing down impressions and thoughts that come to my mind as I go. Heavenly Father always gives me more than I ever expect from Him. I have wondered since I was in the MTC why I was learning Russian. Hopefully my head doesn't seem too big when I say that I can express myself pretty well in English, and I'm used to saying things in a way that makes me feel like I can get my point across in a pretty way. Obviously I can't do that in Russian. I had actually expressed this frustration to Sister Wrigley, my MTC teacher (sorry I talk about her all the time, it's just that she's the best and she taught me some of the most valuable things I've learned on my mission) and she told me to ask Heavenly Father what Russian has to teach me in life. Because obviously everything Heavenly Father puts in our lives has the intention of building us up; we just have to figure out how it's supposed to do that. So I did ask Him but never felt like I received an answer.

Fast forward six or so months, and I just get it now. Heavenly Father wants me to learn Russian so that I can learn to rely on Him and the Atonement completely. I had thought that I knew how to do that--I've always had the testimony that He can make our weaknesses become strong, but I hadn't recognized that He knows how to make full use of me--infirmities and all. That means that He can change every detail about me and make me into something glorious. Every part of me. My time here is teaching me to have a more complete faith in the cleansing and enabling power of the Atonement. And I know I talk about this almost every week, how we can change our weaknesses and become better, but I guess it's the message that Heavenly Father's especially searing into my heart since I've been on my mission. I figure He wants you to know it, too.

Sasha didn't necessarily receive any answers about his baptismal date, but that fast was mission-changing, I think. So I'm incredibly grateful nonetheless.

Had another powerful lesson with a former investigator of the elders (before sisters came to Narva) named Ludmila. If you haven't clued in yet, Russians pretty much have a variety of ten different names, haha. Anyway, we had taught an English class and at the end, for our spiritual thought, we gave everyone a piece of paper and told them to write down the name and contact information of someone they know who wants to change their lives and become better or who would be interested in the gospel. Ludmila referred herself, which was pretty awesome because apparently the whole time that Sister Benson has been here, she's been trying to meet with her. We taught her about repentance using Alma the Younger's conversion story in Alma 36. We explained what was happening as we went and focused on showing her how Alma went through the process of repentance. It was really cool because I've made a goal to memorize a bunch of things from Preach My Gospel in Russian and there was this perfect moment that it came to memory and I said it very slowly; sentence by sentence, and suddenly it just clicked for Ludmila. She said, "I've read this story with the missionaries before but I never understood it!" The Spirit really helped her see how Jesus Christ is connected to the process of repentance, and why we need Him as a Mediator with Heavenly Father. That was pretty awesome. 

Another sweet thing about this week was our other lesson with Sasha, where we talked about the Word of Wisdom. Thankfully, Sasha doesn't smoke or drink, so the only thing he really had to give up was green tea. We asked him what he thought about the whole commandment (not the best question, haha) and he said, "It's like people in the army, right? They have to be physically prepared for battle and they have to condition their bodies to perform well. In the same way, God gave us the Word of Wisdom to keep the condition of our spirits healthy and ready to deal with any of the trials that we have in life."

Here's where one of those movie moments is supposed to happen where I'm in the middle of drinking a glass of water and I spray it everywhere. Future gospel doctrine teacher, right there.

Remember how I told you about President and Sister Dolgovi? Well, he was released as branch president and transferred to Latvia, so now we don't have a branch president. I'm really pumped to see who the new branch president is going to be. I mean, there's not much imagination to use since we only have one priesthood holder, Brat Kaben, but I'm still excited. 

Anyways, I hope that y'all have a lovely week. Crazy that I get to talk to you in like two weeks, right? LOVE YOU.

-Sister Gooch

Week 23: December 2, 2013

Hey friends!

I guess I haven't told you much about Narva. I've mentioned that it's tiny--we seem the same people often and people pretty much know who we are. People call us девченки here, which is pronounced dyevchonkee. But it sounds like dyev-chunky to me, and it means gals or chicks or something. It's slang for girls, so I'm not sure how that translates. Anywho, it makes me feel like a fat little five-year old with lopsided pigtails and chocolate on the corner of my mouth that's just baaarely too far for my tongue to reach. 

Obviously I've thought about this a lot.

I guess it doesn't help that I cut four inches off my hair and now look like an eight-year old. Life is good; hair is healthy. I can't complain.

As you probably know, it's cold here. I had thought that it wouldn't really surprise me because it's not like I'm from Hawaii--but I didn't realize that it would be so painful. Haha it feels exactly like being on a sled pulled by a snow mobile and the snow is just flying in your face and you're not really sure how you're going to live. And there's literally two inches of ice everywhere--I'm terrified that I'm going to fall and break my leg since it hasn't healed from the first day in the MTC. I may or may not be a drama queen, but I'm tellin' ya, it's nothing like I've ever experienced before. And everyone keeps saying that it's normal weather! Apparently it gets to be -27 in January. Happy birthday to me! Also, I don't think I mentioned that I'm serving in the coldest city in my mission. So there's that.

But yeah, this week has been lovely. You know how I'm somewhat fanatical about Christmas? It's like my winter wonderland dream come true here. I bought a Christmas tree and some holly and I'm pretty sure it's going to be the cutest thing ever. I'm also spearheading this Christmas activity in the branch that I'm pumped about. There are going to be three separate parts of the Savior's life that we'll have presentations on: His miraculous birth, His ministry, and His Atonement/Resurrection. 

I love Christmas so hard.

I've come to realize that I will probably have a hilarious story about Sister Janis to tell you every week. This week, we were moving this huge table in the church kitchen to the sacrament hall. Sister Janis came in the door just as we were trying to squeeze it through the doorway of the sacrament hall and immediately she throws her purse down and her hat off her head and starts yelling, "Oh Lord, help us!" as she took part of the table and just ended up making it a lot more difficult. I was laughing so hard. The funny thing is that she doesn't even take the Lord's name in vain: she's literally always addressing Him in prayer. She's the most faithful person ever and it makes me so sad that y'all don't know her.

Another shining Sister Janis moment was on Sunday, when she told me that I look like a beautiful Egyptian. I just--I don't even know where she's coming from. Haha she's so funny.

The branch had an activity where we went to an art museum. It was a Christmas exhibit, apparently, but it had lots of Bulgarian artists. So Mike, that's cool. I also read Bulgarian all the time on the products here and it makes me excited for the fact that we might be able to kind of understand each other when I get home.

And oh my gosh, Ashton is one! So crazy. Nobody sent me pics of him, so let's jump on that next week, shall we? And Thanksgiving! It sounds like it was fun. Mine was pretty great.

As predicted, Sister Benson and I ended up doing the gravy, apple tarts, rolls, stuffing, cranberry cake, and squash. The elders brought chicken and coleslaw, haha. It was super good though--the whole church smelled like America. Which I'm now realizing just smells like food that's going to make you feel like a big fat lard, haha.

Forgot to tell you that Elder Rawlings is from Fruitland, Idaho and everyone gets a kick out of how hick he is. He was super impressed that I know Josh Foster (shout out to Josh!) because he has a huge farm...or something like that. So good job, Josh.

Our trip to Riga was fast--we were literally there for two hours. We had the time to eat at this Latvian cuisine place that was tasty but mostly just tasted like Lithuanian food to me. It was good though. 

It's kind of cool that I can tell that my Russian is a lot better here than it was in my first two transfers. I'm thinking it's due to the fact that Sister Benson and I only speak Russian outside and I'm suddenly able to memorize things really quickly. The gift of tongues is real, my friends. I know it's also due to the fact that I am working harder than I've ever worked and Narva is teaching me some really valuable lessons. I asked Heavenly Father why he sent me here, because I felt like Narva needed at least five Sister Bensons and none of me. We're pretty much young women's leaders here, so it's a heavier work load than any other areas have for sister missionaries. Working with teenage girls who have it really rough in life is difficult in a way that I never expected it to be, but I have never loved people more or felt more like the Lord has expanded my ability to look beyond myself. Essentially, the Lord wants me to learn how to be selfless here. I've thought about the difference between the Savior and me, and in most situations that I would turn inwards, He always turns outwards. I really like who I'm becoming and the missionary that I'm learning to be. It's sad that it's taken me over six months to finally have this realization, but I thought for the first time this week about how honestly and completely blessed I am to be here of all places, doing what I'm doing. I've probably written that before but I've never felt it as deeply as I do now. Sister Benson and I have been focusing on teaching in every situation that we're in and instead of going "contacting", we go "teaching". It's made the biggest difference for me to focus on my purpose as a missionary to teach. It's made me more consecrated, happier, and in general I'm a lot less critical of myself.

I've thought a lot about the art of prayer this week. Sasha told us that praying is really hard for him because he doesn't want to ask Heavenly Father for blessings that he shouldn't. Honestly, I had the same problem before my mission, but it has been one of the most valuable things I've learned on my mission: how to pray in the name of Jesus Christ. I never really thought about it before but when we learn to pray in the name of Christ--to actively think of Him as our Advocate with the Father--our relationship with God and our Savior becomes a lot more than just a list of things that you're grateful for and things that you need. At least, mine did. Praying to know what to say in my prayers has made all the difference. Praying for the Spirit to guide you in your supplications and questions; praying for the humility to be open and willing to receive whatever answers or instruction that Heavenly Father has to give. Imagining the Savior beside you as you speak with the Father is something that's kind of hard to describe, but I just know that if you do it, your life will be more specifically blessed in the places that you need it to be than before. 

I hope that made sense and didn't just sound like me rambling. But I love you all and I'm so grateful whenever I hear from you.

Love,

Sister Gooch

Week 22: November 25, 2013

Hey there!

Can I just say how much I love Narva? Seriously, this place is magical. Not in the sense that it's pretty (there's a ton of construction and it's actually the grayest place I've ever seen--haven't seen the sun since I got here) but I have never been somewhere like it. The people are awesome and I think they love the sisters especially hard because we're the first ones to come for mannny many years. Sister Janis invited us over this week and we reviewed the Restoration with her because she's a little shaky in her doctrine but she loves to share the gospel. It went really great! The only problem with her out-of-this-world generosity and general vivaciousness is that she does not take no for an answer when it comes to food. I still haven't brought myself to liking dill, and she had prepared dill bread with an uncomfortable amount of margarine on it. Sister Benson ate four so I didn't have to eat any, bless her heart.

This week was busy and kind of crazy. I can't remember if I mentioned the fact that Sister Benson is a sister training leader, but she is. We had to go to Riga because there was a mission leader conference there. I wasn't originally supposed to go all the way to Riga; I was supposed to stay in Tallinn (it's on the way) with the Russian speaking sisters there while Sister Benson traveled with a bunch of elders the rest of the way to Riga, but she forgot her passport so we had to stay overnight in Tallinn. I had happened to pack my passport and so I went with her to Riga the next day since the elders left her and she needed a travel companion, but I was secretly thrilled about that. E. Cook sent up her passport on a bus from Narva to Tallinn and we picked it up and left early the next morning to Riga. I was so pumped because Sister McDiarmid (remember, she was in my MTC district?) and Sister Coombs (my MTC companion) are serving in Riga center and I was able to do exchanges with them. It was extra awesome because Sister Roy was there, too. It's crazy that we were all back together again! So happy. They all seem to be doing really well. I forgot how much fun we have together. Even crazier was the fact that Sister Coombs and I went to teach a less-active, Yana, who is the exact same person that we had role-played teaching in the MTC! Sister Wrigley had known her and to meet her after pretending to teach her a few times was kind of surreal. Especially since it was with Sister Coombs. The lesson went well, considering. We hadn't planned at all before. But Yana is awesome--I got to know her and she's super nice and it made me want to serve in Riga so that I could get to know her and her family more.

The bus rides that we have to take lately are killllller though. We're going to stay in Tallinn tonight and then head to Riga tomorrow because Sister Benson has a visa renewal appointment or something there. It's eight hours to Riga and it just barely works out with our schedule that we can't make it in one day's travel. So that's a bummer. But I love hanging out with Sister Carr and Sister Dalley (the sisters in Tallinn that we stay with). They're a hoot.

Church this week was pretty awesome. We had Sasha, our investigator that I hadn't met until then, show up. Sister Benson had told me that he's probably the coolest person she's ever met, and I didn't really believe her until I met him. But honestly, he's just cool. I don't know how else to describe him. He's 23, really relaxed, smart and super talented at videography and photography. He also has a beard and long, curly brown hair, so that's something. He could only stay for sacrament meeting but he met with us at 4 for a lesson. He's a deep thinker and he's the most sincere person I've met on my mission--he really wants to do what's right and he wants to be close to God. During the lesson he was telling us how he doesn't think he's a very good person basically because he's not perfect. Haha he's not very patient with himself. It was cool because I had read the perfect chapter for him in my personal study that morning--2 Nephi 4. It's where Nephi seems kind of discouraged because of all his weaknesses and the temptations he has that so easily keep him from progressing. I had Sasha read verses 17-19, I think. What really hit me was the line in verse 19, where he's talking about how weak he is and he says, "nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted," or something along those lines. Isn't that what makes the difference in everything that we struggle with? I've studied 1 Nephi a lot for the past couple of months, and I feel like it all boils down to the fact that Nephi knew God's character and his brothers didn't. That's really all that was different about them. Knowing who God is and His attributes is essential to having any kind of hope or faith that we can change and become better.

Here's what I would have told Sasha if my Russian was out of this world:

-He has a much better opinion of you than you have of yourself, and He is not frustrated or impatient with your flaws. He already knows how to fix them, and exactly how long it'll take. He's a lot more realistic than us in that way: we always want our weaknesses to vanish as soon as we start working on them, or in a week, tops. But God isn't interested in temporary fixes--He's setting up your life in such a way that it's going to change your very character through trials and experiences. That takes time, so be patient with yourself.

-Although He is merciful, He will always, always expect you to do what is right over what is easy or even understandable. He knows your potential to be extraordinary (He didn't create you to be anything else) and He knows that you won't get there by being less than what you're capable of. He knows that we can be caught in the deception that we can excuse ourselves of excellence because life is hard and busy, but He has given us more than enough sources to look to (scriptures, General Conference, prayer, church, other awesome people) for us to overcome it. 

But alas, my Russian only allowed for me to say, "I can see that you're a really good person. God knows you perfectly and He will help you become better every day." 

Bummer, huh?

Anywho, it's Thanksgiving this week! Sister Benson and I have delegated responsibilities to the rest of our district (we only have elders, so I'm guessing that we'll end up doing the bulk of the work) and we're going to eat as a district in the church. Sister Benson is teaching me how to cook and I've already mentioned this but she's the greatest. We have a lot of fun together and we teach together pretty well.

I'm getting pumped for Christmas--there are decorations in the Rimi that we get groceries at. I may or may not buy a mini Christmas tree next week. And by that, I mean that I will absolutely be buying it. It's started snowing for the past two days, so that's great.

Narva is a very challenging area (I guess it's mostly because we're dealing with teenagers and essentially zero priesthood) but I haven't ever felt more at home anywhere else. It's the most unique city in the mission because its challenges are unlike any other, but I love it with my whole heart. Life is good. Thank you so much for those of you who have been praying for me, writing me, or any other form or support. I love you all and hope you have a lovely week!

Love,

Sister Gooch

P.S. Thank you so much for sending the package!