Week 52: June 23 2014

I don't know what Latvians say to each other on Ligo, so I'm gonna go with "c праздником"! It's an old pagan holiday where they worship the sun, which I find ironic because apparently it rains every single year. We're going to celebrate by hiking the Krepist with Lidija, Sasha, and the rest of the elders in our district, which I'm excited for/preparing myself to get muddy up the waz.

We had such a good week. First of all, we got to meet with Inna three times (!) and each one accomplished exactly what we had planned for it to accomplish. Maybe it's just with Russians, but it is so hard to walk out of a lesson and be like, "That went exactly as we would have wanted it to go", because there are usually tangents about already being baptized or the fact that their babushka taught them the Russian Orthodox prayers or that they have a hard time because religion isn't their "job" like it is ours. 

We've been able to reset some expectations with Inna that have given her a clearer vision as to how she can start making changes. In our first lesson with her, we taught the Plan of Salvation using a new object lesson that Sister McDiarmid showed me when I was in Riga. It worked pretty well but admittedly would have been a disaster without Lidija. She saves everything, in every situation that she's in, with her teaching skills and general talent at working with people.

She did such a good job of getting Inna to want to read the Book of Mormon even though it's hard to understand for her. Inna also said that she'd like to be baptized in August, but wouldn't put a specific date on it because she doesn't know when she will feel okay about getting her wound wet. She got stitches two days ago.

Inna cracks me up though. She texted us later that night and said, "Dear sisters, I cannot read the Mormon's Book. It is not understandable and it making me to be annoyed. I hate it. We will must have to read together." 

That probably would have alarmed me coming from anyone else but I know that Inna has a temper and with a little (or maybe a lot of) patience, she comes around. After asking around our zone for some suggestions as to how we can help Inna understand and read the Book of Mormon, we went to her last night and read Moroni 7 with her. It was Sister Clark's idea to have her come up with a question that she can ponder while she reads, so it was, "How can I become more patient?" 

It was one of the coolest lessons I've ever taught. Lately I've been rereading the New Testament and focusing on how the Savior interacted with people. Like I said, Sister Clark coming has made me realize that I rely too much on what I can say (and there's usually a lot of it) rather than helping people teach themselves. The beginning of the chapter was rough going and she ranted for a few minutes how the words individually make sense but when you string them together they lose whatever meaning they had. As we moved through the verses, Inna would reiterate what was being said to make sure that she understood, and she asked a bunch of really good questions. It was so easy to see the Spirit guiding the lesson because she would ask a question and the next verse would answer it perfectly. At one point she stopped and said, "Sometimes my temper scares me. I think that I acted with evil in my heart, but then when I am sitting down and thinking about it later, I wonder if it really was evil. I wonder if it is very bad to be angry." 

I was so excited that I essentially said, "Well, strap on your helmet and flip the page over to verse 15!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

Not really. I sometimes wish I could pull off being that cheesy when I teach.

But it was awesome because that's where Mormon tells exactly how to decide when something is of God or of Satan. 

When the lesson was coming to a close, I asked Inna if she had received an answer to her question. She said, "Yes, I have. I would like to reread this chapter and think about it more." She also gave the best prayer that I've heard her say so far to close it. 

I really love her.

We're going to go over with the elders tonight to give her a blessing of healing.

Oh! And funny side-story: one of the times that we were over at Inna's, somebody called her on Skype. She asked us if it was alright for her to answer real quick, and we were like, "sure!" 

She answered the call and I happened to glance at the screen right when this gigantic Russian man with only underwear on was adjusting his camera. Sister Clark almost died. It was pretty hard not to laugh while Inna just talked to him like it was no big deal. Classic. I'm going to love memories like that about my mission.

Another awesome thing about this week is that we got to teach Zita on Skype! She agreed to meet with the missionaries in Isle of Man, which is going to be sooo good for her. I miss her.

Yesterday the branch started teaching temple prep class, and it was actually really good. We had to peace out early because Sister Clark was super ill, which kind of bummed me out because we were going to miss out on the branch luncheon and the bonding opportunities that would accompany that. Later, Elder Hampton texted us and told us that it was probably a good thing we left because the liver stew they served would have made us even more sick.

What can I say? The Lord knows me.

Once again, we were able to work on Angela's garden. The weather has been nice and cloudy so it's actually really pleasant. I think I want a(n?) herb harden when I get home. Or at least pots with herbs in them, seeing as I'll be in college...

Anyways, things are good with me. I've realized that training must be something similar to parenting in the sense that you have all of these good ideas and things that you know you don't want to do and things you want to try, but then when it comes to the heat of the moment or even the daily grind, you find out if those ideals were actually a part of you or not. I'm learning a lot about showing consistency in my actions, which I guess just means that I've been learning about integrity. Each transfer I feel that I've been thrust deeper and deeper into the refiner's fire. I remember something that struck me in my Book of Mormon class at BYU: that the refiner knows the metal is refined and pure when he can see his reflection in it. 

The idea of God purging me of my imperfections seems almost abstract if I look at it through the microscope of day-to-day life. It's hard sometimes to comprehend how, exactly, God expects to make me perfect. I love what C.S. Lewis said about it.

"The command Be ye perfect is not idealistic gas. Nor is it a command to do the impossible. He is going to make us into creatures that can obey that command. He said (in the Bible) that we were ‘gods’ and He is going to make good His words. If we let Him—for we can prevent Him, if we choose—He will make the feeblest and filthiest of us into a god or goddess, a dazzling, radiant, immortal creature, pulsating all through with such energy and joy and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine, a bright stainless mirror which reflects back to God perfectly (though, of course, on a smaller scale) His own boundless power and delight and goodness. The process will be long and in parts very painful, but that is what we are in for. Nothing less. He meant what He said."

If we strive to live daily with enough humility to qualify for the companionship of the Holy Ghost, all of the things that rob us of our peace of mind will fade and pale in comparison to the times when we knew that we were guided and comforted by the Spirit of God. 

I know that because that's how I've felt looking back at my mission and my life in general. It's amazing to me how imperfect I am and was, and yet Heavenly Father could still make something beautiful out of my want.

I love you all a lot and hope you have a lovely week!

Love,

Sister Gooch

P.S. Big J's bday is coming up...7/7/87, da? I'm so sorry. His is the only birthday I can remember anymore, haha. 

Week 51: June,16 2014

Дорогая семья,

I got a haircut today, and I walked into it telling myself, "It's okay if I hate it, because my hair is going to be waaaay healthier and it'll grow back before I go home." And that's essentially what I'm still telling myself, haha. It's like a 90's throwback with how she blow dried it with the ends flipping out just above my shoulders and if clothed in overalls I'd look pretty at home.

So there's that. Pictures may follow next week.

This week has been crazy though! First of all, we went to zone conference in Riga and I met Sister Clark on Wednesday night. Poor girl's luggage got lost so she didn't have anything to wear for a few days. 

I got to see Sister Dalley, though! I was pretty pumped about that. She and Sister Roy are opening Imanta, Latvia back up for sisters. When I heard that, I almost died of happiness. Both of them are going to be awesome. I miss Sister Roy a lot, but I know she and Sister Dalley are probably having the time of their lives together.

Getting back to Daugavpils from Riga was quite the experience. We went to the train station and it was all taped off, so we had to wait until 6 for a bus. We got home super late but it was kind of a fun bus ride because I heard the people talking in English in front of us and got to know them a little bit. Their story was fascinating to me because there were 3 of them, all from different countries. The guy was from Budapest and the girls were from Germany and France. They were headed to Daugavpils for a mutual friend's wedding. I don't know how a person can have best friends in Budapest, Germany, and France, but I want that to be my life, haha.

We got into Daugavpils around 10 and pretty much crashed. I don't think I've ever been this consistently tired in my whole life, but things are good!

We got to garden again at Valentina's neighbor's, which was the highlight of my week, as always. Angelina is her name. I told her how we pray and she stopped me and asked, "Who taught you how to do that?" I told her that my parents did, but that it's how we pray in the Church. She put her hand over her heart and did that babushka grunt and said, "Oi, I need to come to your church on Sunday. You need to teach me how to do that." She's adorable. Sister Clark and I booked it right after she fed us tea and strawberries and left the elders to take all of the food that she would inevitably force them to take.

We went to Inna's our second day together to check up on her. Sadly, she's been experiencing a lot of opposition. The night after we did the quit smoking program, she was walking in the dark and she fell and cut her leg pretty bad. The elders gave her a blessing while we were in Riga and she was doing so well! She called us and said, "Sisters, I feel...Святой Дух." That might only be funny to me because of her mix of English and Russian, but that means "the Spirit". Unfortunately, though, her family went over the next day and she said they yelled at her and told her that her injury is God's way of punishing her for trying to change her religion. She also smoked again. Thankfully, we have talked a lot about opposition with her and how Satan knows that she's onto something good, so of course it's going to be hard. She picked up the gospel principles book and told us that she's read a lot of it. When I asked her how she felt about it, she said, "I believe it all." Ahhh! That was cool. It's awesome to see her faith building.

We have a lesson with her and we're taking Lidija with us today.

Sister Clark's first Sunday was pretty funny, in my opinion. I told her to get ready for Relief Society to be a bunch of babs yelling at each other, but it was more of a joke than anything. But then it actually happened, haha. Valentina can get feisty. Sister Clark didn't really know how to handle it, but the thing is that if you actually understand what they're saying, it's not as heated as you think. They're just Russian and opinionated...and hilarious.

Anna left Daugavpils as well, which is super sad. I already miss her, but I get to say goodbye today. 

Training is the weirdest feeling in the world. It's brought back a lot of memories of my training, and I was reading from my 1st transfer journal today. My mind was blown because I sounded totally different and I feel like I was five years younger, at the least. It has been a much needed reminder, though, about how much I relied on the Spirit in the very beginning. I didn't recognize how much I've learned to lean on my own understanding of the people and the language, so it's been cool to refocus on the basics.

Sister Clark herself is awesome. She's really sweet and has a great attitude. I mean, she traveled all the way to the Baltics by herself and then lost her luggage and then got stuck with me, so she's a trooper. Like I said, she's from Vegas. She attended BYU before her mission and randomly chose Russian as her major even though she hadn't even received her mission call. She didn't have time to study it beforehand, but that's what she's going back to. She actually studied Hebrew and knew my roommate, Leah Derrington. Small world!

What's funny is that her first day here, we had to go to the store and she literally bought three blocks of cheese, a gallon of milk, and some meat. Her diet of meat and dairy could not be more opposite of how Sister Roy and I ate together, because we essentially ate all fruits and vegetables with oat milk or soy milk. It's going to be a fun transfer :)

I just want to say thank you again for the shirts that you sent me, by the way. They have been a life saver because the weather is getting pretty hot. 

Something that I'm really grateful for this week especially has been the gift of prayer. I don't know how often I've taken the time to recognize how cool it is that, of all the titles God could give Himself, He chose for us to call him Father. I've tried to make a concerted effort on remembering who He is while I pray, and the consequential blessings have been an abiding peace and knowledge of my acceptance before the Lord. I don't know if you understand what that means to me as a missionary, or as a human being in general. That peace and knowledge of acceptance is certainly not only for missionaries, and it's something that I would want for you to do personally. Life seems a lot more beautiful when you're on the same page as the Creator of it all.

I love you. I feel like your prayers for me are what keep my world spinning at just the right rate.

С любовью,

Сестра Гуч

P.S. Mike and Nicole, you better document your trip to Chicago really well. And eat some good foods for me, alright? Aaand I want pictures of Riv with the dinosaurs.

Week 50: June 9, 2014

I'm turning into a cat whisperer. In the mornings, we exercise in the little park right outside our apartment and there are three cats that usually hang around: an orange one (Crookshanks), Tabby cat, and Mafia cat (black and brown). I taught Tabby cat to walk along my side, but running is a work in progress. Crookshanks and Mafia are slightly feral, but I still got them to come to me. Next task: teach them to recognize the emotion of sorrow.

The sun goes down at about 11:30 p.m. now and rises at 4:00 a.m. It makes it more difficult to sleep, so that's probably why I have been more tired lately than ever before. But it's all good because this week was so happy.

We had a really powerful lesson with Inna. We had planned to talk about the Plan of Salvation but it ended up being all about prayer. The thing that's surprising about her is that she always says that she doesn't believe in God and that she's a terrible person and all that, but then she shares really spiritual experiences that she's had and tells us that she always prays to God when she needs help. I think that people here often say that they're atheist just because that's what they were told when they were younger, but they don't actually know what being atheist means. Such is the case with Inna.

She prayed for the first time and it was really cool because after she finished, it was quiet. After a little while, I asked her if she felt that. She reached up and put her hand on her heart and nodded. Moments like that, where the people I'm teaching have actually felt the Spirit and recognized it, have been so rare on my mission. I value those moments more than I ever thought I could.

Sunday was a pretty miraculous day as well. Inna came to all three hours of church, and another guy who Sister Haws and I had found came too. Actually, it was the guy who asked if he could find a wife in our church! They both came and they both bore their testimonies. Which was more like they got up and said thanks for inviting me and I hope to see you all again. Viktor was the guy's name and he said, "I'm hoping to fall in love here, but if not, that's okay. I'll invite all of the youth I meet to attend your various activities." What more could we ask for?

A kind of funny thing that happened was when I had to translate for Sister Boswell in Relief Society and all of the sisters were telling Inna not to read the Book of Mormon first, but rather start with something like the Gospel Principles book because it's easier. I tried to correct that train of thought but basically got a bunch of babs telling me to shove it...and then had to translate that to Sister Boswell. It was one of the funniest/horrific things I've experienced. What can ya do?

We did the quit smoking program with Inna after church, and that was interesting because we did splits with Sister Boswell while one of us had an interview with President Boswell. The lesson went perfectly and my interview with President was cool because it was a lot longer than usual. He's such a powerful person. I don't know how else to explain him but it was kind of sad because it's the last time that he and Sister Boswell will be in Daugavpils. We get to see them once or twice more and then they're headed home. 

They also brought the package from you guys! Can I just say how puzzled I was when I pulled out the chihuahua sweatshirt? I love that thing. And sheesh, I'm pretty sure I have enough earrings to last me the rest of my life. You're the very, very best people I know.

Transfers are tomorrow but I'm 99.99% sure that I'm staying here (President Boswell told me) to train the new sister coming in. Her name is Sister Clark and she's from Las Vegas. That's the extent of my knowledge on that one, but I'm so excited! I feel like I'm still in training myself, so we'll see how this next transfer goes. We're going down to Riga on Thursday for zone conference and I'll pick her up then. 

Sorry this week's email is so short but I love you all! And I'm praying for you. 

Love,

Sister Gooch

Week 49: June 2, 2014

You know what's humbling?

Seeing people from the third transfer of my mission for the first time since then and them telling me, "Wow! Last time I saw you, you couldn't even speak! Now look at you!" Then there will be a sheepish response from me that gets interrupted by, "Literally, you were terrible! So, so bad!"

Welp, I didn't think I was too shabby in my third transfer but I'm grateful that I'm hearing their perspective now and not then, haha. 

What a week, though. We said goodbye to Sister Cook and Sister Haws, which was sad in one way and slightly relieving in another. I love, love, love them.

Also, we finally had our Heritage Night! I don't remember if I've told you how long we've been planning this thing but it went so much better than I expected. A lot of miracles actually happened throughout the course of the whole day. First of all, we were lost trying to find a little thread shop that Lidija had given us directions to when we ran into this lady that S. Roy had taught a few transfers ago but has since then dropped off the face of the earth. We invited her to the activity and she actually showed up! Her name is Lena. Another cool thing was when we were getting everything ready, Inna (our investigator) called. She said, "Sisters, I miss meeting with you so much. I have been thinking a lot about your church and I think that it's something that I need in my life. It will take a lot of time but I am desiring to be a part of it." Well, excuuuuse me while I do a heel click. 

The whole night was just an incredible witness to me that God hears and answers our prayers. For the past two transfers, we've been struggling to get the members to fellowship Inna and it's been hard because it was starting to feel like we'd tried everything. During that activity, though, I'm pretty sure that every member was able to talk to Inna a little bit and get to know her because the environment was more comfortable for them. I almost cried when President Spalvens asked me to move over so he could talk to Inna for a while. 

We ate food and watched 17 Miracles afterwards. Couldn't have been more perfect.

The next day we woke up real early and took a train to Riga. We were super early to the meeting with Elder Bednar, so we went to Lido's for lunch...or technically breakfast, but lunch makes it sound less gross. Lido's is classic Latvian food and it's like a huge buffet that's so good. 

The meeting with Elder Bednar was so much more personal than I thought it was going to be. He said that he had only been in this small of a setting with missionaries (there were about 40 of us) three times in the past ten years. I don't have the time to describe exactly how the meeting went because it was mind-blowing in how he constructed it, but the whole thing was a discussion. That terrified me at first because the thought of speaking to an apostle and in front of the whole zone was intimidating but Elder Bednar is the most humble person I've ever met, so over the course of the meeting, I almost forgot that he was an apostle. I would have forgotten except for the fact that the room had the same feeling of being the temple the whole time, and it was a clear evidence of the fact that he is a specially witness of Jesus Christ. 

Of course, I was still nervous when I commented on things and ended up saying the word "genuineness" and then backtracking and being like, "Wait...is that even a word?" Elder Bednar said, "Yes," with total confidence, then looked down at his watch and added, "it was just introduced into the English language as of seven seconds ago." Ahh well. I'm not an English major or anything.

He said something that has changed me, though. He said, "Not shrinking is more important than surviving." Thinking about my mission and how I've chosen to go through the hard times makes me realize that I was just focused on surviving. I would often find myself thinking that what I was going through is ridiculously hard, so it's understandable if I am struggling and feeling defeated. What Elder Bednar made me realize is that I wasn't relying on the Atonement in those moments. I wasn't asking Christ to help me with my burdens--I was just waiting for my afflictions to go away and calling it patience. Deciding not to shrink in this very moment requires us to reach outside of ourselves and to rely on what the Savior has already done and is already willing to do for us. It has to do with us deciding not to just "get through" difficulties, but to put all of your heart and soul into learning from and making the best of them. 

The more that he talked, but more that the Spirit impressed upon me the fact that Christ is not a Savior for the half-hearted. He cannot save those who only give a little bit of themselves to be saved. He requires the whole heart, the whole mind, the whole outfit. He isn't satisfied with taking away a few of your burdens or a few of your weaknesses, and neither should we be. He is a God of the whole, and if we are to be His, then we must give the parts of us that we mistakenly cling to.

As I've thought about what that means for myself, another thing Elder Bednar said really cut me to the core. He said that if we asked God to see ourselves as we are, we would realize what total hypocrites we are; how we preach one thing and then do the opposite, but are too blinded by our pride to see it. (To be fair, he also said that we'd see how well we're doing with certain things and how we don't give ourselves enough credit at times.)

In trying to give of my whole self, I have been humbled beyond words to see the things that I have always brushed over about myself that I want to change. I haven't walked away from that conference with Elder Bednar with a more analytical attitude towards myself, but I've realized that I need to be expecting more of myself as a missionary and individual. It's made me understand that, with as much potential as I was born with, I shouldn't cheapen my experience in mortality or my life to come by never facing the truth of who I am and who I can be.

We stayed the night at S. McD's and went to Latvian Area conference in Riga at a conference center. Inna and Lena came! It was so perfect because Elder Bednar taught the whole Restoration but did a lot better job than I could have, of course.

The bus ride back with the branch was beautiful. We took the scenic route with bumpy roads but it was worth it to see all of the wildflowers and old houses or barns with trees growing through the middle of them. I love the Baltics with all my heart.

I wish I had more time but I want you to know that I love you all. Thanks for being so thoughtful and for sharing with me the strength that you have. I need whatever form of support that you have to give :)

Love,

Sister Gooch

P.S. The pictures are of us with a sickle and us sawing Elder Hansen in half. We've always wanted to do that.

Week 48: May 26, 2014

Has it seriously only been a week? So much has happened that I feel like it was a few months ago that I last wrote to you.

So, first of all, I absolutely love the sisters who are staying with us. It's been crazy figuring out our schedules and all that, but it's also been a huge blessing to have them here. Sister Cook is from Salem, Oregon and we have had fun reminiscing about Curt Bateman or whoever that kid was that McCall was in love with. Haha she's one of the funnest people I've ever met. She can quote any movie or tv show and she always has something hilarious to say in any situation. I love it.

Sister Haas is also really fun. It's fun to have them around because they keep things light and it's kind of impossible to get too upset about anything. Plus they're still in training so we've been their "trainers" and teaching on the street with them is a hoot. Just yesterday a guy asked us if we have a program where he can find a new wife and Sister Haas nods her head emphatically and says, "Of course!" I died.

We had a last-minute exchange in Riga, which I loved just because Sister Haas and Sister Cook are in awe over every new thing they see. I went with Sister McD and Sister Cook for the day, and it was one of the funnest exchanges I've been on. In Sister Cook's mission, they're not allowed to talk to men or teach them. Poor girl, because we happened to teach Roman, an investigator with a baptismal date, and in the middle of the lesson he gets up and takes his shirt off because he was so sweaty. I didn't really blame him because it's like 1,000 degrees here but it was still a little awkward keeping eye contact. Sister Cook stared straight ahead at the wall the whole time, and I couldn't really stop laughing. You know how sometimes you can make your laughter silent? Well, it wasn't one of those times. I sounded like a wheezing donkey for a little while there.

Highlight of the week, though, was gardening again at Valentina's neighbor's dacha. Her garden is so cute! That's what one of the attached pictures is of. We got to go there twice. It was funny because once the elders had to leave, we decided to stay and finish weeding her strawberry patch. Valentina and her neighbor, Angelina, were talking about the church. Angelina isn't a member, so she was baffled as to why we weren't dating the elders. She kept repeating, "It's a nightmare! You're young and you should have a burning love in your life!" I laughed pretty hard about that and shed a tear in agreement.

Honestly, though, there is nothing better than doing service here. I love that they always feed us sandwiches with tomatoes and sour cream on them, along with tea from their garden. They gave us a huge bag of onions, cilantro, and tea leaves. I've said it once and I'll say it again: I love these people.

Something that I've been studying is obedience and its relation to vision. Everyone always talks about "blind" obedience, and I've put some thought into figuring out what exactly it is that makes obedience blind. Here's what I've got: obedience is blind when you are doing something just because it's something that you've always done without recognizing or noticing the fruits of it, or doing something because you fear judgment of other people or because it's what everyone around you is doing. Then, and only then, can you call obedience blind. Otherwise, obedience is the only thing that can really give us vision; that gives us the ability to see things as they really are. That's the definition of truth: things as they really are, were, and will be. Obedience and truth are connected by default, and you can't have one in abundance without the other. I told you about the talk by Elder Richard G. Scott on the subject. It's called "Fruits of Obedience", and it blew my mind how many there are and how they don't seem to have much to do with obedience. If you strive to be obedient to the commandments and the promises (covenants) you've made to God and, in some cases, to your spouse, then here are the fruits of your efforts: integrity (a cement in relationships and the foundation of spiritual communication), peace, a quiet inner support, being prompted to know what to do in any situation, understanding more the things that puzzle you, a future without limit, inspiration and power beyond your imagination, discipline (backbone of a noble character), an ability to facilitate the proper use of time and agency, order and consistency to your life, having your priorities straight, a capacity to work and receive joy from productive work, an ability to make up your mind and have resolve, not reanalyzing your decisions with every new circumstance, charity towards others, ability to forgive those around you and yourself, a love of service, giving, and reaching out, with your first thought being for others, being demanding of yourself in a way that allows you to seek for personal improvement, being trustworthy, having inspiration to know what to do and the power or capacity to do it, being endowed with power to do, to serve, and to give, having confidence in yourself to make wise decisions, to be humble with the assurance that whatever you are asked to do in life can be done, to be spiritual and capable of being used as an instrument in the Lord's hands, having a noble character, you will discover latent talents and unknown capacities, raise the vision of others and be a saving influence in their lives, more easily become who you want to be, and, most important of all, you will find in your being a love for your Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. It will become stronger and stronger until all you truly want to do is determine what they would have you do and, with their help, accomplish it.

If you write each of those blessings down and study them individually, a greater light and clarity of vision will come into your life. Heavenly Father does not ask us to shut our mouths, nod, and obey Him in whatever He says. His is an invitation to live with eyes wide open, being conscious of the consequences of our actions and, by extension, being aware of the blessings that we receive from being obedient. Something else to recognize is that obedience doesn't mean not having any questions. I am convinced that if anybody truly studies the doctrine and teachings of this church, it is impossible not to have questions. I have several that I'm pretty sure I can't find an answer to in this life, but the simple fact is that in this church, the truth of what we know will always trump the mysteries of the things that we do not know. That's because of the quality of truth that we have. If the Book of Mormon is true, then it doesn't matter where dinosaurs fit into the whole picture (you might think I'm being facetious but that's seriously one of my questions). It doesn't matter what kind of mistakes past church leaders made or how tedious the surface level conversation with your relief society president is. The fundamental truths that we hold dear are enough to weather any doubt, question, or misconception that we might have. 

I love you. Thank you for being so supportive and thanks for your prayers. I can feel them all the way over here in Latvia.

Love,

Sister Gooch

Week 47: May 19, 2014

Hey!

I feel like so much has happened in the past week. We picked up the sisters from the Rostov, Russia mission and they've been with us for the past two days. They're waiting on visa work so we're not exactly sure when they're leaving. It's been fun, though! And stressful. Mostly stressful, haha. Daugavpils is pretty small so it's kind of crazy trying to plan each night and make sure that we're all being effective. They're really nice and laid back though. Their names are Sister Haas and Sister Cook. They keep telling us how beautiful Latvia is compared to Rostov, so I have a renewed appreciation for the Baltics. It really is pretty here.

Sadly, Zita leaves for England today. She'll be staying there until August, but she said she'd like to do lessons over Skype, so we're excited about that. The hope is that we can pass her off to the missionaries in Isle of Mann (that's where she'll be) or something so she can actually meet with them in person. I've never taught over Skype but I'll let you know how that goes. We'll miss her: she's one of the sweetest people ever. 

Art club has been going alright. We decided to combine it with English class and teach an English art class because not many people came for just the art club. It would be cheaper to advertise for and less stress on me to teach everything 100% in Russian, so we're going to start it back up in a few weeks. It's cool though because I feel like my art skills have improved a lot just from teaching it. 

We've been able to do a lot of service though! It's been some of my favorite days on my mission. We helped Valentina garden, and then she asked her neighbors if they had planted yet and they said no so we went and gardened for her two neighbors. It's hilarious to help Valentina because she is the most manly babushka I have ever met. She's super strong and has this weird dog whispering ability. There are tons of big dogs here (especially at the dachas, or summer home things) and every time she opens her mouth to yell at them, they immediately listen. Humans do the same for her, especially when she's telling you what you're doing wrong with the plow. It's funny though because for some reason she really thinks I know what I'm doing. She came up to me in church the other day and was like, "Sister Gooch, I just wanted to tell you that it was so cool how you were shoveling that dirt the other day. You just (insert grunt and impersonation of me stomping on a shovel to get it further into the dirt)! Ha-ha-ha! Hee-hee-hee!" That's a direct quote, haha. She grunts a lot in a very Russian way. Maybe Jared can explain it to you. Anyway, she taught me how to plow and we planted potatoes. How fitting is that? It was really fun and I am quite sore because of it. We're going back on Tuesday, so I'll be sure to take a picture of how picturesque her neighbor's garden is. I love days like that.

As a side note, I finally bought a bible in Russian! Sister Roy and I have been struggling along for the past two transfers because neither of us had one but we found a book store and the one I bought looks sweet. I might send you a picture later today because we're splitting our email time. 

So I've had a surprising discovery in the past few days. I've been pondering a lot about what it takes to help a person change, because that's essentially my purpose here in the Baltics. Whether it's my investigators, members, or companion, I'm supposed to be helping them improve. So in praying about it, I've come to a realization. Are you ready? Here comes the boom:

Who you are and what you do matters a lot more than who the other person is and what they do. 

So often we see room for improvement in a loved one and we wish they'd somehow change or we just tell ourselves to stop being judgmental. I want to emphasize the difference between being judgmental and being too easily satisfied. I read a quote by C.S. Lewis that says, "It would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea. We are far too easily pleased." And, in the same sense, we can settle for less than we deserve and are capable of if we are going to hid behind the mask of tolerance rather than rolling up our sleeves and rooting out the things that make us ungodly, including helping others do the same. I am not suggesting that we make mountains out of molehills and begin to attack at every visible weakness we can discern. Rather, I'm saying that we should determine to become enablers of change.

There are a few essentials to becoming such a person. First and foremost, it requires loving like Christ does. Being accepting as He is means realizing that the faults and imperfections of another person (and, by extension, yours) are temporary and must be treated as such. If you always think of them in the same light with the same old shadows, it makes them feel incapable of change and has a paralyzing effect on relationships. Christ helps people form new, fresh views of themselves. We need to make the necessary changes in our hearts to do the same. 

It also requires listening to their concerns if they have them (you can assume that they do, or they're probably not breathing) and don't try to solve them all at once. Just try to understand them and why they feel the way they feel. Chances are that their actions and character will make much more sense and you'll see past the surface imperfections to what they're actually struggling with. Before you even think about pointing out the flaws in their logic or giving them what seems to be an obvious solution, realize that you're treading on sacred ground. The guidance of the Spirit is the only thing that will assure that something worthwhile comes out of your mouth, and it's in these moments of clarity that you can have great impact on the person. When someone feels truly understood, then they are generally ready to listen to what you have to say.

Praying for the gift of discernment enables you to see their potential and point it out to them. Tell them of the things you could honestly see them accomplishing or open their eyes to their gifts and ways to further develop them. None of this will mean anything, however, if you're telling them things you wish they had. If your attitude and comments are not coming from a genuine place, then the effects will be the opposite of what's desired and trust will be lost.

In all things, be genuine. If you don't honestly believe it, then it's better not to say it. If you are genuine and seeking the Spirit's guidance, you will succeed in helping the person lift their eyes to the higher plane of eternal perspective. Don't expect change to manifest itself anytime soon, but be unwearied in your efforts to raise their sights because you are building them up to lay a foundation for the rest of their lives and their eternity. If we were dealing with light bulbs, then we could just reach up and tighten it a little to make it shine again, but we're dealing with eternal souls here and they require more diligence and love to make them shine the way they were designed to. The way that we love people in this life will effect the way that they view themselves and this world, and it'll effect generations beyond us. We must not become so easily pleased that our posture toward eternal life becomes slouched and noncommittal. We must not settle for lives lived half-heartedly. That's not what we're here for. We're not here to indulge in things that will ultimately leave us empty. We're here to seek out the truly precious and valuable things in this world. You have to have enough love for yourself and others to keep each other from settling, because we were made to be much, much more than just good people.

So an enabler, in essence, is someone who is a conduit of truth and shines it in such a way as to allow others to look to their example and learn how to shine for themselves. Light is infectious and because of our identity as children of the very Being who embodies light, the possibilities of spreading it are as infinite as the spirits inside us.

I really love you. I know that's easy to gloss over when you read it, but what I mean in that tiny phrase is that I love you perfectly (or as perfectly as an imperfect person is capable of loving) for the person that you are. I love you for all of the things that I've learned from watching you and for all the times that you've talked to me and for being funny and for teaching me how to laugh at myself and for loving me back. You're the very best people I know, and I take you with me everywhere I go. Mostly because I have lots of Mom quotes in the back of my head but also because I am who I am because of who you are. So thanks for that.

Love,

Sister Gooch

Week 46: May 12, 2014

It was so, so, so good to talk to you guys.

Is there any legal/ethical way to stunt Ashton, Riv, and Yvey's growth until I get home? They're so big! And cute. Sister Roy said Riv's gonna be a lady killer.

We found out so many exciting things this week! I already told them to you but just in case it didn't sink in, Elder Bednar is coming to Latvia on June 1st! He was supposed to go to Ukraine but things are crazy there so we're sloppy seconds! I'm so grateful to be in Latvia because none of the missionaries in the other countries get to come to Riga and hear him speak to us for three hours. Woo hoo! Also, Elder Rasband will be there. He's a Seventy. 

Another thing is that two sisters from a mission in Russia (we don't know which one) will be staying with us from the 17th to the 30th of May. So, starting this Saturday. Not exactly sure how Daugavpils is going to keep from exploding with 10 missionaries here (the elders are also getting two Russian elders), but I'll let you know how that goes.

We had an exchange with Sister McDiarmid and Sister Ixthluac (I don't know how to spell her name last week. It was so good to be back with S. McD! We laughed pretty much the whole time and it was fun to update each other on our lives. It's been about eight months since I've been able to talk to her.

Also, I love Sister Ixthluac to death. I know that expression doesn't really mean anything and it's vague but I have a lot of respect for her. She went to Harvard and she's the humblest, most positive person ever. Every exchange is great with her.

We met with Zita again this week. It was weird because I felt like I received a lot of revelation as to how the lesson needed to go and exactly what needed to be said, and the whole plan kind of seemed bullet-proof. As soon as we sat down at the table to teach her, though, both of us knew it wasn't right and that we shouldn't teach her the lesson we had planned. I was super confused because I was thinking, "is this just me chickening out or is this a prompting that I'm supposed to follow? And if it's a prompting, then what are we supposed to do, because we don't have any other lesson plans." We ended up sticking to the original plan and it didn't go very well. I was talking to Elder Dodge about it and he said something that I'm still thinking about: that sometimes Heavenly Father will test us to see if we will follow the Spirit in all circumstances. I had thought that by following through with the plan, I was showing confidence in the revelation that I received and therefore doing the right thing but I guess not. Still figuring that out.

You all mentioned that you wanted me to give more details in my letters that I don't feel like anyone would care about. Sooo get ready! It's gonna be random.

Number one infuriating thing about the Baltics might possibly be the fact that they don't have standardized staircases. They are always uneven and I fall up them all the time because I don't always look at where I'm putting my feet. Pretty sure they just eyeball it when they're building stuff, haha.

Story from last month that I'm still laughing about but wasn't totally confident in my ability to express it in an email: we were on a ghetto Dpils tramvai and we always stand on those things and leave the seats for the multitude of babs. So we were standing in the front of the tramvai and this gigantic bee (they're bigger here) flew over by these two babs and a guy who looked like he's lived with his mother his whole life. His mom just started going at it with her arm, trying to crush the bee against the window. So just envision a bab blindly whacking her arm against the window and yelling in Russian, saying the equivalent of "get away from my son!". Meanwhile, Sister Roy and I are becoming increasingly confident in the fact that the bee is starting to get murderously angry, and mama bear bab hits it over to innocent bystander bab, all the while yelling, "Get it! Get it!" So innocent bystander bab starts going at it with her arm, and Sister Roy was almost having a heart attack at the fact that the poor bee wasn't doing anything to anyone and was being savagely attacked. The next stop, they all got off and the cherry on top of this whole thing was that the whole time, the son of mama bear bab (somewhere in his late 30's-early 40's) who has been staring at us the whole time is going down the stairs, then last minute fights his way backwards and very gingerly places a candy in Sister Roy's palm. With a wink, he was gone.

Words can't really describe how awkward that last moment was and how hard we laughed afterwards. 

Another thing was from when Sister Ixthluac and I were on our exchange. We stopped a guy and he was a little intimidating and the whole conversation was really awkward. It was one of those conversations that you have and nothing comes out like you want it to. Plus, Sister Ixthluac is only in her second transfer and as she was trying to ask him a question, he just started laughing because neither of us were speaking very understandably. We walked away being like, "Well, it doesn't get more awkward than that." But ohh, we spoke too soon. A few hundred feet down the road, we crossed the street and we heard footsteps running behind us. We both turned around to see him running toward us and so we stopped to talk to him again and he was like, "Sorry, I don't want to talk again, but that's my girlfriend," pointing to the girl standing right behind us. 

Second time that's happened on my mission and it still hurts to think about.

I'm attaching a talk to this email because I love it and I've been studying it a lot. It's from the 70's, so excuse some of the weirdness that you'll find, haha. But he talks about how knowing who we are makes all the difference in the world in the way that we live our lives and make decisions. Knowing that we're children of God shouldn't just inspire us: it should define us. Inspiration isn't the last stop in our gospel learning. It's taking the things that we're learning and letting it become a part of us. 

I'm tryin' real hard to practice what I preach. I feel like I've learned a ridiculous amount of things on my mission and I hope they've changed me for the better.

I love you all. Send me more pictures of yourselves. Selfies, if nothing else, haha.

Love,

Sister Gooch