Week 49: June 2, 2014

You know what's humbling?

Seeing people from the third transfer of my mission for the first time since then and them telling me, "Wow! Last time I saw you, you couldn't even speak! Now look at you!" Then there will be a sheepish response from me that gets interrupted by, "Literally, you were terrible! So, so bad!"

Welp, I didn't think I was too shabby in my third transfer but I'm grateful that I'm hearing their perspective now and not then, haha. 

What a week, though. We said goodbye to Sister Cook and Sister Haws, which was sad in one way and slightly relieving in another. I love, love, love them.

Also, we finally had our Heritage Night! I don't remember if I've told you how long we've been planning this thing but it went so much better than I expected. A lot of miracles actually happened throughout the course of the whole day. First of all, we were lost trying to find a little thread shop that Lidija had given us directions to when we ran into this lady that S. Roy had taught a few transfers ago but has since then dropped off the face of the earth. We invited her to the activity and she actually showed up! Her name is Lena. Another cool thing was when we were getting everything ready, Inna (our investigator) called. She said, "Sisters, I miss meeting with you so much. I have been thinking a lot about your church and I think that it's something that I need in my life. It will take a lot of time but I am desiring to be a part of it." Well, excuuuuse me while I do a heel click. 

The whole night was just an incredible witness to me that God hears and answers our prayers. For the past two transfers, we've been struggling to get the members to fellowship Inna and it's been hard because it was starting to feel like we'd tried everything. During that activity, though, I'm pretty sure that every member was able to talk to Inna a little bit and get to know her because the environment was more comfortable for them. I almost cried when President Spalvens asked me to move over so he could talk to Inna for a while. 

We ate food and watched 17 Miracles afterwards. Couldn't have been more perfect.

The next day we woke up real early and took a train to Riga. We were super early to the meeting with Elder Bednar, so we went to Lido's for lunch...or technically breakfast, but lunch makes it sound less gross. Lido's is classic Latvian food and it's like a huge buffet that's so good. 

The meeting with Elder Bednar was so much more personal than I thought it was going to be. He said that he had only been in this small of a setting with missionaries (there were about 40 of us) three times in the past ten years. I don't have the time to describe exactly how the meeting went because it was mind-blowing in how he constructed it, but the whole thing was a discussion. That terrified me at first because the thought of speaking to an apostle and in front of the whole zone was intimidating but Elder Bednar is the most humble person I've ever met, so over the course of the meeting, I almost forgot that he was an apostle. I would have forgotten except for the fact that the room had the same feeling of being the temple the whole time, and it was a clear evidence of the fact that he is a specially witness of Jesus Christ. 

Of course, I was still nervous when I commented on things and ended up saying the word "genuineness" and then backtracking and being like, "Wait...is that even a word?" Elder Bednar said, "Yes," with total confidence, then looked down at his watch and added, "it was just introduced into the English language as of seven seconds ago." Ahh well. I'm not an English major or anything.

He said something that has changed me, though. He said, "Not shrinking is more important than surviving." Thinking about my mission and how I've chosen to go through the hard times makes me realize that I was just focused on surviving. I would often find myself thinking that what I was going through is ridiculously hard, so it's understandable if I am struggling and feeling defeated. What Elder Bednar made me realize is that I wasn't relying on the Atonement in those moments. I wasn't asking Christ to help me with my burdens--I was just waiting for my afflictions to go away and calling it patience. Deciding not to shrink in this very moment requires us to reach outside of ourselves and to rely on what the Savior has already done and is already willing to do for us. It has to do with us deciding not to just "get through" difficulties, but to put all of your heart and soul into learning from and making the best of them. 

The more that he talked, but more that the Spirit impressed upon me the fact that Christ is not a Savior for the half-hearted. He cannot save those who only give a little bit of themselves to be saved. He requires the whole heart, the whole mind, the whole outfit. He isn't satisfied with taking away a few of your burdens or a few of your weaknesses, and neither should we be. He is a God of the whole, and if we are to be His, then we must give the parts of us that we mistakenly cling to.

As I've thought about what that means for myself, another thing Elder Bednar said really cut me to the core. He said that if we asked God to see ourselves as we are, we would realize what total hypocrites we are; how we preach one thing and then do the opposite, but are too blinded by our pride to see it. (To be fair, he also said that we'd see how well we're doing with certain things and how we don't give ourselves enough credit at times.)

In trying to give of my whole self, I have been humbled beyond words to see the things that I have always brushed over about myself that I want to change. I haven't walked away from that conference with Elder Bednar with a more analytical attitude towards myself, but I've realized that I need to be expecting more of myself as a missionary and individual. It's made me understand that, with as much potential as I was born with, I shouldn't cheapen my experience in mortality or my life to come by never facing the truth of who I am and who I can be.

We stayed the night at S. McD's and went to Latvian Area conference in Riga at a conference center. Inna and Lena came! It was so perfect because Elder Bednar taught the whole Restoration but did a lot better job than I could have, of course.

The bus ride back with the branch was beautiful. We took the scenic route with bumpy roads but it was worth it to see all of the wildflowers and old houses or barns with trees growing through the middle of them. I love the Baltics with all my heart.

I wish I had more time but I want you to know that I love you all. Thanks for being so thoughtful and for sharing with me the strength that you have. I need whatever form of support that you have to give :)

Love,

Sister Gooch

P.S. The pictures are of us with a sickle and us sawing Elder Hansen in half. We've always wanted to do that.

Week 48: May 26, 2014

Has it seriously only been a week? So much has happened that I feel like it was a few months ago that I last wrote to you.

So, first of all, I absolutely love the sisters who are staying with us. It's been crazy figuring out our schedules and all that, but it's also been a huge blessing to have them here. Sister Cook is from Salem, Oregon and we have had fun reminiscing about Curt Bateman or whoever that kid was that McCall was in love with. Haha she's one of the funnest people I've ever met. She can quote any movie or tv show and she always has something hilarious to say in any situation. I love it.

Sister Haas is also really fun. It's fun to have them around because they keep things light and it's kind of impossible to get too upset about anything. Plus they're still in training so we've been their "trainers" and teaching on the street with them is a hoot. Just yesterday a guy asked us if we have a program where he can find a new wife and Sister Haas nods her head emphatically and says, "Of course!" I died.

We had a last-minute exchange in Riga, which I loved just because Sister Haas and Sister Cook are in awe over every new thing they see. I went with Sister McD and Sister Cook for the day, and it was one of the funnest exchanges I've been on. In Sister Cook's mission, they're not allowed to talk to men or teach them. Poor girl, because we happened to teach Roman, an investigator with a baptismal date, and in the middle of the lesson he gets up and takes his shirt off because he was so sweaty. I didn't really blame him because it's like 1,000 degrees here but it was still a little awkward keeping eye contact. Sister Cook stared straight ahead at the wall the whole time, and I couldn't really stop laughing. You know how sometimes you can make your laughter silent? Well, it wasn't one of those times. I sounded like a wheezing donkey for a little while there.

Highlight of the week, though, was gardening again at Valentina's neighbor's dacha. Her garden is so cute! That's what one of the attached pictures is of. We got to go there twice. It was funny because once the elders had to leave, we decided to stay and finish weeding her strawberry patch. Valentina and her neighbor, Angelina, were talking about the church. Angelina isn't a member, so she was baffled as to why we weren't dating the elders. She kept repeating, "It's a nightmare! You're young and you should have a burning love in your life!" I laughed pretty hard about that and shed a tear in agreement.

Honestly, though, there is nothing better than doing service here. I love that they always feed us sandwiches with tomatoes and sour cream on them, along with tea from their garden. They gave us a huge bag of onions, cilantro, and tea leaves. I've said it once and I'll say it again: I love these people.

Something that I've been studying is obedience and its relation to vision. Everyone always talks about "blind" obedience, and I've put some thought into figuring out what exactly it is that makes obedience blind. Here's what I've got: obedience is blind when you are doing something just because it's something that you've always done without recognizing or noticing the fruits of it, or doing something because you fear judgment of other people or because it's what everyone around you is doing. Then, and only then, can you call obedience blind. Otherwise, obedience is the only thing that can really give us vision; that gives us the ability to see things as they really are. That's the definition of truth: things as they really are, were, and will be. Obedience and truth are connected by default, and you can't have one in abundance without the other. I told you about the talk by Elder Richard G. Scott on the subject. It's called "Fruits of Obedience", and it blew my mind how many there are and how they don't seem to have much to do with obedience. If you strive to be obedient to the commandments and the promises (covenants) you've made to God and, in some cases, to your spouse, then here are the fruits of your efforts: integrity (a cement in relationships and the foundation of spiritual communication), peace, a quiet inner support, being prompted to know what to do in any situation, understanding more the things that puzzle you, a future without limit, inspiration and power beyond your imagination, discipline (backbone of a noble character), an ability to facilitate the proper use of time and agency, order and consistency to your life, having your priorities straight, a capacity to work and receive joy from productive work, an ability to make up your mind and have resolve, not reanalyzing your decisions with every new circumstance, charity towards others, ability to forgive those around you and yourself, a love of service, giving, and reaching out, with your first thought being for others, being demanding of yourself in a way that allows you to seek for personal improvement, being trustworthy, having inspiration to know what to do and the power or capacity to do it, being endowed with power to do, to serve, and to give, having confidence in yourself to make wise decisions, to be humble with the assurance that whatever you are asked to do in life can be done, to be spiritual and capable of being used as an instrument in the Lord's hands, having a noble character, you will discover latent talents and unknown capacities, raise the vision of others and be a saving influence in their lives, more easily become who you want to be, and, most important of all, you will find in your being a love for your Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. It will become stronger and stronger until all you truly want to do is determine what they would have you do and, with their help, accomplish it.

If you write each of those blessings down and study them individually, a greater light and clarity of vision will come into your life. Heavenly Father does not ask us to shut our mouths, nod, and obey Him in whatever He says. His is an invitation to live with eyes wide open, being conscious of the consequences of our actions and, by extension, being aware of the blessings that we receive from being obedient. Something else to recognize is that obedience doesn't mean not having any questions. I am convinced that if anybody truly studies the doctrine and teachings of this church, it is impossible not to have questions. I have several that I'm pretty sure I can't find an answer to in this life, but the simple fact is that in this church, the truth of what we know will always trump the mysteries of the things that we do not know. That's because of the quality of truth that we have. If the Book of Mormon is true, then it doesn't matter where dinosaurs fit into the whole picture (you might think I'm being facetious but that's seriously one of my questions). It doesn't matter what kind of mistakes past church leaders made or how tedious the surface level conversation with your relief society president is. The fundamental truths that we hold dear are enough to weather any doubt, question, or misconception that we might have. 

I love you. Thank you for being so supportive and thanks for your prayers. I can feel them all the way over here in Latvia.

Love,

Sister Gooch

Week 47: May 19, 2014

Hey!

I feel like so much has happened in the past week. We picked up the sisters from the Rostov, Russia mission and they've been with us for the past two days. They're waiting on visa work so we're not exactly sure when they're leaving. It's been fun, though! And stressful. Mostly stressful, haha. Daugavpils is pretty small so it's kind of crazy trying to plan each night and make sure that we're all being effective. They're really nice and laid back though. Their names are Sister Haas and Sister Cook. They keep telling us how beautiful Latvia is compared to Rostov, so I have a renewed appreciation for the Baltics. It really is pretty here.

Sadly, Zita leaves for England today. She'll be staying there until August, but she said she'd like to do lessons over Skype, so we're excited about that. The hope is that we can pass her off to the missionaries in Isle of Mann (that's where she'll be) or something so she can actually meet with them in person. I've never taught over Skype but I'll let you know how that goes. We'll miss her: she's one of the sweetest people ever. 

Art club has been going alright. We decided to combine it with English class and teach an English art class because not many people came for just the art club. It would be cheaper to advertise for and less stress on me to teach everything 100% in Russian, so we're going to start it back up in a few weeks. It's cool though because I feel like my art skills have improved a lot just from teaching it. 

We've been able to do a lot of service though! It's been some of my favorite days on my mission. We helped Valentina garden, and then she asked her neighbors if they had planted yet and they said no so we went and gardened for her two neighbors. It's hilarious to help Valentina because she is the most manly babushka I have ever met. She's super strong and has this weird dog whispering ability. There are tons of big dogs here (especially at the dachas, or summer home things) and every time she opens her mouth to yell at them, they immediately listen. Humans do the same for her, especially when she's telling you what you're doing wrong with the plow. It's funny though because for some reason she really thinks I know what I'm doing. She came up to me in church the other day and was like, "Sister Gooch, I just wanted to tell you that it was so cool how you were shoveling that dirt the other day. You just (insert grunt and impersonation of me stomping on a shovel to get it further into the dirt)! Ha-ha-ha! Hee-hee-hee!" That's a direct quote, haha. She grunts a lot in a very Russian way. Maybe Jared can explain it to you. Anyway, she taught me how to plow and we planted potatoes. How fitting is that? It was really fun and I am quite sore because of it. We're going back on Tuesday, so I'll be sure to take a picture of how picturesque her neighbor's garden is. I love days like that.

As a side note, I finally bought a bible in Russian! Sister Roy and I have been struggling along for the past two transfers because neither of us had one but we found a book store and the one I bought looks sweet. I might send you a picture later today because we're splitting our email time. 

So I've had a surprising discovery in the past few days. I've been pondering a lot about what it takes to help a person change, because that's essentially my purpose here in the Baltics. Whether it's my investigators, members, or companion, I'm supposed to be helping them improve. So in praying about it, I've come to a realization. Are you ready? Here comes the boom:

Who you are and what you do matters a lot more than who the other person is and what they do. 

So often we see room for improvement in a loved one and we wish they'd somehow change or we just tell ourselves to stop being judgmental. I want to emphasize the difference between being judgmental and being too easily satisfied. I read a quote by C.S. Lewis that says, "It would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea. We are far too easily pleased." And, in the same sense, we can settle for less than we deserve and are capable of if we are going to hid behind the mask of tolerance rather than rolling up our sleeves and rooting out the things that make us ungodly, including helping others do the same. I am not suggesting that we make mountains out of molehills and begin to attack at every visible weakness we can discern. Rather, I'm saying that we should determine to become enablers of change.

There are a few essentials to becoming such a person. First and foremost, it requires loving like Christ does. Being accepting as He is means realizing that the faults and imperfections of another person (and, by extension, yours) are temporary and must be treated as such. If you always think of them in the same light with the same old shadows, it makes them feel incapable of change and has a paralyzing effect on relationships. Christ helps people form new, fresh views of themselves. We need to make the necessary changes in our hearts to do the same. 

It also requires listening to their concerns if they have them (you can assume that they do, or they're probably not breathing) and don't try to solve them all at once. Just try to understand them and why they feel the way they feel. Chances are that their actions and character will make much more sense and you'll see past the surface imperfections to what they're actually struggling with. Before you even think about pointing out the flaws in their logic or giving them what seems to be an obvious solution, realize that you're treading on sacred ground. The guidance of the Spirit is the only thing that will assure that something worthwhile comes out of your mouth, and it's in these moments of clarity that you can have great impact on the person. When someone feels truly understood, then they are generally ready to listen to what you have to say.

Praying for the gift of discernment enables you to see their potential and point it out to them. Tell them of the things you could honestly see them accomplishing or open their eyes to their gifts and ways to further develop them. None of this will mean anything, however, if you're telling them things you wish they had. If your attitude and comments are not coming from a genuine place, then the effects will be the opposite of what's desired and trust will be lost.

In all things, be genuine. If you don't honestly believe it, then it's better not to say it. If you are genuine and seeking the Spirit's guidance, you will succeed in helping the person lift their eyes to the higher plane of eternal perspective. Don't expect change to manifest itself anytime soon, but be unwearied in your efforts to raise their sights because you are building them up to lay a foundation for the rest of their lives and their eternity. If we were dealing with light bulbs, then we could just reach up and tighten it a little to make it shine again, but we're dealing with eternal souls here and they require more diligence and love to make them shine the way they were designed to. The way that we love people in this life will effect the way that they view themselves and this world, and it'll effect generations beyond us. We must not become so easily pleased that our posture toward eternal life becomes slouched and noncommittal. We must not settle for lives lived half-heartedly. That's not what we're here for. We're not here to indulge in things that will ultimately leave us empty. We're here to seek out the truly precious and valuable things in this world. You have to have enough love for yourself and others to keep each other from settling, because we were made to be much, much more than just good people.

So an enabler, in essence, is someone who is a conduit of truth and shines it in such a way as to allow others to look to their example and learn how to shine for themselves. Light is infectious and because of our identity as children of the very Being who embodies light, the possibilities of spreading it are as infinite as the spirits inside us.

I really love you. I know that's easy to gloss over when you read it, but what I mean in that tiny phrase is that I love you perfectly (or as perfectly as an imperfect person is capable of loving) for the person that you are. I love you for all of the things that I've learned from watching you and for all the times that you've talked to me and for being funny and for teaching me how to laugh at myself and for loving me back. You're the very best people I know, and I take you with me everywhere I go. Mostly because I have lots of Mom quotes in the back of my head but also because I am who I am because of who you are. So thanks for that.

Love,

Sister Gooch

Week 46: May 12, 2014

It was so, so, so good to talk to you guys.

Is there any legal/ethical way to stunt Ashton, Riv, and Yvey's growth until I get home? They're so big! And cute. Sister Roy said Riv's gonna be a lady killer.

We found out so many exciting things this week! I already told them to you but just in case it didn't sink in, Elder Bednar is coming to Latvia on June 1st! He was supposed to go to Ukraine but things are crazy there so we're sloppy seconds! I'm so grateful to be in Latvia because none of the missionaries in the other countries get to come to Riga and hear him speak to us for three hours. Woo hoo! Also, Elder Rasband will be there. He's a Seventy. 

Another thing is that two sisters from a mission in Russia (we don't know which one) will be staying with us from the 17th to the 30th of May. So, starting this Saturday. Not exactly sure how Daugavpils is going to keep from exploding with 10 missionaries here (the elders are also getting two Russian elders), but I'll let you know how that goes.

We had an exchange with Sister McDiarmid and Sister Ixthluac (I don't know how to spell her name last week. It was so good to be back with S. McD! We laughed pretty much the whole time and it was fun to update each other on our lives. It's been about eight months since I've been able to talk to her.

Also, I love Sister Ixthluac to death. I know that expression doesn't really mean anything and it's vague but I have a lot of respect for her. She went to Harvard and she's the humblest, most positive person ever. Every exchange is great with her.

We met with Zita again this week. It was weird because I felt like I received a lot of revelation as to how the lesson needed to go and exactly what needed to be said, and the whole plan kind of seemed bullet-proof. As soon as we sat down at the table to teach her, though, both of us knew it wasn't right and that we shouldn't teach her the lesson we had planned. I was super confused because I was thinking, "is this just me chickening out or is this a prompting that I'm supposed to follow? And if it's a prompting, then what are we supposed to do, because we don't have any other lesson plans." We ended up sticking to the original plan and it didn't go very well. I was talking to Elder Dodge about it and he said something that I'm still thinking about: that sometimes Heavenly Father will test us to see if we will follow the Spirit in all circumstances. I had thought that by following through with the plan, I was showing confidence in the revelation that I received and therefore doing the right thing but I guess not. Still figuring that out.

You all mentioned that you wanted me to give more details in my letters that I don't feel like anyone would care about. Sooo get ready! It's gonna be random.

Number one infuriating thing about the Baltics might possibly be the fact that they don't have standardized staircases. They are always uneven and I fall up them all the time because I don't always look at where I'm putting my feet. Pretty sure they just eyeball it when they're building stuff, haha.

Story from last month that I'm still laughing about but wasn't totally confident in my ability to express it in an email: we were on a ghetto Dpils tramvai and we always stand on those things and leave the seats for the multitude of babs. So we were standing in the front of the tramvai and this gigantic bee (they're bigger here) flew over by these two babs and a guy who looked like he's lived with his mother his whole life. His mom just started going at it with her arm, trying to crush the bee against the window. So just envision a bab blindly whacking her arm against the window and yelling in Russian, saying the equivalent of "get away from my son!". Meanwhile, Sister Roy and I are becoming increasingly confident in the fact that the bee is starting to get murderously angry, and mama bear bab hits it over to innocent bystander bab, all the while yelling, "Get it! Get it!" So innocent bystander bab starts going at it with her arm, and Sister Roy was almost having a heart attack at the fact that the poor bee wasn't doing anything to anyone and was being savagely attacked. The next stop, they all got off and the cherry on top of this whole thing was that the whole time, the son of mama bear bab (somewhere in his late 30's-early 40's) who has been staring at us the whole time is going down the stairs, then last minute fights his way backwards and very gingerly places a candy in Sister Roy's palm. With a wink, he was gone.

Words can't really describe how awkward that last moment was and how hard we laughed afterwards. 

Another thing was from when Sister Ixthluac and I were on our exchange. We stopped a guy and he was a little intimidating and the whole conversation was really awkward. It was one of those conversations that you have and nothing comes out like you want it to. Plus, Sister Ixthluac is only in her second transfer and as she was trying to ask him a question, he just started laughing because neither of us were speaking very understandably. We walked away being like, "Well, it doesn't get more awkward than that." But ohh, we spoke too soon. A few hundred feet down the road, we crossed the street and we heard footsteps running behind us. We both turned around to see him running toward us and so we stopped to talk to him again and he was like, "Sorry, I don't want to talk again, but that's my girlfriend," pointing to the girl standing right behind us. 

Second time that's happened on my mission and it still hurts to think about.

I'm attaching a talk to this email because I love it and I've been studying it a lot. It's from the 70's, so excuse some of the weirdness that you'll find, haha. But he talks about how knowing who we are makes all the difference in the world in the way that we live our lives and make decisions. Knowing that we're children of God shouldn't just inspire us: it should define us. Inspiration isn't the last stop in our gospel learning. It's taking the things that we're learning and letting it become a part of us. 

I'm tryin' real hard to practice what I preach. I feel like I've learned a ridiculous amount of things on my mission and I hope they've changed me for the better.

I love you all. Send me more pictures of yourselves. Selfies, if nothing else, haha.

Love,

Sister Gooch

Week 45: May 5, 2014

Hey everyone!

It has been such a good week. We got on a night train from Moscow (which means that it looked a little bit like Harry Potter if you squinted one eye and pretty much closed the other) that stopped in Daugavpils and went all the way to Riga. It was weird to be on a form of transportation and not hear Latvian over the speakers, but just pure, sweet Russian. We had to wake up at 4:30 to make it so we were pretty exhausted by the time we made it to zone conference. Latvia is so beautiful though. Everything is turning green and wildflowers are starting to bloom in the countryside. It was our last time seeing Sister Benson, so it was nice to be able to say goodbye before she headed home. They also announced transfers, which was fun. It never happens with the whole zone together. Sister Roy and I are together again in Daugavpils, which is exactly what both of us were hoping for but not expecting because she's already been here for four transfers. Never wanted to chest bump someone so bad.

Another exciting thing about transfers is that Elder Hampton, who I served with in Narva for a transfer and was our zone leader here, came down to Dpils with a trainee, Elder Grimes. They are both awesome and really fun to work with. And also, Sister McDiarmid is coming back to Riga to be our new sister training leader! I am so pumped about that because we haven't been able to serve in the same country since we got here.

Although we weren't able to meet with Zita, something really cool has happened with her. We've been working on getting her to be more open about any questions that she has so that we can point her in the right direction as to where to find answers. Well, she finally took it to heart and has been texting us with her questions. Her first one was, "Can you remind me why God doesn't give us answers to our prayers right away?" It makes me so happy because it's like proof that she's truly thinking about what we're teaching her, and that it's not just going in one ear and out the other. 

We were able to meet with Inna again this week. I swear, the more opportunities that I get to teach people, the more I can feel my love and understanding grow for them. We weren't able to get the quit smoking program totally ready because we haven't been able to find a member that is free to help us out with it so we moved it back a week. What we did do was watch the Restoration film with her and teach her about authority. She's great because right after I finished explaining the concept of authority using the example of the difference between a policeman giving me a ticket and a garbage man giving me a ticket, she said, "Okay, so in application, this means that baptism isn't valid if the right person doesn't perform it." She's smart. That made sense in her head, but since she doesn't believe that the Savior actually helped anybody by dying, it's hard for her to believe that God's restored gospel could change anyone in our days. She said she wanted us to send her daily scriptures though, so she is still wanting to learn more.

I don't know if I've mentioned this, but we have sports night every week on Saturday. This Saturday we showed up to the usual soccer field and there was already a team there, mostly comprised of 15-8 year olds, plus their coach who looked exactly like Brat Noren from the MTC. (Shout-out to Brat Noren! Miss ya and hope everything's going well!) They invited us to play with them, so we did, thinking that even though they had more people, we would be fine because they were mostly little kids. Well, we were pretty much dominated. Kids here are so, so good at soccer.

Which reminds me: the pictures are 1. Sister Roy and I laughing really hard because of the previous 10 attempts to get a decent picture and giving up, and 2. Do you see that little tornado? His name's Pashka, and he is insaaaane. 

It was fun though and we're hoping that they'll be there next week.

President Spalvens invited us over to eat shashlik, too. It was such a pretty day and it was yet another moment that seemed surreal because we sat in the back yard of this little green, wooden house with a garden and greenhouse next to us while the smell of grilled meat filled the air. I told Lidija that if I closed my eyes, it almost felt like America.

It was so good though. I had the realization that I will be really sad to return to American food after eating so well here.

Randomly, I've thought a lot this week about the phrase, "Love is blind." Now bear with me, here, haha. I read a talk by Bruce C. Hafen about it and it kind of blew my mind. He made the point that love is not blind; it is bound. And the more it is bound, the less it is blind. I've thought about that in the context of consecration and my missionary work. I interpret bound to have the same meaning as dedicated, or consecrated. Often I find that there's a choice we can make when we have something that requires commitment in life: we can either hold back some portion of our heart and keep ourselves from experiencing as much pain, and by extension, as much joy or blessings, or we can plunge into it wholeheartedly. That's applicable for relationships, jobs, missions, educations. I've thought about the moments on my mission where my heart just aches like I never thought it could, and compared it to the moments that I've held back a part of myself for the sake of keeping myself from experiencing pain. In the moment, the first was harder to experience, but in retrospect, it is much more painful for me to think about the fact that I didn't give it all that I had in every circumstance I was in. I want to be the kind of person who gives my all to everything that I dedicate myself to, and so I guess that I'm really lucky to be where I'm at because there's not better place to learn than on a mission. 

I love you all a lot and hope you have a great week! Thanks for your prayers and support, by the way. They really do carry me along.

Love,

Sister Gooch

Week 44: April 28, 2014

Hey folks!

It's been a real good week. One of the pictures I attached is the portrait that I drew of Sister Roy (Obviously hair is a struggle for me) and then the other one is of the zoo. I'm now moving on to drawing a portrait of Anna, so wish me luck with that sucker. She's cute though so it won't be too rough :)

I forgot to tell you that a few weeks ago, we finally got a chance to do service for Sister Shamshura. We basically just stacked wood for her, but it was so nice to be able to help her. It gave me a chance to get to know her a little better and ever since then, I've felt a lot more comfortable talking to her. 

This week we were able to stack wood and help Valentina garden. I was turning over the soil with a shovel and the whole time, everyone was so impressed with my technique and they kept saying, "Well, she is from Idaho. Of course she knows what she's doing." I didn't bother mentioning that picking raspberries or peas while my grandpa trims or digs is about the extent of my gardening experience, but I thought it was pretty funny. 

During that time, I made the mistake of not understanding a Star Wars reference and consequently asking what it was from. Now Elder Hansen is determined to tell me every detail of the whole saga (can you call that a saga? I've never seen it). We're about two hours in and I just found out who Darth Vader is. I'm counting my lucky stars that it's only on Mondays that Elder Hansen has to, in his words, "culture" me. He's a hoot.

And, random side note, there's a fair that came right by our apartment and every day we walk by it, I feel like we're in America because it's usually playing music from Grease and there's a ride with the statue of liberty on top. It feels like summer here.

Last week we were able to go to the zoo as a district and that was really fun. I was actually super impressed with Daugavpils' zoo because even though it's tiny, it looks awesome. As you can see from the picture, it looks like a jungle inside. The coolest part to me was that they had lots of open cages and there was a colony of ants crawling along the branches above our heads. I took a picture with a monkey for Riv. He would have loved it. 

We also went to the Crepist (a really old fortress) and it was fun to go through all of the underground tunnels. We didn't have much time but I figure I'll be here another transfer so I'll go back sometime.

My favorite part of the week was our "girls' night" that we had with Zita, Lidija, and Anna. We watched Joseph Smith: Prophet of the Restoration in English because all of them are fluent and it's more powerful that way since Zita speaks better English than Russian. Zita is a very tender person and she cried for most of it. She didn't understand why Joseph had to go through so much and why so many innocent people were persecuted and killed. She said, "It doesn't seem fair that he received all of those things from God and then he didn't even get to do anything about it before he was killed." It was cool to be able to say, "Well look at where we're at right now. We're in a church building in Latvia because of what he did. He didn't die in vain because we're here." She came to church on Sunday and she is doing really well. I really love her a lot.

We also had another lesson with Inna on Saturday. Teaching her English is so fun. For the spiritual half of the lesson, she wanted to read the Book of Mormon, so we read the intro and answered a bunch of her questions. We're also going to do the quit smoking program with her on Thursday, so we're happy about that. She came to sacrament meeting on Sunday and even though she came late and left right afterwards, I asked her what she thought about it and she said, "It's like medicine here." I'm so excited for her to find out that she can have that kind of feeling with her 24/7. She told us on our lesson on Saturday that "the Mormons live a perfect life". I thought that was interesting and it made me want her to find out for herself all the more.

I finally finished reading Doctrine and Covenants! So many things that I've always skimmed over have jumped out at me. I started reading the Pearl of Great Price and something in Moses 1 struck me. In the first chapter, it tells of God's visitation with Moses and how He shows Moses the world and all of His creations therein. I circled every time that He addresses Moses, because a few times, he says "my son", and if you pay attention to what His message is to Moses, it's a lot about his divine potential. It's interesting to contrast that with Satan's appearance soon afterwards, where some of the first words out of Satan's mouth are, "Moses, son of man". Aren't the differences between the two so illustrative of every situation in our lives? It is always the Spirit of God telling us that we are His; that we have potential to become just as He is and that we need not stoop below our privileges. On the other hand, it's always Satan trying to make us forget who we are and Whose we are. For Moses, it was very clear that it was God talking to him and then that it was Satan talking to him. In our days, it's not quite as easy to distinguish the source of our thoughts, of the comments of others, or of anything that we choose to listen to or surround ourselves with. I think this experience that Moses has is a good example of what we can apply in our judgments, though. We can determine if whatever we are hearing or thinking builds us up to become as God is or if it diminishes our potential and stunts our growth. By those measures, we can know perfectly the source of whatever it is we're dealing with. 

I realize that making decisions in life is hardly ever that black and white, but I think that the more we apply small truths like this, the easier it becomes to see things as they really are.

I had always thought that the more involved people were in this church, the more "Mormon-y" and less relatable they become. Now that I'm here, I realize that's just plain stupid. Of course there are people who are more judgmental and don't seem to understand the most basic Christlike character of service and charity, but basing our activity and studies in this church on the conduct of others is pure idiocy. Our religion and God's purpose for us is to soak up as much truth as we can and to study and to become and to not take the easy way out of things by stepping away from the church because we think "the members are way too judgmental". Our attitude should be to be the change that we'd like to see--to be the example of acceptance and Christlike service that we wish we could see in our wards or branches. Let's think a little less about what we'd like to become and a little more about what God created us to become, because I can guarantee that His vision is going to leave you a lot happier and capable. God didn't make us to be acted upon: He made us to act. We are the forgers of our faith and it is up to us to fulfill and magnify our callings in the best way that we know how, so that we can be beacons to those who otherwise wouldn't have stepped up without our example.

I love you all and I thank God every day that you're a part of my life. I'm prayin' real hard for you every day and I'm grateful that you're doing the same for me.

Love,

Sister Goochka

Week 43: April 21, 2014

Hey folks!

Did you know that in Daugavpils, they paint gigantic Easter eggs and then put them out on the main street for the whole week? It is so cool. Pretty sure that a bunch of artists are hired to do it because the eggs are rad. 

Easter was good, by the way. The weather here feels like summer and going outside for the first time without a scarf and coat made me feel like a turtle without a shell. It's just cool enough for me not to hate my life, so here's to hoping that it won't get hotter!

Speaking of Easter, I know that most of you know this already but I'll throw it in there for those of you who don't. In Eastern Europe, it's normal to walk around and tell people, "Он воскрес!" and then they respond, "Воистинну Он воскрес!" Translated, that's "He is risen (or resurrected)" and the response means, "Verily (in truth), He is risen!" It's a great conversation starter and kind of fun that people actually respond to it. Easter here is like a blend of decorating eggs and stuff like we do in America but different in the sense that it seems a little more centered on the Resurrection side of things. It's like the best of both worlds. There are also lots of Easter desserts, like this raisin bread frosted muffin thing with jelly candies on top. Not altogether unpleasant, but the lemon-blueberry pastry that some members gave us was better. Also, there are cookie things that I remember Jared introducing me to just before I left that look like nutshells but inside there's sweetened condensed milk. 

We finally got to meet with Zita again this week! Lidija helped us on the lesson. The lesson was similar to one that I had taught Sasha in Narva, because we made a flow chart with trust in the middle. It showed that, for one, we can trust Heavenly Father and secondly, we can trust ourselves because we have repentance and access to the Atonement. We also discussed how we have to trust Him to receive answers to our prayers and what the difference is between being worthy and being perfect. Zita couldn't answer that when I asked her and I'm pretty sure that it's a common misunderstanding. 

We also taught a woman named Inna who has been in Ireland the whole time I've been here but was finally able to meet on Friday. She's a very straightforward person and has a rough kind of exterior at first but is really nice once you get to know her. We taught her English for thirty minutes and then the next thirty minutes we basically just asked her what she wants to get out of life and what she wants to change. As always, everything she listed off is able to be fixed by the gospel. 

It's in situations like that where I always wish that people could just have the knowledge that I do. Not saying that I know everything, but I feel like the more you study this gospel, the more that it makes total sense. To me, nothing less than what we know from the scriptures and modern day revelations makes sense. Sister Roy and I were talking about it the other day, how a lot of churches are concerned about being saved, but I wonder how often they truly contemplate the meaning of "saved". Does it mean existing somewhere in the clouds abiding in eternal bliss, or playing a harp, or just floating around without pain? The only logical thing is that we continue to progress and continue to grow in our knowledge and talents, because that's what we've done our whole existence: before this life, during this life, and after this life.

I've thought a lot about how knowledge is power in its purest form. That's also something that I love about the church: we accept all truth, because we know that God is the source of truth. Taking it a little further, a scripture in D&C says "intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence": simply put, the more that we seek to learn truth, the more open we are to receiving additional truth. Mathematically, we don't learn new truths one by one (addition), but for each one truth we're opened up to many more (multiplication). I just tried really hard to express how that makes sense in my head, haha. Hopefully it worked.

It makes sense that God makes us have faith and be believing before we can have a certain knowledge, though. It's not like we give anybody who wants to be a doctor a degree and a scalpel right after they express the desire. They're required to go through school and to learn for themselves rather than have all the information told to them. It's the same thing for us in life. God's not going to raise an excellent person up just by telling them what it takes to be excellent and telling them all the truth that He knows. He raises excellent people by requiring faith and experience because we have to have our character and knowledge seared into us.

This week the sisters from Riga also came down to Daugavpils for exchanges. It was super fun because I got to be with Sister Ixtlahuac and Sister Nikolaeva: a trainee in her first transfer and a native from Narva. It's always surprising to be put with a younger sister in the mission and then realize how much you've learned because you compare it to how much they don't know. The funniest thing ever was teaching on the streets with Sister Ixtlahuac because she always, without fail, would stop the drunk and homeless people. Sister Nikolaeva and I were laughing so hard the first time that we couldn't even help her out because Sister Ixtlahuac stops this guy who we saw coming toward us. He would stop every few feet and stare at something in the distance, and his beard was stained yellow from years of smoking and drinking, and he was swaying...very obviously not in his right mind. Sister Ixtlahuac had her face an inch away from this drunk guy's face and was yelling into his ear, "Вы вообше верующий человек?" I probably slaughtered the spelling on that, but she was essentially asking, "Are you a believing person?" She's like this little ball of sunshine and she's always super happy, so it was a great exchange. 

We also started art club this week. It's kind of funny because only one person showed up and she's kind of my worst nightmare because she walked in and was like, "Let's see what you can teach me," in a challenging, awkward kind of way. I felt so weird because then she was like, "I'd like to see your art work." So I showed her a few things that I've drawn while here (one of them being a forest) and she was like, "You are afraid of the unknown. You do not have confidence in your ability to try new things and you cling to your past." Haha orrrrr I really like the trees here and figured I'd draw them...

She's a little crazy but made it fun at the same time. We're drawing self portraits so I'm frantically trying to teach myself how to draw to her standards.

Anywho, I love you all. And I guess I'll be talking to you soon? I haven't heard anything yet so I'll tell you when I do.

Have a lovely week!

Love,

Sister Goochka