Week 66: September 29, 2014

I counted this morning and we are sleeping with seven layers of blankets (and a few tablecloths due to the lack of blankets) on our beds. That's not even taking into account that last night I slept in thermals, the wool hiking socks that Big J sent me, and the onesies that you sent me last Christmas. I seriously debated just keeping the onesies on when we went running this morning. 

So yeah, our apartment is freakishly cold even though the weather isn't too bad. Summer is definitely over though.

This week, we decided to turn our apartment into a soup kitchen and BAKE ALL THE THINGS. Sister Roy has a lovely bread recipe and we made six or seven loaves of bread for members and soup for daysss. Plus brownies. We (or rather, Sister Roy) came up with the idea to drop off dinner and a pre-made family home evening spiritual thought for the members who are too busy to meet. We're dropping off our first batch tonight and it's going to make me feel like such a Relief Society woman from the 50's. I'm trying to figure out how to make my hair do that beehive thing and start using exclamations like "hot dog!" and "by golly!" more often.

Yesterday at church, I was writing a note to attach to a loaf of bread in the kitchen when a member came in and looked at the fact that I'm a lefty, then said, "Левша!" That means southpaw. I had learned that word just to be obnoxious but it turns out that I actually needed it! I nodded and got really excited about it but I bet that he thought I was pretending to understand because it's quite colloquial. Either way, I've been feeling an abiding sense of satisfaction ever since.

I had an enlightening realization that I'm only going to have time to share one part of this week. 

In the beginning of Helaman 5, we learn that Nephi, a prophet/chief judge of his people, is dealing with a bunch of crap. The government has become so corrupt that their concept of justice doesn't even look remotely like the real thing and, put simply, "they who chose evil were more numerous than they who chose good."

I don't think that it's too far-fetched to say that Nephi had plenty of restless nights, asking the Lord what more he could do and feeling incredibly heavy in his heart as he watched things spiral steadily downwards despite his best efforts. 
So, to me, it made perfect sense when I read that he gave up his position to the presumably wicked Cezoram. The guy had exhausted all of his resources in trying to help these people and asked to be guided in every aspect, but in the end it didn't make a difference to them. His cries to return to that God who gave them breath fell on deaf ears, or at least they fell on ears who would rather be their own god instead of the One who actually requires His creations to become something worthwhile. 

So yes, giving up when you've fought for as long as you have the strength to is not only understandable, but it's logical. It seems sometimes that, in the circumstances that we wrestle with, we're trying to chase the tide away only to realize that we're just under the required size to stop an ocean from moving.

I would have guessed that that's how Nephi felt if I hadn't read further.

If those had been his true feelings, then he would have abandoned society altogether and spent his days plotting out something unchanging that he could have faith in, like the waxing and waning of the moon in a cave somewhere. Or at the very least, he would have found a nice little home one the outskirts of town so as not to be further bruised by the rejection of his people.

No. Obviously "hopeless" was not the most accurate word to describe how he felt because he decided that he was going to devote allhis time and energy to the one thing that he had perfect faith in: the gospel of Jesus Christ.

What strikes me is the humility that had to be such a fundamental part of Nephi's character. Even though everything about his circumstances indicated that any extra effort on his part would be useless, he had the humility to recognize that perhaps the Lord needed him elsewhere or to try something a little different instead of assuming that his work was finished altogether.

How tempting is it to count the obstacles that we repeatedly face as insurmountable when it seems like our best efforts aren't cutting it?

Well, join the ranks with the greatest examples of faith in the scriptures: there's always a first time to part the sea, to build a boat, to walk on water. The prerequisite is having the humility to acknowledge that your ways are not His ways and that the tidbits of knowledge that He gives along the way are enough to keep both of your feet on the ground.

The Lord has a harvest of blessings prepared for each of us, but He isn't interested in just the giving of blessings: it matters to Him how it's received. The difficulties that we pass (or crawl) through are the Lord's way of preparing us to receive the gifts that He gives us for what they are. He wants us to have eyes that can find value and worth in the overlooked; to learn how to see the full depth and dimensions of our blessings.

You can guarantee that if you're experiencing any kind of opposition in your life, the Lord is trying to change your heart to be more like His. Perhaps if we looked at our trials in this light instead of mourning the fact that they exist in the first place, we'd be more likely to recognize the divinity of our circumstances and, by extension, we'd be less likely to give up and throw in the towel. 

If Nephi had done so, then 8,000 people at the very least never would have found the peace and solace that comes with repentance and baptism. 
And who's to say that the humility with which you get through trials won't effect just as many? We are eternal beings and the consequences of our actions are eternal, so the decisions that we make really do mean something generations down the line.

Deciding to have faith in what you can't see why will always, always lead to moments in your life when you'll look back and see that decisions you made that had seemed to be small and insignificant actually made the biggest differences. Heavenly Father is a great rewarder of those who believe that He is always good on His word.

If you're looking for an enlightening scripture study, then read Helaman 5 and ask yourself what gave Nephi and Lehi the power to continue working with all of their heart, might, mind and strength even though they were weary. Remember that the answer is applicable to you and what you're experiencing.

I love you. I hope that this week is better than the last or the one before that and I hope that your gas tank lasts longer than usual and that you find some way to doubt your doubts instead of your faith. 

С любовью,

Сестра Гучка

P.S. Today, we're going to Salaspils with the district. It's about 45 minutes away by train so that's why we're emailing so early. But apparently there used to be a labor camp there and it's got a monument from WWII so I'm pumped! Hopefully pictures will follow next week.