Mother of pearl, I think this past week might have been the happiest of my life.
It's weird, too, because it's not because Inna has suddenly started doing really well or that anything has been easier. I think it started with Tuesday's district meeting.
Elder Hampton taught about how we should treat other people, and it correlated perfectly with all of the stuff that I learned a few months earlier about how to help somebody change. He talked about how to become the kind of person that enables other people to be their best selves and reach their potential, and how becoming that kind of person has everything to do with becoming like Christ.
It's funny that I'm always surprised to rediscover again and again that just because Christ lived a perfect life didn't mean that he wasn't relatable or that He held people at a distance because they weren't worthy to be in His presence. His influence was one that pulled others close and taught them without hypocrisy or fear that the love he extended wouldn't be returned.
Learning about that kind of love has been the most liberating thing about my mission. It's been an especially powerful lesson that I've learned in the past two weeks.
I hadn't realized it, but over my mission I had come to value being professional and doing things the right way a little more than I should have. Especially training someone! Every little thing that was done incorrectly would stress me out because I felt like being a good trainer meant that I would teach her all of the rules and how to follow them with exactness. I would always think, "What would (insert good missionary's name here) do? How would they react?" and then I'd try to react that way. Which is so dumb! That district meeting made me realize that the only thing I need to worry about is making sure that patience is a part of my character; that my first reaction is to mirror what Christ would have me do and not worry about correcting someone in the way that I think another missionary would expect them to be corrected. Once again, I don't have the words to express the heart of what I'm learning but I hope you can get an idea of what I'm trying to explain.
Elder Hampton used a really cool quote by David O. Mckay, though.
He said, "Every person who lives in this world wields an influence, whether for good or for evil. It is not what he says alone, it is not alone what he does. It is what he is. Every man, every person radiates what he or she is. Every person is a recipient of radiation. The Savior was conscious of that. Whenever he came into the presence of an individual, he sensed that radiation—whether it was the woman of Samaria with her past life; whether it was the woman who was to be stoned or the men who were to stone her; whether it was the statesman, Nicodemus, or one of the lepers. He was conscious of the radiation from the individual. And to a degree so are you, and so am I. It is what we are and what we radiate that affects the people around us. As individuals, we must think nobler thoughts. We must not encourage vile thoughts or low aspirations. We shall radiate them if we do. If we think noble thoughts, if we encourage and cherish noble aspirations, there will be that radiation when we meet people, especially when we associate with them. The effect of our words and acts is tremendous in this world. Every moment of life you are changing to a degree the lives of the whole world. … So, it’s not the surroundings, it isn’t the positions; the thing that will influence [others] in this world, are personalities. No matter what you are people will feel and recognize this. You radiate, you can’t hide it. You may pretend something else, but that will not affect people. It is important … that we seek, both in life and in books, the companionship of the best and noblest men and women. [Thomas] Carlyle, a great English writer, says that “Great men taken up in any way are profitable company. We cannot look, however imperfectly, upon a great man, without gaining something by him. He is the living ‘light-fountain,’ which it is good and pleasant to be near. If you will study the lives of these great “light-fountains” of the world, you will learn of at least one thing that has made their names endure. It is this: Each one has given something of his life to make the world better. They did not spend all their time seeking only pleasure and ease, and a “good time” for themselves alone, but found their greatest joy in making others happy and more comfortable. All such good deeds live forever, even though the world may never hear of them. No good deed, no kind word can be spoken without its effect being felt for good upon all. Sometimes the good may be infinitesimal, but as a rock that is thrown in a pool starts a wave from the center which continues to enlarge until every part of the shore is touched, so your deeds, silent, many of them, unknown, unspoken, unheralded, continue to radiate and touch many hearts."
We were then asked, what are you radiating? What are the three qualities that you most want to radiate in your life? Then Elder Hampton promised us that if we take those qualities to the Lord in prayer, He will guide us in a practical and logical way as to how we can make them a part of us.
The same promise applies to you!
It's been amazing to me how simple it is to do that, and how much it's changed my attitude. It's suddenly so much easier for me to care about other people in the way that they need it, to find the good in places where it isn't immediately visible, and to make other people feel comfortable with themselves.
I feel like learning how to help others change is like learning how to flip on a light inside of yourself. It's cheesy, but I honestly feel radiant lately. Radiant in the sense that I feel like I'm learning how to love people in such a way that they can recognize the light in themselves. Marianne Williamson said it perfectly:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
So yeah, this week was mostly wonderful because I'm feeling brighter and just happy in general.
We had our movie night that we've been planning for a month now and it went so well! Honestly, it couldn't have been more perfect. The picture that I attached may not look like much, but it took so much work! A few miracles went into it: 1. We found vinyl to make the stars out of. Second time that being an expert with vinyl has come in handy on my mission! I felt so at home standing in the store with all those rolls of different colors of vinyl and sticking the final product on the wall. (Mattie, remember the squirrels that we used to save?) So happy. 2. We found a red velvet curtain! 3. The elders were able to make partitioners (the things with red rope that make it clear that you're standing in a line at the movie theater). 4. We made legitimate movie tickets online. 5. We made our own popcorn bags that were adorable. 6. We cut out big stars and every person who attended got to write their name on it like a celebrity and then stick it on the wall. 7. We were able to darken all of the windows with sheets so it was actually dark while we watched the movie. 8. We finished decorating right as people started to show up. 9. We were able to make brownies and cookies aaaand provide beverages. 10. We moved in a couch and the whole atmosphere was just like a movie theater! I don't know if you realize how hard it is to make a sacrament hall feel like a movie theater. It was quite the accomplishment.
Zhana (the less-active I've been focusing on working with) came as well! And a bunch of investigators. It was a much-needed opportunity to strengthen relationships with less-actives, investigators, and members. President Spalvens told us we should do it every Saturday, he loved it so much.
And as a perk, we got to watch Frozen! IN RUSSIAN! That movie is adorable, and I think that the fact that it was in Russian made it a million times more enjoyable. So cool that I can watch movies in Russian and understand it!
We all took pictures together afterwards and it was another surreal moment where I thought to myself, "There's nowhere else in the world I'd rather be."
I love Daugavpils.
Another cool thing about this week was that the Spalvens introduced us to their daughter-in-law, Inara. She's here with her daughter on vacation until September 1st and she wanted me to help her with English. (Turns out that when you tell members that you're an English major, that automatically means you're the go-to person whenever somebody needs help with English...which is something that I can totally live with.) For some reason, Inara and I immediately clicked. Teaching her is really cool because she has been taught by the missionaries off and on for two years and so she already knows a lot about the gospel. She is a very contemplative person and a logical thinker, so the gospel and faith in general doesn't make much sense to her.
As I was teaching her, something came out of my mouth that I hadn't realized but that is totally true!
When you're first studying the gospel (or even when you've been in the church for a long time but haven't put a concerted effort into learning truth), faith and God kind of seem like an abstract concept. It seems like a bunch of random things thrown together and called the gospel because we couldn't think of anything more specific to call it.
But what's miraculous is the more that you study it and the more effort you put into understanding the basic truths of the gospel that are contained in the scriptures and in the words of modern-day prophets, the more logical everything becomes. You realize that each truth is not only connected, but that each truth is dependent on another truth, and in that way they support each other and can't be separated. I told Inara that the more I study it, the more I realize that it has to be true and that it's the only thing in the world that makes perfect logical sense to me, and how I know that God can teach her specifically and individually and in a way that will make sense to her.
I love teaching. I'm not the best at it but there is nothing that feels better than saying something that makes a light bulb go off for someone else.
Good news about Inna, as well! We had a lesson with her and Sister Spalvena helped. She re-explained tithing and it was received much more kindly, haha. Inna understands it but doesn't think she has the faith to live by it. We're working on getting her to recognize the steps of faith that she has already made and then how she can use the Atonement to let her faith grow.
Another miracle was that we were finally able to meet with Zhana! That's one of the biggest miracles of them all because she has been avoiding meeting with missionaries since 2011. Literally, it was the first time that she's showed up to a meeting in three years. So cool! She agreed to meet weekly and come to church every week. Man, I love her.
So many things made me laugh this week. Real quick, I'll tell you about a phone call I had with Ruslan, a less active. I called him to invite him to movie night. He usually doesn't answer the phone and has been inactive since about May. But anyway, he must have been drunk because he answered the phone and after I explained to him about the movie night, he asked what movie we'd be watching. I told him Frozen and he was like, "You know what movie is better? A Walk to Remember. I adore that movie. That girl got cancer and that guy totally changed his life because he loved her. What a cool movie! So awesome. If you were watching A Walk to Remember, I'd be there in a heartbeat." He literally gushed about it for five minutes straight. Cracked me up.
Another thing was that Elder Saviola turned to me during district language study and said, "Sister Gooch, your spirit animal is most definitely an otter. They are an extremely intelligent creature and they fall asleep on their backs holding hands. That's just something that I can see you doing." Haha loved that analysis.
Anyway, I'm out of time but I love you all! Also wanted to say good luck moving into the new house and thank you times a billion for doing it while I'm not there, haha.
Love,
Sister Gooch
P.S. The picture is of with me, Elder Hampton, and Sasha. Awkward butt sticking out, I know. I decided to own it instead of deleting it though. WERKIN IT.
